


In Your Arms

by oreamilkshake



Category: STVF, Seduce the villain's father, 악당의 아빠를 꼬셔라 | Seduce the Villain's Father (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/M, Fluff, Hurt! Erudian, Hurt! Euredian, I am, Temporary Character Death, Time Travel, Traumatized! Eru, but a caring troll, eru is father or daddy, expect the pain of a thousand men, for the sake of 300 ffs, i don't know what to tag, just kidding, more to add later when i'm smart enough to do so lmao, not really - Freeform, or am I?, raulus is a troll, yeni is cute
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:01:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 63,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25314238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oreamilkshake/pseuds/oreamilkshake
Summary: This is heavily inspired by that one post in NovelUpdates by Reita_360‘If this were a[n] otome game of some sort, one of the bad endings would be the Emperor lets Yerenica go, she returns to Lebovny with a broken heart. The Emperor marries the ELTRASH proceeds with having a kid. Emperor will later receive a message that Yerenica dies because of Maladjustment of magic. He becomes so heartbroken. His son reaches 11 years old. When his son will sacrifice and kill him, his only thoughts would be that he won’t be reunited with Yerenica because his soul will [be] trapped in hell because of black magic. His last words would be I love you, Yerenica.’
Relationships: Yereninovica Lebovny/Erudian Belgoat
Comments: 78
Kudos: 235





	1. PART I

**Author's Note:**

> This really got me thinking especially with the fact that this fandom doesn’t even have fanfictions to distract while we wait for translations. So, I’m just going to pop the bubble that popped into my head.  
> In this story, Eru let Yerenica return to Lebovny. This happened when the Duke of Lebanon, Fernandez Cardis, and Sergei Lebanon arrived in Belgoat and took Yenny away. The kiss never happened. I’m sorry. Erudian married Lady Elard, even though he told Yenny he wouldn’t because Elard threatened Yenny’s life. Deckard is here and is two years old. But… he won’t be here for a long time. The first Deckard anyway.  
> This is angst with happy ending… hopefully. Idk my mind is in charge.
> 
> Songs that inspired me to write this:  
> Lewis Capaldi- Before You Go  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUMASnXYJ5k  
> Lewis Capaldi- Hold Me While You Wait  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arj4BDdz6qc
> 
> do listen to these songs while reading this story

**_‘Her Royal Highness, Princess Yereninovica Susuvia Lebovny, second princess of the Kingdom of Lebovny, has passed away.’_ **

Erudian Lu Soledo Belgoat stared outside the windows of his study, eyes blank and dull. His reddish eyes gazing at once used to be a palace for a princess across the vast gardens, now sitting empty. He never did find the heart to restore it to what it looked like before he thought of kidnapping the princess.

_‘Is the room to your liking?’_

_‘Oh… Father. Yes. I like it.’_

Erudian closed his eyes, his chest suddenly twisting into a knot as he remembered her sweet, melodic voice.

_‘Please, marry me!’_

**_Stop it._ **Erudian grit his teeth, his fists clenching and he was sure that bruises would be there later on, bearing the marks of his fingernails. _She’s not coming back._

Without another word, he left his study and went to one room where he knew he would find some peace.

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

Deckard was an unusually quiet child. Erudian was concerned about it at first but the healers and midwives assured him that it was completely normal. The queen was away, doing her duties as empress and magician of the tower, so he used this opportunity to spend more time with him.

Soleia Elard always coddled the boy close to her and Erudian was concerned with it. He was concerned with the thought that the witch was going to turn the boy against him, against his own father, and manipulate Deckard to rule Belgoat.

_What’s she planning now?_ Erudian smiled at the staring baby, his toy between his teeth as his nursemaid watched them silently at the corner of the room. _Yereninovi… Yerenica is… gone now._ A heavy weight placed itself on his chest as he finished the sentence in his head.

_Ah, it hurts. Really…_

A knock on the door was heard and Erudian turned his head to find Diego Schumart. The man had a somber and pitiful look in his face making Erudian turn his head back to his son, already knowing what the man was going to say.

“I heard the news, Your Majesty.” The man began, his voice low and full of compassion that it nearly made Erudian snap. But he resisted, he knew how much Yerenino… Yerenica saw the man as a friend, a person she trusted in the place that hurt her. Aside from him, Diego was a reliable shield Yerenica had in this land.

“… Yes…” he said, not really knowing what to say. Deckard suddenly found him interesting and crawled on the floor towards him, Erudian opening his arms, ready to catch him if needed.

“I’m so sorry, Your Majesty.”

“…”

The room was filled with a heavy silence, even the nursemaid was tense. How could she not? How could anyone else not? Erudian himself knew the rumours, the whispers. He knew of how the people, including the aristocracy, thought of him and the princess. They told stories of how he kidnapped her to marry her, how he treated her like a bride inside the walls of the Imperial Palace, how he… loved her.

Deckard was now in his arms as Erudian still knelt on the floor, trying desperately to focus his attention to his son who was giggling at his father’s hands. _If things were different, would you have been hers?_ He caressed the baby’s cheek. _Would you have her smile? Would you have her hair? Her eyes?_ The vision of pink hair and blue eyes came to his mind and the ache worsened.

“… Will you be going?” Erudian turned his head slightly, gesturing to the priest that he was listening but won’t be looking at him. “Delegates from all over the continent will be attending the… funeral. It would not look good if Belgoat did not send anyone.”

_I want to go._ Erudian wanted to say. _I want to see her, one last time._

But he knew it could not be.

“Perhaps-“

“If I could recall, she was friends with Countess Iven.” Erudian gulped his throat silently, letting Deckard play with his clothes, the buttons interesting to the child. “I’ll be sending her.”

He could feel the sadness emitting from the man. “But-“

“If I go there, I don’t think it would look great.” He smiled ruefully. “I am the one who kidnapped her after all.”

The room was filled with silence once more, except for the occasional babble and giggle from Deckard.

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

**_“It hurts!” a voice screamed. “Help me, please!”_ **

**_Erudian turned to find pink hair on the floor, crawling. “Yerenica…” he gasped and she looked up._ **

**_The princess of Lebovny was in tears, her face pale and scrunched up from the pain that he still did not understand. When she saw him, she reached out her hand. “Your Majesty,” she sniffed, tears streaming down her colourless cheeks. “… Please… Help…” she called out, struggling to reach him._ **

**_Erudian made the move to step forward but he felt hands on his shoulders, making him turn. He sneered at the sight of the red haired woman, smirking at him triumphantly._ **

**_“What’s there to help, my emperor? She’s gone.” She nodded her head back and Erudian returned his gaze to the princess, his blood running cold._ **

**_She was now on the floor, lifeless. Wearing the white dress he adored her in. Her pale pink hair nearly mixed with her bloodless skin, and her bright blue eyes, stared at him._ **

**Accusing him.**

**“NO!”**

Erudian gasped as he sat up on his bed. He sighed and closed his eyes, willing himself to relax.

_‘You just have to hold my hand!’_

Erudian glanced down at his hand. He has forgotten what it felt like. Her soft hands on his calloused ones. She liked holding it and although he knew it was for the sake of having some of his divinity, he felt that it was more for both of them.

He remembered the day that he and the princess spent exploring Eugel Square. How long did they hold hands? He couldn’t say. But it almost felt like it was supposed to be there.

_‘it’s a symbol that represents you!’ she says, a bright and beautiful smile on her face._

Erudian sighed. _I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep._

**_‘-has passed away.’_ **

Erudian ran his hand through his hair, letting out another sigh. He went to the balcony doors and opened it, letting in the cool night air. The fresh air was good and he breathed it in. He stepped out, his eyes going to the balcony beside his-

_‘Well, shall I not go?’_

…

_‘Shall I go back?’_

No…

_‘My name.’_

...

_Ah, I’ve wondered why it suddenly felt cold here._ Erudian touched his cheeks to find moisture, the water tracing back to his eyes. _I haven’t done this in a long time._

Indeed, the first time he cried for decades, was for his princess.

_‘Please call me by my name.’_

His lips were dry.

_‘My name.’_

He looked down, not wanting to stare longer at the balcony where he let his heart out. “… Yereninovica.”

_Her face scrunched up. ‘Not that.’_

He smiled ruefully, remembering the exchange, wishing that what he was saying now was what he said. “Yerenica. My Yeni.” He choked up, “… I’m sorry.”

He placed his hands on the railings. Finally, letting his tears fall to his hands. His hair shadowed over his face as he let out a painful sound.

…

**[… Look at you…]**

Erudian jumped at the voice and looked around, finding no one. _What…_

**[It’s sad. Why do I have to see the both of you like this? Ah, really.]**

Erudian turned his head wildly, looking for the source of the sound, eyes narrowing. _Who-_

**[She was like this, you know? When you sent her away.]**

Erudian froze at that. He shook himself out of it and cursed himself when he realized he had no weapon on him. _If this is one of those witch’s tricks, I’ll really execute her._

**[Why don’t you go? I’m sure she would want you to be there, boy.]** the voice suggested.

“Who is this?!” he snarled. “How dare you cast a spell on me-“

**[Ah, this child, really. Be more polite when talking with me, alright? The last time I spoke to someone was with Crumbs and she was mean with me as well.]**

Erudian grit his teeth in annoyance. _Can’t I even mourn in peace?_ “Who are you? Show yourself!”

**[Geez, were you influenced by her? Suddenly commanding me to show myself. It brings me back to the day I first spoke with her.]**

_Her?_ Erudian frowned. Now he didn’t know who he was talking about. At first, it sounded like he spoke about Yerenica, but now… he was not so sure.

“If you’re sent here by Soleia Elard-“

**[You’re mentioning her as well? Wow, even though you’re my descendant, you’re acting like the princess! It’s making my head ache… Ah…]** there was an audible sigh.

_Princess? Descendant?_

Erudian tensed up in realization. “Raulus?” he whispered out.

**[Yeah. That’s me. About time you found out.]**

Erudian has been surprised and stunned many times. Especially during the three month period that the princess had spent here in Belgoat, but nothing she did ever reached to this level. “What…?”

**[Cute son, by the way. Looks like us. Quite dashing if I say so myself.]** there was a smug tone to the voice when he said that.

“…” Erudian was a man who spoke little to others, but he didn’t even know what to say to that.

**[I guess the only thing I can say badly about you is your wife. Tsk. That woman.]**

“…”

**[… What? Aren’t you going to say anything?]** the voice queried, a tad bit annoyed.

Erudian frowned. “What… do you even want me to say?” To the eyes of other people, they might think he went insane. _And perhaps I have._ He was talking to the bloody wind.

**[Well, at least this part of you is unlike her. She was a chatty one that one.]**

_She was._ Erudian recalled fondly when they got closer to the wold statue in the square and she just kept speaking, even if there were parts that he didn’t understand and gave up trying to.

**[… Hey.]**

Erudian raised a brow at how his _ancestor_ called him. Who would have thought that… a god would speak so informally?

**[Do you want to see her again?]**

Erudian stiffened. His breath leaving him. _What?_ He gulped and shook his head. _That… really._ “If you really are Raulus, then you shouldn’t be suggesting such things.”

**[Things like what?]** the voice asked.

“Bringing people back to life. You’re forbidden from doing that.” Erudian looked down. _But I wouldn’t mind if you did… Not really._

There was a moment of silence between them before he heard a snort making Erudian’s eye twitch.

**[I wasn’t suggesting in bringing the dead back to life. I was suggesting to bring you back.]**

_What?_ The god must have seen the look of confusion on his face since he spoke once more.

**[I’m saying I’m bringing you back in time, boy.]**


	2. PART II

_Go back in time._ Erudian can hardly believe it. _Go back to where she is. Go back to where she is still here._

Pink hair and blue eyes.

Pink clouds amidst the blue sky.

Dawn is approaching.

 **[I’m giving you some time to think. I need to go listen to some prayers now. Call me when you made your decision though.]** there was a pause. **[Wait, no. I can talk to you whenever I want. Yeah. You’re making me worry anyway.]**

And just like that, it suddenly felt like Erudian was alone and some divinity left. Divinity he didn’t even notice in the beginning. So…

_… Was that really Raulus?_

The divinity he felt confirmed it. He looked at the sun rising. Erudian glanced at the training grounds in the distance.

Whenever he went there, Yerenica would come to mind. He would remember her desperate and scared face, rushing to him in need, her hand stretched out to him. The feel of her body in his arms.

_The pale skin. The pale hair. The weakened princess. The sleeping princess._

**_The dead princess._ **

Erudian closed his eyes in pain, gulping down the lump that formed in his throat. He called out a servant, who opened the door, waiting for his command.

“Summon the Ivens…” the sight of the maid reminded him of something.

_‘Don’t cry, Marie.’ The princess comforted the teary maid kneeling on the floor as she knelt in front of her._

“Also, summon the maid that once served Princess Yereninovica.”

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

The Iven couple came to the throne room, a maid following behind them. Aside from the guards standing by the walls and Perrik at the bottom-most stair of the podium for the throne where Erudian was now sitting down quietly.

The noble couple and the maid bowed their heads before Erudian told them that they may rise.

“Yesterday, I have received news that Princess Yereninovica has passed away from her illness.” Erudian, the guests, and everyone in the room tried to ignore the croak that came from him, but no one could.

The maid behind them whimpered as Lady Iven covered her mouth with her hand and looked down, body shaking from tears. Her husband frowned sadly at her, wrapping his arm around his wife.

“To show good relations, I have decided to send you three to the princess’ funeral.”

The three looked up, their faces filled with grief, confusion, and surprise.

“B-But, Your Majesty-“ Countess Iven began to speak and protest but Erudian raised his hand, knowing what she was going to say but not wanting to hear it.

“I’ve decided that it would be the best for the three of you to go in my stead. I don’t want for any trouble to happen while being there.”

“… Understood, Your Majesty.” Count Iven nodded slowly before taking his wife away. The maid hesitated before bowing and following the noble couple. When the three were gone, Erudian took this opportunity to rest and sag his body on the throne.

**[You could go, you know.]**

Erudian stayed silent.

**[She would have wanted you to be there, kid.]**

_… Would she?_

**[She always worried for you, thought of you, that poor thing.]**

Erudian gulped down the lump on his throat, ignoring the now-often clench of his chest.

**[So, grow up some balls and go there, you idiot!]**

Erudian winced, catching Perrik’s attention.

“Is everything alright, sire?”

“Yes,” he sighed, rubbing his head. “It’s nothing.”

**[Look at her before she’s six feet under, at least! She deserves that!]**

Erudian lowered his eyes. _I know… She deserves more than that._ He looked at Perrik who was mostly silent and was waiting for the next person to enter the throne room. _Should I? Should I really?_

**[Go to the funeral. And you can make the decision afterwards.]**

_Go back in time._

“Perrik.” He called his aide and the red head turned to his master, dark bluish-purple eyes meeting red.

“Sire?”

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

With the rush of the funeral, the delegation from the Empire of Belgoat were given the chance to use a magic portal to reach the Kingdom of Lebovny quickly. As the couple from House Iven and the maid, Marianne, travelled in a luxurious, while at the same time, appropriate carriage for a funeral.

Erudian watched from the very back of the guards, riding his horse. Beside and guarding him were four holy knights. He had left Perrik in charge of empire while he went to Lebovny, telling him that if anyone asked, tell them that he was taking a short vacation from court. He had left Deckard with Diego as well, the people he is trusting growing smaller and smaller for some reason.

As they neared the palace of Lebovny’s royal family, he could not help but feel the anxiety and the anticipation of seeing Yerenica, even though it would be the last time he would do so.

_It wouldn’t be if you go back on time._

Erudian made sure his iron helmet was secure, not wanting anyone to see his hair or eyes. Only the holy knights, the captain of the knights’ squadron, as well as Count Iven in this group knew that Erudian was with them. Count Iven had been flabbergasted at first but accepted his plans nonetheless.

Erudian watched the capital, Livney, as they passed. IT was quiet despite the crowd and everyone was wearing black, even the children. Erudian wished he could do the same but he had to wear the knight’s uniform for his disguise. But still, for Yerenica, he has a black ribbon on his wrist.

 _Where is she now?_ He wondered, the lower parts of his eyes suddenly heavy. _Is she in the temple? Is her body being presented in the palace?_

A bell rang and Erudian forced himself from his thoughts to look up as they entered the gates of Lebovny.

“The Delegation from the Empire of Belgoat!” a man cried out, announcing their presence.

Their entourage stopped by the entrance of the palace and a servant opened the carriage door for the noble couple. Erudian quickly handed over the reins of Ruid to a holy knight as he rushed to the side of Count Iven, making sure that he is included when they make their entrance.

The count gave him a nervous side eye before sighing and escorting his wife to the entrance. Erudian went to help Marianne who kept her head down and wore a mourning look on her face. Erudian looked away quickly and followed behind the count and countess, beside the maid.

As expected, there was still some hostility between Belgoat and Lebovny, even though he had heard reports of his princess trying to assure them that he had taken care of her and was quite hospitable, even though Lebovny was the one to break their promise first.

As a result, only two knights were allowed to guard the Count and his wife. He looked behind him to identify the knight as Radin, a holy knight of his.

They five of them were brought to the throne room of Lebovny were a small figure wore black, a gold crown upon his head.

Erudian frowned at the sight of the king of Lebovny.

_“Hahaha… Because you resemble my father?” the princess said nervously, avoiding his glance._

Erudian’s eye twitched at the memory. _I… look nothing like the King of Lebovny._

In fact, if anything, he was the opposite of the king. With the older man having a small stature and a chubby appearance, Erudian was a clear contrast to what the king is.

He had seen of course in paintings from a book of what the king looked like before he had attacked Lebovny, but the king wasn’t his goal. It was either the queen or one of the princesses.

_And by fortune or misfortune, he was given Yerencia._

_And had her…_

He clenched his fists and listened to the conversation, bowing his head, to the King of Lebovny as the others did.

“Your Majesty, I am Count Iven. On behalf of His Majesty, Emperor Erudian Lu Soledo Belgoth, and on behalf of the people of Belgoat Empire, we offer you and your family our condolences on the death of Princess Yereninovica Susuvia Lebovny.” Count Iven spoke, keeping his head bowed to the mourning king.

“…” the King did not reply and blankly stared at their group.

“… Thank you, My Lord.” A feminine voice spoke.

Erudian used his advantage with the helmet to raise his eyes without moving his head.

It was an older woman with a greying appearance. The grief was evident on her face; face pale and eyes red. Erudian could see where Yerenica had received her beauty. The princess shared the same face as her mother, but there was something lacking. Something that was missing that completed the princess.

Erudian shifted his eyes to the king and perhaps, perhaps he saw it.

Yereninovica wasn’t only known for her unique appearance; having rare pink hair and the sky-blue eyes that was passed down to the royal family of Lebovny. No. How could Erudian forget one of his most important impressions of the princess?

Her cuteness.

Erudian smiled sadly to himself. _Did she get it from the king? How… amusing…_

And the thought of never seeing it again wiped his amusement like a tidal wave.

“Please, rise.” The Queen said quietly and they all let out small breaths of relief in finally being able to raise their heads.

They were silent, not knowing the words to be said between them while nobles of Lebovny and delegates all over the continent watched. That was the situation, until,

“I-If I may,”

All eyes turned to Countess Iven who was wearing all black. Countess Iven raised her teary face to the royal couple.

Since she is not part of the royal family or was not a relative, she was not allowed to cover her face with a veil. The Queen, for some reason, chose not to do so as well.

“I… During the Princess’ time in Belgoat, I managed to know her, and in the end, befriended her before she left. M-May I… I just… I am seeking…”

“You may.” The Queen replied, a small, miniscule smile on her face. Light brown eyes dipping in sadness. “Of course, you may.” She finished, however the king, until now, said nothing.

Countess Iven sniffed. “T-Thank you, Your Majesties.”

A servant stepped forward and bowed, stating that he will escort them to where the princess was.

As they left the throne room, the servant explained that the body was still in the Princess’ Wing of the palace. The wake would be held in the temple of Raulus in the capital, and the princess will be transferred there on the same day, letting the people have a glimpse of her before her wake. The princess will then be transferred back to the royal palace and be buried in the royal cemetery.

Erudian listened to all of this, making sure to remember the time and details that the man had stated as the five of them were escorted to Princess Yereninovica’s wing.

Erudian glanced around his surroundings.

_“Ah, you saw our palace last time, right?” the Princess beamed up at him. “It’s small compared to Belgoat Palace… What did you think?”_

_Erudian smirked amusedly. “It’s barely the size of a fingernail.”_

_The princess let out an offended sound. “Calling it the size of a fingernail is a bit much.” She huffed before quickly defending her home, “It’s not that Lebovny is small, Belgoat is just too big.”_

_“Sure. Let’s leave it at that.”_

Erudian looked down while continuing to follow his ‘masters’.

 _If only I had not left the conversation like that before continuing the trip. What would have happened then?_ His clenching of his own fists must have been too much as he felt a small hint of pain and some thick liquid pouring on his knuckles.

_What would have happened if I was selfish and had kept you by my side, where I knew you would be safe?_

“We are here, My Lord and Lady.” The servant bowed before opening the grand double doors which led to the Princess’ wing.

Erudian let a small smile be exposed to others. His helmet only did cover the upper portion of his mouth after all.

_Even her wing… It’s really like her._

Even though the atmosphere was clearly quiet for mourning, one could not ignore the tiny details which showed that the Princess had left her mark in her own set of suites.

For all the time that he had known Yerenica, he knew she was a modest woman… except when it came to her beauty which she was a bit confident of.

She wasn’t the type of woman to show off her skin, or to wear make-up and jewellery. She was just herself. And it showed in her wing.

Simple yet elegant flowers on vases decorated the hallways with paintings of the royal family. Of her father, of her mother, of her sister, her sister’s family, and finally, of her. Erudian glanced at her painting more longer than the others did as they passed by, struggling to see her portrait but it was of no use.

As customary, there was a black veil covering the portrait of the dead. Erudian was sure that this was the same state for the other paintings of the princess inside the royal palace.

They were brought to the empty reception room.

The white coloured walls with intricate gold designs were brightened by the large window at the very end of the room where a black curtain hung. Gold candelabras lined the walls of the room, all of them unlit with the morning light coming in still. On the black and white marble floor, there was a black carpet heading towards the centre

Other than those, the room was empty of paintings, statues, chairs or tables. It was empty.

Empty except for a glass casket surrounded by white lilies, roses, and chrysanthemums.

 _Later._ He told himself as they slowly approached the casket where a person, with pink hair, was lying inside. _I’ll give flowers to her later._

But as they shoes echoed on the marble floors, as the distance between him and her lessened, his thoughts focused more on her, more of her.

Erudian gathered all his courage, mustered all his strength, and looked down.

There she was.

Yereninovica Susuvia Lebovny.

_Yerenica._

_His Yeni._

“O-Oh, Princess!” Countess Iven cried, holding her face with her hands as her body shook. Her husband quickly wrapped his arms around his grieving wife, his face showing his sadness as well.

Marianne was sobbing quietly but her tears could have been compared to one of the waterfalls that Erudian had seen.

“Your Majesty.” Radin whispered beside him and Erudian moved his head, letting the holy knight know he was listening. “Here.”

Erudian looked down to find the knight offering his handkerchief. It was only then that Erudian realized that tears were streaming down his face.

“No need.” He whispered back and subtly wiping his tears.

Erudian then raised the part of the helmet that covered his eyes. The Count noticed his actions and looked at him. Erudian then gestured with his eyes to the servant, then back to the Count.

Count Iven cleared his throat. “Can you give us a moment, please?” the man asked the servant who nodded, bowed, and left the room, quietly shutting it behind him.

Erudian didn’t move before finally removing his helmet.

“Y-Your Majesty!” Marianne gasped, catching the Countess’ attention.

“E-Emperor-“ the Countess began and Erudian shook his head, letting them quiet down. Thankfully, their voices weren’t loud enough for the servant who was probably waiting outside to hear.

His reddish-purple gaze went back to the girl inside the coffin made of glass and gold.

Erudian was briefly aware that his steps echoed on the marble floors of the room as he approached his princess. He raised his hand slowly, frightened that he might break the fragile protection of the woman he had grown to love, hand shaking in fear and in nervousness, something he had not felt in a long while.

When his hand landed on the cold glass, he let out breath he didn’t know he held.

And he let out a sob he knew he needed.

“Ah.” He let out a painful sound from his chest as he moved closer to her coffin until his chest finally met with it.

His Yeni, his lovely princess, rested within the glass confines and she looked beautiful. It was as if she was merely asleep in a bed of white, her hair loose like a river made of pink waters.

Erudian was dismayed that he couldn’t touch her, couldn’t feel her face, couldn’t hold her hand one finally time and he tried to satisfy himself by caressing the gold leaves and flowers with diamonds in the centre that lined each side of her glass coffin. He raised his eyes and rested them upon the loveliest face he had ever seen.

Long lashes, luscious lips, a serene smile, pale skin, and closed eyes.

 _Open them._ He took a shuddering breath. _Open them for me, please._

Erudian wanted to see them. Wanted to see the eyes he loved so much, the eyes that reminded him of the seas and the skies.

“I’m sorry.” he whispered. “I am so, so sorry.”

_If only I had been stronger, if only I had been selfish, if only I had been more smart, more confident, more reliable, more-_

**[Stop it.]**

Erudian forced the pathetic thoughts out of his head when a clear, cool, and calm voice reverberated in his head.

**[You’ll only ruin your mind with those thoughts.]**

Erudian closed his eyes tightly, feeling the unfamiliar sting. Behind him, he could hear the weeping sounds of the maid and the countess and although he should have been unnerved with the thought of crying in front of them, he didn’t mind.

Aside from the count and Radin, the women were people who were close to Yerenica. Perhaps he should have brought Diego and Deckard. The priest should have the opportunity to say goodbye to his friend as well, and perhaps, perhaps he could have introduced Deckard to his Yeni.

Erudian was a man who had thought of himself as a person who would never make regrets in any of his decisions. But seeing the woman he love, the woman who had captured his heart, dead, he knew that one of the biggest regrets would forever haunt him until his death.

He regretted letting her go.


	3. PART III

They have been inside the reception room for too long but it had only felt like a minute for Erudian. They were all disrupted from their grieving thoughts when a knock was sounded and they all turned their attention to the door. Erudian listened but refused to move his gaze from his princess. Still, he donned on the helmet and moved closer to the count and his still crying wife.

“Pardon me, My Lord and Lady, but Princess Tezevia is here and wishes to enter the room.”

 _How strange._ Erudian smiled ruefully. His helmet may have hidden the upper parts of his head, but it revealed his lips and chin. _The princess is asking permission in her own castle. Sounds familiar._

The Count gave a glance to Erudian, who nodded.

“Yes, of course.” Count Iven said and the doors immediately opened.

A woman entered, dressed in a black rococo dress. A gold crown with intricate designs was on her head and attached to it was a veil, completely hiding her hair and face. Behind her was a man in a tightly fit dark jacket, black cravat, and white breeches with matching black knee-length boots.

Behind the duo were a couple of servants who had their heads bowed and wore black ribbons on their hairs.

Erudian bowed with the Count and Countess, as well as Radin and Marianne. The Princess gave them a small gesture and they stood straight. She then turned her head slightly to the servants behind her.

“I wish to speak to them alone.” She said and the maids bowed before leaving the reception room, the grand area once again quiet. Her husband gave her a look before returning his gaze to them.

“Count and Countess Iven?” the Princess asked quietly and the couple mentioned bowed and curtsied.

“Yes, Your Highness. We were sent by Emperor Erudian to be the delegation of Belgoat.” A moment of pause. “We are sorry for your loss.”

The Princess was silent, pondering before responding. “I see.” She whispered. Her head shifted downwards. “So, he didn’t come after all?”

A confused look came to all those who came from Belgoat as they stared at the veiled princess while her husband took his wife’s hand in both of his and comforted her.

“My wife, you know very well that it would not bode well with your parents and some aristocrats if the emperor did come.”

Erudian stiffened as his companions lightly glanced at him before returning their gazes to the royal couple. _She’s looking for me?_ His hidden eyes met with the Count who sighed internally before questioning.

“Pardon me, Your Highness, Your Grace, but, may I ask why you are seeking for His Majesty?” he inquired lightly. They did not expect for a light cry to come from the princess.

Her husband offered her his handkerchief which she took gratefully. Hanging all decorum into the air, she slowly lifted the veil and Erudian stared at the familiar face before him.

 _Yerenica…_ he opened his mouth at the sight of her, almost speaking her name before remembering where he was and who that woman is.

The princess lifted the handkerchief and wiped her eyes as she spoke. “Forgive me, it is still difficult for me to accept my sister’s death. We were close, you see.” She said as she stepped forward to her still sister. They made way for her and Erudian jealously watched as Princess Tezevia placed her hand easily on her sister’s coffin.

“I had thought that perhaps, the Emperor of Belgoat would come for her. I had heard about what happened between them during her stay in Belgoat, the rumours that spread across the continent. And I knew that it was true the very moment she came back to us.” She said sadly as she turned her heartbroken gaze to the noble couple and their companions, unaware the man she was looking for was right in front of her.

“The day she came back, we were so happy but it wasn’t the same for her.” She smiled sadly. “Oh, yes, there was a smile, a hug, but I could see she was… sad. As if she never wanted to leave Belgoat.”

Erudian listened to all of this with a heavy heart, hiding his clenched fists behind him. _It’s my fault. All of it is-_

 **[Hush, and listen.]** Erudian listened to his ancestor’s words and opened his ears for the princess.

“We never knew about her sickness. Lebovny’s magic was confined to our borders so my sister was not exposed to it. We only learnt of it when she told us. We sent her to the temple, met with healers, doctors, summoned priests, but we watched as slowly she was withering away.” The princess closed her eyes and turned back to her sister’s coffin. “Every passing day, it hurt for her to breathe, to move, to talk.”

“She was strong, though. Always telling us that she was fine and we did not need to worry.” The princess sobbed. “And I couldn’t bear watching her like that. It pained my mother and father to watch her like that. I cannot imagine the pain that they are experiencing now.”

Erudian lowered his head, wanting now to swallow himself with pain with the information he had received.

_Yerenica was in pain._

_She suffered because of him_.

“Then, suddenly, she became so energized. We were all confused until we saw her writing letters.” The Princess bowed her head to her sister. “We were curious, ‘who was she writing to’? We wondered and guessed, so before she could send the letter, I took a peek.” She took a breath, a struggling and shuddering breath as if she was having difficulty in what she was going to say next.

“It was for the Emperor of Belgoat.”

The Countess gasped, her hand covering her mouth as her eyes went to the side, watching Erudian’s open mouthed expression.

 _For me?_ Erudian shook. _She wrote letters for me? But why didn’t I get them? Four years… I waited for four years!_

“I told my parents and they were horrified and angry. They didn’t want my sister to be in contact with him, they blamed him for kidnapping her, blamed him for bringing her to a land with magic, blamed him for the illness.” She shook her head. “But that anger simmered when they realized how much my sister loved him. And how they heard how he loved her in return, even though he was married.”

Erudian looked away in shame.

“But still, they were hesitant with the letters. ‘What would the people of the continent think of their daughter sending love letters to a married emperor’? That was the thought coming to our heads. So we took the letters and hid it. And every time she made another one, we would stop it. We didn’t let her know.”

Erudian stiffened with anger upon the revelation. What did they think of him? A cheater? A man without honor? Though married, he would have come for the princess, he would have been by her side and offered her comforting words. Held her hand when she was in pain and eased her way out.

 _I could have been here. I could have seen her._ He thought angrily.

 **[Listen, child.]** Raulus urged and Erudian restrained his anger for now.

“We had good intentions. We really did.” The princess cried as he grip on Yerenica’s coffin tightened, her hands becoming pale with the actions. “We just wanted her to focus on getting better, to focus on family. We wanted her to have the best and not be scrutinized by the people.”

“Tez…” the Duke whispered as he placed a comforting hand on his wife’s back.

“Yeni…” she gasped, her heart clutching her chest as she struggled to speak through her tears. “She was calling for him. She was crying. She wondered why he didn’t respond to her letters, why he wasn’t coming to her side, why he wasn’t there when she was on her death bed.” The princess covered her face with her hands as she cried. “It’s all my fault. I should never have told my parents about it, I should have never taken those letters, I should have just let her write them and sent them to him.”

Erudian gulped silently as he listened to the Princess’ regrets.

“I-I’m sorry.” The princess removed her teary, blue eyes, _the same as hers_ , as she turned to them. “I just,” her lips wobbled, “I just miss my sister, so much. I love her.”

 _I love her too…_ Erudian spared a glance to the weeping remaining daughter of the King of Lebovny. _But what does the woman want with me?_

“So, Your Highness is looking for the Emperor because…?” Lady Clarice left off, letting the heiress to the throne know her wondering.

The Princess let out a last sob before speaking. “I… I want him to be here for Yeni a-and,” she then looked to her husband who sighed before pulling something from the inside of his coat. Erudian’s eyes narrowed in confusion.

It was a silver key. At the bow of a key was a cross with a ruby centre.

“I want to give him this.” Princess Tezevia whispered, her hands clasped in front of her.

“A… A key?” the Count voiced his confusion.

“A… few days before her death,” the princess choked on the upsetting word as she glanced at her fallen sister, “Yerenica was already confined to the bed and… And I knew she wouldn’t be here long.” A new set of tears brimmed at the royal’s eyes.

“I confessed to everything and Yeni…” she cried, a hand raising to cover her eye while the other held her chest. Her husband wrapped an arm around her while the key remained in his right hand. “Yeni, sweet Yeni, she just forgave me. She forgave me just like that.”

… _That sounds like something she would do._

“She-she asked me what happened to the letters and I told her I kept them, in case she got better. I don’t really know what was running in my mind, I was just so upset.” Princess Tezevia whimpered and her husband’s grip on her tightened gently. “She then gave me instructions on what to do with them. To keep them safe and-and to lock them. She gave me this-this earring and told me to make it to a key, the other pair turned into a necklace.” Tezevia’s sad eyes went to her sister’s body.

“She-she said she wanted to wear it on her…” she didn’t get the chance to finish as her body shook with tears.

_On her death._

Erudian’s eyes quickly rushed to his Yeni and spotted it. How could he have not seen it?

A necklace with the same shape of the bow of the key.

A silver cross with ornate design, a ruby in its center.

_“It’s a symbol that represents you!”_

Erudian felt the ache in his chest come back with a pressure and he clenched his fists more. _Yerenica._ Erudian closed his eyes in pain.

The Count stepped forward. The Duke of Lebanon gazed at him warily before the count made a small gesture of his hand, he opened it. The Duke understood and placed the key on the Count’s palm.

“So, this key, it opens a box containing Princess Yereninovica’s letters?” The Count finished for the crying princess who noted mutedly. “I see.” the man muttered before turning around

And offering it to Erudian.

“Your Majesty.” He said softly and everyone in the room froze.

Erudian found it hard to breathe as his princess’ last gift was now being given to him. He raised his eyes and found the determined expression on the Count’s face. Erudian smiled ruefully. _This man…_

“Thank you.” He nodded in gratitude, showing the sad smile to everyone. He then gripped it in his hand as he tried to remove his helmet.

“Y-Your Majesty-“ Radin tried to stop but Erudian stopped him with a raised finger as he removed the head piece.

He let out a small sound of relief as the burden of his head was gone and he stared at the confused and shocked faces of the Duke and Duchess of Lebanon.

“W-What…?” the princess stuttered out and Erudian just gave her a sorry smile.

“I apologize for the disguise, Princess Tezevia, as well as not informing anyone outside the delegation of my presence; but I needed to be here, even if I knew the consequences of my actions.”

The princess merely stared at him with wide and frozen eyes as her husband stood up straight, a look of anger and scandal covering his features.

“I understand that you are the emperor of the strongest empire in the continent, but even you-“

“Husband, no.” his wife stopped him with a grip on his arm.

The Duke of Lebanon twisted his head and looked at his wife, who only kept her eyes to Erudian.

“Tez-“

“Let him stay.” The Princess begged her husband. “You know how much this means to me, how it means to Yeni.” She said, fresh tears coming out of her already sore eyes. “You know that.”

Her husband sighed. He sent a stern glare to Erudian, who was lightly amused, before turning his attention back to his wife. “Alright, alright.” He soothed her, patting her back.

“T-The box-“

“I’ll bring it to him.” The Duke nodded but his wife shook her head.

“N-No, I,” she looked at Erudian who kept silent while watching the exchange. “I want to speak with him. I want to tell him what happened.”

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

They were in the drawing room of the Princess Yereninovica’s Apartments.

Erudian glanced at his warm yet, with the death of his beloved, cold surroundings. It was as if everywhere he looked, he could see the touch of Yerenica in the whole wing.

He knew of her love for cream and pastels. Erudian couldn’t remember if he had seen Yerenica wear dark colours except for when he offered her his cape.

Light curtains, gold, light blue and ivory vases, cream carpets…

_Is this what the palace would have looked like if I had married Yeni?_

As his wife and empress, she would have been entitled to oversee the decorating of the several palaces of the Imperial Palace. And the Imperial Palace would have had her full attention as it would be her residential palace.

Erudian recalled the uncaring attitude of Soleia Elard with the decorating of the palaces, saying that she was satisfied with how they were and only focused on her rooms and Deckard’s. It was troubling for the head maid as the duty was then passed down onto her to think about it when guests and ambassadors from different countries would come.

He remembered how frustrated and angry he was with her detached attitude to perform her duties as mistress of the house as she was more concentrated with her work with the Tower.

They never slept in the same room after she conceived. And never had they slept in the same bed since.

A cold marriage for the Emperor and Empress of Belgoat.

That’s what the people say.

Erudian raised his eyes to the woman sitting opposite of his baby blue sofa. The princess was a sharp contrast to the soft colours of the room.

Her dark clothes and red hair felt like they didn’t belong in the soft atmosphere and the only thing that granted her presence here were her eyes.

_Her sky-blue eyes._

Erudian was forced to change his clothes when the princess had asked for tea. Radin quickly went to fetch his clothes mixed with the luggage of the noble couple and helped him change as he had no attendant of his own.

He was fortunate to have black mourning clothes. He needed to thank the head maid and give her a raise as she had brought his full royal regalia, appropriate for mourning and to show the people who he is. The crown, silver and ruby with diamonds, was placed in a secure box inside his own luggage.

Erudian decided to wear the regalia on the funeral underneath his cloak for Yerenica. For now, he settled with dark tail coats, cravat, breeches, and boots. Although Radin had insisted he wear the Emperor’s pins.

So, they were both unmatched for the princess’ sky-blue drawing room.

He knew that there could be several drawing rooms in the wing but this one was closest to the reception room. And the two royals silently agreed that they didn’t want to be far.

Erudian subtly felt his inner chest pocket. It was there. The key.

_“So, this key, it opens a box containing Princess Yereninovica’s letters?”_

“I have arranged for a room to be prepared in this wing, if that would please you?” the princess quietly asked and Erudian nodded, pulled away from his toughts.

“How far from… her?”

The princess let out an understanding smile. “All of the sleeping quarters are unfortunately in the second floor, Your Majesty. But the stairs are close to the reception room and I chose the bedroom closest to them.”

Erudian nodded, grateful for her thinking and welcome. “I see. Thank you.” He said and silence occupied them before the Princess spoke again.

“She always talked about you.” She began and Erudian didn’t raise his head, suddenly feeling unworthy of even being mentioned by Yerenica. “She always told me how kind you are, how hospitable, and caring.” She then let out a giggle. “She also mentioned how handsome.” She said to lighten the mood.

Erudian let out a sad chuckle. He always knew how the princess was rather… dazzled by him. She always mentioned it and pouted whenever he used it against her, knowing that she would be weakened by it.

“Yeni… she would always look at the brightest of things.” She said sadly, playing with the laces of her dress. Erudian hummed and nodded, agreeing with her statement. “She would always try to comfort others by telling her she’s fine, that you don’t have to worry.” She shook her head, tears brimming her eyes as Erudian watched the princess recall memories of her sister.

She took a shaky breath. “She… she protected me, you know? When you came to the palace and attacked.”

Erudian lowered his eyes but kept his head still.

“She… we heard the bells ringing and she just- she had this terrified look on her face but she… she protected me.” the princess closed her eyes and Erudian understood the pain.

It was the day that he first met her after all.

The princess who hid behind the pillars as to not draw the attention of the attacking enemy. Of the attacking emperor.

_But she failed. And I don’t know if I should be grateful for that or not._

“She hid me and ran off, telling me to worry about myself and my daughter. And the next thing I knew, she was gone. But hearing about her stay there, I knew she was happy.” She smiled up at Erudian. “And I want to thank you for that.”

Erudian shook his head. “I don’t deserve-“

“You do.” The princess stood to sit beside him. Erudian didn’t face her. How could he? How could he when he might have caused her illness to worsen?

“You do, Your Majesty.” The princess urged. “I look at Yeni’s eyes when she talks about you and Belgoat, and I knew, that even after her passing, she would never regret meeting you.” Princess Tezevia held his hands with both of hers, tears streaming freely down her face.

“She loved you, Your Majesty. And she always will.”

_“What if I have feelings?”_

_“Because I like you, Your Majesty.”_

_“Because I love you?”_

_“Your Majesty, I-“_

**_“I can’t push you away any further.”_ **

Erudian grit his teeth and his fists clenched. The princess tried to soothe him despite her tears but in the end, both of them lost for what they lost, both of them lost for the love that died.

Tezevia Lebovny wept for her sister that died young. The love she has for her sister will forever remain in her, but that and the memories of her will bring a sad fondness in the long run. She knew she would be able to cope. She had her father and mother still, and now she had her husband and daughter as well.

But the Emperor of Belgoat?

Erudian Lu Soledo Belgoat wept for the love of his life. The love that he had for the young princess that brought light, warmth, and laughter to his routine life. The love that he had for the woman he loved will forever remain with him, but that love and the short memories that they shared will forever hurt and haunt him.

Who does he have to cope with? He had a wife he did not love, he has a son that would not understand and each day, Erudian could not understand his son as well. He was distant to his family. He had no one. Friends? Who could he call friend? Perrik? Iven? Schumart? Who?

Who could understand his pain? Who would relieve the pain? The loss? The hurt? The confusion?

Who could make the feeling of delving deeper into the darkness disappear when the light and love of his life will be buried in the darkness as well? Gone and lifeless.

Erudian wept for the love that was lost.

He wept for the love he never even had.

_Yerenica…_

“Yeni…” he wept, hand raising to cover his grieving eyes while the remaining princess of Lebovny wept beside him and did her best to comfort him. “My Yeni…”


	4. PART IV

Erudian stared blankly at the silver chest on his bed.

The Duke of Lebanon had entered the room silently and let them finish their weeping before he finally presented to Erudian the chest that contained the letters, the precious handwritten letters of his Yerenica for him.

Letters sent but not received.

 _It’s best not to be vengeful for their actions._ Erudian thought grimly. _Yerenica forgave them so, should I. They are her family after all._

Erudian sat on his bed cross-legged and stared at the chest.

It was made out of pure silver with intricate and ornate designs of leaves and vines, a subtle symbol of the royal family of Lebovny. On the very top of the chest laid a simple ruby stone, surrounded by a grand design of a cross with flowers and diamonds.

 _A symbol of the Princess of Lebovny and the Emperor of Belgoat._ His grip on the silver key tightened and he let out a sigh.

**[Go on, open it.]**

“Yes….” Erudian muttered and glanced at the key.

_“It’s a symbol that represents you!”_

Erudian took a moment to calm his pacing heart and to even out his shaking breaths.

He stuck the key inside the key hole and twisted. The chest opened lightly and he lifted it.

Erudian shook and looked away, closing his eyes when he had finally glanced at the contents of the chest.

On one side of the chest was a bundle of letters wrapped with a white silk ribbon. Erudian didn’t get the chance to count it before he looked away but he knew that there were many.

But what distressed him more was the other side of the chest.

A pin, a hair ornament, the jewels that were given to her by Erudian, and finally

An handkerchief embroidered with the Emperor’s symbol.

The handkerchief he had given her when she wept after being kidnapped.

The handkerchief he never got back because the princess had kept it with her.

He held a hand to his forehead.

 _Yerenica, you precious soul._ _How much pain did I give you after pushing you away?_

**[Come on, open it. I want you to read from the oldest to the newest.]**

Erudian frowned. “You sound as if you knew what was happening here.”

**[How could I not? I spoke with her often.]**

The news angered him, bitterness rising throughout his body as he scowled fiercely to the air. “You spoke? _You spoke?_ You knew what was happening here, what was going on, how much she was suffering and yet, _you did nothing._ ” His fists balled themselves on the mattress. “How could you? _How could you?_ What kind of god even are you?! You could have told me! You could have said something and I wouldn’t have hesitated to come here!”

**[… You say that a lot in your thoughts… Not hesitating to rush here if she called. But would you? Could you? Would you really do that?]**

Erudian didn’t respond. Truthfully, he was unsure if he would have done that. Soleia Elard had him in her grip and it was only out of sheer dumb luck that she was gone and he could leave for Lebovny. But there was no doubt that she knew where he was if she returned to Brashard and find him gone.

**[Yes, I did nothing. There’s a limit to what I can do, child. I could have spoken to Diego, I could have spoken to you, but I did nothing as I had already done enough. I did my best to sustain her life force but she was too weak, too far from you.]**

“…”

**[You want to know the truth? At first, she remained by your side to live, to survive from the horrible sickness that is slowly taking her life away. But slowly, she fell for you. And she kept on telling you. Perhaps not always in words, perhaps not always convincing, but she did.]**

“…”

**[I’m sorry if I did nothing for you that is enough. But there are laws I have to obey. I cannot cross the land without you calling for me, I cannot speak with you until you are in your deepest moment and in need of guidance.]**

“Then how come you spoke with her?” Erudian asked grimly. His fingers brushing the letters sealed in the chest. “How come she spoke with you?”

**[She came to me. I saw her in the temple and felt her… presence. It was strange, a child maladjusted and unfit in this world. Still, there was hope for her.]**

Erudian froze. “She could have been cured?”

**[In time, but I did not make it. It was supposed to be this year that I could have blessed her, ten years after your coronation, but I was too late. She passed away.]**

“…” Erudian was silent before he spoke again, “Can you tell me what happened?”

**[What do you mean?]**

“In her final moments,… what happened.”

**[She was in pain.]**

Erudian shut his eyes.

**[She was crying from it, I don’t know how but it would seem that the maladjustment worsened. She shouted and cried, telling her parents and her sister how much it hurt her. She begged for me to heal her, to help her. She asked me and her family where were you, why didn’t you come, why have you not responded.**

**I sensed the guilt from her family, the despair of realizing their wrong doing, their wrong decisions. She wished you were here, holding her hand, holding her hair, as you used to. She wanted you here.**

**In her final moments, her family and you occupied her mind. The pain lessened and then she was gone.]**

“… Her soul?” Erudian croaked, wanting to know where she is now.

**[With me, don’t worry. And ready to return.]**

Erudian lifted his head to the ceiling.

“What?”

**[You didn’t forget, did you? I can turn back time for you.]**

“But I thought you had laws to obey.”

**[Not only me, but someone down below as well. And it seems that he has been lurking in the shadows and is using someone for his plans.]**

Erudian frowned. There was only one enemy of Raulus. Heidis. The god of chaos and destruction. The patron of dark wizards and witches.

**[He broke the laws and grew stronger, I think it seems fair if we break them as well, don’t you think?]**

“So they reason you want to turn back time, is because you want to defeat him while he was still weak?”

**[That, and because I don’t like what happened to Yereninovica and you, my poor descendant.]**

“…”

**[Well?]**

“… After the funeral.” Erudian decided and he could feel the divinity rushing to him in his ancestor’s glee. “And after the letters.”

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

The wake would be the next day and Erudian gave his permission for Princess Tezevia to inform her parents of his presence.

The King and Queen were appalled and angry, at first. But then they softened, cried, and the Queen hugged him, asking for forgiveness for the decisions they have made in their anger and concern. Erudian forgave them easily, knowing that Yerenica would have wanted that and the thought of seeing her again made him feel a bit better.

He knew that even if Raulus turned back time, the pain of losing her first would remain. Erudian made sure that when the clock is reversed, he would do his utmost best to make Yerenica happy, spend more time with her, and help her be rid of the illness.

After making his decision of going back in time, he did exactly as Raulus told him to do and read the first letter.

He caressed the beautiful cursive handwriting of his princess, he could smell the perfume and scent that always followed her, before he read the letter.


	5. PART V

**_Your Majesty,_ **

**_I have finally returned to my home safely and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the things that you have done to me during my time in Belgoat._ **

**_There has been significant changes in my father and mother. My father had grown skinny from his lack of appetite and my mother was ill with worry for me. It would seem that I have to remain in their presence for a long time to let them return to their previous lifestyle and constitution._ **

**_Also, I have finally had the opportunity of meeting my niece, Brisney. She is the most lovely and beautiful thing that I have ever graced on! I’m quite sure that she will be the breaker of hearts when she is grown._ **

**_Yet, somehow, being surrounded by home and family, I miss Belgoat. I miss your presence and the time that we have spent together keep coming back to me and I have the feeling of wanting to go back._ **

**_I know I’m being silly, but I hope you do not find these feelings of mine ridiculous, Your Majesty._ **

**_Please send my regards to Diego and Marianne. I miss them so dearly._ **

**_Yours,_ **

**_Yerenica_ **

****

**_Your Majesty,_ **

**_I knew of your stubborn nature, but my! A month without a reply? How you wound me deeply. I’m teasing. Perhaps the letter has been lost and never reached you. Anyway, I only wanted to tell you that I am doing fine in Lebovny, so far._ **

**_I have told my family of my maladjustment to magic and my parents were furious. They blamed you for some reason, which I absolutely do not understand as you cannot possibly be the cause of my current health constitution, though your presence does heal me. I wish you could visit so that I may spend some time with you._ **

**_My parents have called in a priest of Raulus but it does not feel the same with you or Diego. I have missed all of you and hopefully, with this letter, you will come for me._ **

**_Ever yours,_ **

**_Yerenica_ **

****

**_Your Majesty,_ **

**_You must be very busy as to not reply to my letters, and I completely understand. Spending my three months in Lebovny helped me in understanding that a king or emperor never sits or rest easily with the thought of his people constantly in his mind._ **

**_You are a good emperor, but it would be best to relax sometimes and be reassured of the times of peace happening in our lifetime. I do not wish for you to get ill and catch something. It would make me worry if that will happen and I do not know what to do. I doubt my parents would allow me to cross the country and step into lands which would harm me. I hope that you would take that with no offense, of course._ **

**_My parents have decided to send me to the temple, hoping that my health will be getting better. I remember the time I spent in the Temple of Raulus. If you come, I will share you a secret and this will truly intrigue you, Your Majesty._ **

**_Please send my regards to Diego and Marianne. And Countess Iven, as well! She has been a friend of mine, I cannot believe I had forgotten her. Silly me._ **

**_Tell them not to worry too much. Also, since Marianne is a maid from Lebovny, tell her to visit me, okay?_ **

**_Sincerely,_ **

**_Yerenica_ **

****

**_Your Majesty,_ **

**_I have heard the news. Congratulations on your marriage. I don’t understand why you would break the promise you made, but at the same time, I do. Did she threaten you? Did she say something? Has she casted a spell on you? Do you love her?_ **

**_Anyway, I hope you great happiness. I also hope everyone had a great time._ **

**_Yerenica_ **

****

**_Your Majesty,_ **

**_I have heard that ~~Lady Elard~~ Queen Soleia has conceived a child! Congratulations! I hope it is a boy that will look exactly like his father. You are a handsome man and ~~Lady~~ Queen Soleia is a beautiful woman. There is no doubt in the world that the baby will be as perfect as his parents. Perhaps he might be a competition for my niece. Surely, there is no baby perfect than my beloved niece._ **

**_I hope your duties do not stress you too much and take you away from your wife too much. It is this time that you must be by her side at all times and offer her comfort and love. My sister says that the baby will feel it as well._ **

**_I pray that all of you good health and be safe._ **

**_Yours truly,_ **

**_Yerenica_ **

****

**_Your Majesty,_ **

**_I must bring you sad news and I hope that this not bring your attention far from your pregnant wife. The healers say I am not getting any better even though I have remained in the temple for many months now. My family fear for me and I am a burden to them. I hope I can get better._ **

**_May I ask a request that you visit me sometime? You have always been a medicine for me, a cure for the pain that I felt. I know that you are now living the blissful life of a married man and an upcoming-father, but please, I need you._ **

**_Yours,_ **

**_Yerenica_ **

****

**_Your Majesty,_ **

**_I told you it would be a boy, did I not? I am such a great fortune teller. Perhaps I have received a gift of sight? The head priestesses teases me about it though and I am glad that I have such a light-hearted woman by my side in the temple._ **

**_I wonder what you will name him? Will it be a grand and kingly name? A name befitting for a prince and future emperor of Belgoat? Do tell me, even though you have never replied to my letters._ **

**_I want to tell you as well that my niece, Brisney, is growing and she is the cutest child that I have ever seen! I wish I can see your son and my niece side by side to know who will be the winner of being the most perfect baby in the world._ **

**_Yours truly,_ **

**_Yerenica_ **

****

**_Your Majesty,_ **

**_I fear I do not have much time. The pain worsens everyday even though I have not been exposed to magic. The priests and the healers say that we should prepare for the worst._ **

**_For some reason, even though I knew it was coming, I am still frightened. May I ask that you visit me? I know that your presence will soothe me very much._ **

**_Sincerely,_ **

**_Yerenica_ **

****

**_Erudian,_ **

**_My love, my shield, my sword, my light. I believe my time has come. I’m so sorry, my love that I could not see you one final time. I still remember the embrace we shared before my departure, the feel of your cool hands against mine. I long for you, do you long for me too?_ **

**_They say that you are unhappy, that your marriage bed is cold and that the prince is unloved by his father. I hope that this rumours are false. I know the man I love and he is not the person that the people tell me. I know that while you might not truly love the Queen, you care for her well-being and that your son is the light of your world, if I am not._ **

**_I am so selfish, wanting to be by your side, wanting to be the reason of your life, when truly, there are people who are far more deserving of it._ **

**_My heart aches for your company. It may be wishful thinking, but I wish you could be here, holding my hand and soothing me of my fears of death._ **

**_My love, Erudian, I wish we could be together in the next life._ **

**_Forever yours, my love,_ **

**_Yerenica_ **

There were so many letters, so many. There were parts that Erudian skipped, parts that Erudian was hurt of. All of them were long and he wanted to cut it short, the raw pain in his chest unbearable and unwilling to go on.

Erudian clutched the last letter to his chest as he fell asleep with tears on his face.

Raulus pitied his descendant and placed the letters back to their places, tied with the precious silk ribbon that the princess wore during her time in his land. He sealed the chest and made a string of holy silver for the key, making it into a necklace.

Raulus placed it on his descendant and watched as the heartbroken man held it in his sleep, tears ever streaming down his face. He sighed.

**[Time will turn yet the hurt will remain. Lives may go back to the earth in new bodies, new forms, but the love they felt will forever bound them to the other.]**


	6. PART VI

“The Emperor of Belgoat!”

“Oh, my.”

“So the rumours were true.”

“The poor man.”

“-unhappy marriage-“

“-lovers-“

“-he loved her-“

Erudian forced the voices out of his ears.

They were in the hallway outside the reception room, the funeral process beginning and the thought brought a depressing atmosphere. Yet, there were still some nobles who had no tact and decided to gossip.

“The man has no shame!” a woman whispered, unaware that the others heard her words. “Appearing in the Princess’ funeral when he is the cause of her death, really.”

Erudian shifted his gaze to the left and searched for the woman, he locked eyes with a lady in black clothes who paled upon meeting his harsh gaze. He was about to open his mouth but the Queen has beaten him to it.

“Lady Alison!” the Queen said, a harsh voice echoing through the silent hallway.

The Queen, in her mourning clothes and crown, glared fiercely in the crowd.

“Have _you_ no shame?!” she scowled, her husband placed a placating hand on her arm but it was to no avail. “In your own cousin’s funeral, and to the man she loved! _Get out._ ”

There was silence filling the hallway and no one moved.

“Guards!” The Queen called out and finally, two guards by the hallway entrance moved and went to the direction of the noble woman who sputtered,

“A-Aunt, My Queen-“

“Go, Alison.” Princess Tezevia whispered beside the Queen, her four-year old child on her hips. “I don’t want anyone ruining this day.”

The Duke of Lebanon glared fiercely at his wife’s blood relative who shook at now three pairs of fierce eyes on her. The poor woman was trembling when she was escorted out of the hallway. The Queen sighed before sending an apologetic smile to Erudian.

“Your Majesty, please, come stand with us.”

Erudian blinked.

Unlike him and the crowd who waited by the walls of the hallway, the royal family stood at the centre. The moment that Yerenica comes out and is turned to leave the hallway, carried by royal guards, the royal family will immediately follow suit. The relatives will follow from their places alongside the walls, and the distant relatives next.

Erudian, who shouldn’t have been here in the first place, was at the end of the hallway, close to the entrance. Princess Tezevia asked him to be here and they both thought it would be best to let him follow last as he wasn’t even supposed to join them and should be standing outside with the other noblemen who had no close blood relation to the royal family.

“I-I-“ Erudian didn’t know what to say to the Queen’s request. Although he wanted nothing else than to be close to Yerenica, walking beside her or behind her as they head to the Temple for the wake, he knew he had boundaries and limits, rules and etiquette that he needed to follow while being in Lebovny.

“Please.” The King let out, a sad and pleading look in his eyes as he offered a wobbly smile. “It’s what she would have wanted.”

 _Are you sure?_ Erudian remained silent, looking at the floor with his head straight, not wanting to be looking straight down to the floor in front of the nobles who scrutinized and watched his every move. _Is that what she would want?_

After reading the letters two nights ago, he couldn’t erase the mountainous guilt and ache. His Princess suffered so much because of his decision which caused both of them enormous amounts of pain.

And in the end, it caused her a death filled with heart break.

Erudian went to stand beside the Duke, making him the first to follow the family.

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

The depressing parade from the Palace of Lebovny to the Temple of Raulus was filled with silence except for the beating drums for the soldier’s march and the weeping sounds of women, from nobles and commoners alike.

Unexpectedly, this time, there were no whispers of the Emperor of Belgoat’s presence in the ceremony. They watched him, giving him blank, angry, confused, shocked, and pitiful stares. But still, they said nothing to him.

Flowers were thrown from the people to the passing float made for the Princess.

The float was covered in white lilies and black ribbons. His Princess was inside her beautifully made gold and glass coffin, eyes closed, a single lily in her hands which were placed in her chest.

 _If I was here earlier, I would have made sure that it was made of crystal instead of gold._ Erudian thought numbly, his eyes never straying from the pink hair that he could barely see.

The princess’ clothes were changed to a more beautiful and elegant dress made of lace and silk. And, her necklace, the one he bought for her unwittingly, was still on her neck. There was a shine and Erudian sadly looked at the gift he had given for her.

A crown made of silver, rubies, white and pink diamonds.

It would have been a crown for her if she was his empress.

Erudian had let Radin go back through a magic portal and fetch the gift that was inside one of the vaults inside the Palace Treasury Room. As Radin had indeed entered the room and got him the crown that he ordered from a craftsman, the holy knight had seen all of the precious gifts he had made for the Princess.

 _I was a fool._ Erudian watched the crown shimmer and shine in the sunlight. _I should have given them to her instead of keeping them to myself, scared and embarrassed._

When the princess had left the gates of the Imperial Palace inside the carriage sent from Lebovny, he felt empty. He dreamt of a life where she was his wife, his empress, the mother of his child or children. In his wishful dreams, he sees her in many crowns and jewelleries, and every morning after those dreams, he would sketch those designs of her and have them made, no matter the cost.

The silver crown was the beginning of many things he would have made. From pearl earrings to diamond necklaces, from silk dresses to velvet capes, from hairpins to the very shoes that she wore. He would have them made.

There would be times that he would stroll the square secretly and spot something. Something he knew that his Yerenica would have loved even though it would be cheap and simple. He would buy it and keep it, a reminder for himself of what he no longer has.

Eventually, his collection has gotten bigger and had begun filling his room and study.

He didn’t want Elard to see them whenever she came to his study. He didn’t want her dark eyes to land on something that symbolized his love, his light.

So he went to the treasury and used an empty vault for her. Had the inside made to look like a room instead of a metal square. It felt like walk-in closet, really. He had chairs commissioned, thinking that one day, if she does come back to him, he would want her to be here to try everything and see everything.

The very large vault door was remade and thickened so no one would be able to take away his precious treasures.

**[You can give them to her one more time. Be more patient.]**

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

There was a ringing in his ear ever since the mass began and they headed back to the palace grounds to bury her. They were close now, so close to finally saying goodbye to her.

He watched blankly as the priest finally gave them the command to drop their flowers above her coffin before they seal the sarcophagus.

His Yerenica would not be buried in the ground. Her coffin would be placed inside a beautiful marble sarcophagus which was designed with flowers, vines, and leaves. The sarcophagus would remain above ground, never in the dark of the soil underneath.

As the royal family said their farewells to Yerenica before dropping their flowers, he felt a tap on the back. He was about to scold the person when he saw it was Countess Iven who had teary eyes. In her hand was a single lily mixed with pink and white.

“A pink lily symbolized love, Your Majesty. I passed by it earlier and saw that it was white as well.” She whispered. At the side, Princess Tezevia had thrown her flower, letting out sobs. Her child said goodbye to her aunt before dropping her own lily as well. The Duke of Lebanon was next, and soon, him.

“Thank you.” He muttered gratefully and took the single lily in his hand. At the sides of each petal was white but the inner parts gradually turned pink. It was perfect for his Yerenica.

The Duke of Lebanon finished and now all eyes were on him.

Erudian approached the sarcophagus and took one final look at his sleeping Princess. He let out a teary smile and closed his eyes.

_I’ll see you soon, my love._

He threw the pink lily.

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

**[Are you ready?]**

Erudian was in his room, staring out the open windows and trying to see his Princess’ sarcophagus in the distance.

“In a moment.” He mumbled, his silver hair swaying from the cold breeze trying to enter his room, making it even colder.

He didn’t have the fireplace lit, not wanting to feel the meaningless warmth from it and just wanted to accept the cold from outside. He had opened the windows as the direction that they came from was from his Yerenica’s grave.

**[Alright. Whenever you’re ready, kid.]**

He closed his eyes and smiled.

 _Strange._ He thought. _The wind feels as if it were hands._

He opened his eyes and stared at the night sky, wondering if her soul was one of those glimmering beauties.

He turned and went to lay on the bed, remembering the instructions that his ancestor had given him once night had fallen and he went to his room, turning down the offer to eat.

**_[Lay on your bed and cover yourself with the blankets. Use the pillows if you must. I will be using a large amount of magic and it might be blinding for a moment so this is a precautionary.]_ **

He did as he was instructed, going underneath the blankets and grabbing the pillows to cover his eyes.

“I’m ready.” His muffled voice let out.

**[Alright. Here we go!]**

Erudian was blinded by the bright lights despite the covers and he tried to block it with his hands. He blinked to adjust and when he finally saw his surroundings, he blinked more in confusion.

The pillows and blankets were gone. He wasn’t in his dark and cold room, he was in a bright and clean hallway. He wasn’t laying on the bed, he was now standing. And he wasn’t just wearing his loose shirt and dark breeches, he was now wearing a dark tail coat, his pins in place and boots on his feet.

He was in the Imperial Palace.

He was in Belgoat.

“Wh… What…?” he turned around to confirm and it was indeed the hallway which led to the gardens. “How-“

**[We’re back.]**

“N-No, there must have been some kind of mistake.” Erudian looked around, panic marring his features. “We’re back in Belgoat.”

**[Hey, I don’t make mistakes!]**

Erudian rolled his eyes. “What about the Creation of Magic?” he remembered his history lessons very well.

**[Erk. Let’s not talk about that.]**

Erudian sighed, not wanting to deal with this after an exhausting and depressing day.

“Let’s just go back to what is really important. You told me that you would be bringing me back to a time where Yerenica would still be alive.” He said, running a hand through his hair. He always did this when he was frustrated or agitated.

**[And I did! Look outside.]**

Erudian let out another sigh before following what the voice said. He stopped in his movements, hand in hair when he saw who was outside.

Sitting by the fountain, dressed in the white dress that he loved her in, was the Princess of Lebovny.

Yereninovica Susuvia Lebovny.

Alive and breathing.

He stared in a daze, the beauty before him unbelieving.

Suddenly, that beautiful pink hair turned and red eyes met blue. Erudian still stuck in a frozen world where his only duty is to look at the most beguiling woman in the world.

Erudian was then given the most beautiful and bright smile he had ever seen in his life.

“Your Majesty!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the positve feedback and support! I hope that you enjoy this chapter.


	7. PART VII

_She’s here._ Erudian couldn’t breathe. _She’s alive._

There she was, at the other side of the window, running towards him with that beautiful smile on her face. Erudian’t didn’t know how much he missed that bright smile, the genuine turn of her lips that strived to reach her eyes.

And what he loved the most were her eyes which shone like diamonds reflecting light.

**_Those eyes that he longed to open._ **

Erudian couldn’t move. The thoughts that only filled his mind was the image of Yerenica alive and breathing.

_And was here._

There was a longing in his chest that he never knew, a longing to embrace her, to feel her, to hold her, to listen, to hear her. Though he had come back, he had gone to nearly five years of having no contact with the woman who took his heart and left his empire because he was too weak to be selfish, too weak to help her, too weak to be by her side, too weak to-

He watched her with frozen eyes as she tapped on the window, mouthing for him to open the window. Her lips luscious and red-pink. Erudan stared at her, not aware of the princess of waiting patiently for him to move outside the walls of his palace.

**[Open up the window, idiot.]**

Erudian snapped out of his dazed thoughts before rushing to open the window, a sweet perfume entering with the cool air.

“Oh! It opened!” she let out a cheery laugh, as she wasn’t expecting him to truly open the windows. Erudian’s heart lurched with guilt, the painful reminder of his actions still there.

**_She was in pain. She thought of you. She spoke of you. She wondered where you were, why you weren’t responding._ **

Their words still haunt him. They might forever haunt him. But now he was given a chance to act right and he wasn’t going to let this chance, this blessed opportunity fall from his fingers.

He wanted to jump immediately. He wanted to hug her, never let her go. He wanted to tell her to never leave him and that he won’t ever leave her or abandon her as well.

 _But she’ll be surprised. She’ll find it strange._ Erudian controlled his urges and composed himself for his Yerenica.

Erudian let out a smile, a smile that he always wanted to give to the princess, as he leaned over the window’s railings.

“Good morning, Princess.” He greeted. _Yerenica,_ he wanted to say, _But I don’t know if I deserve to call you that._

“Good morning!”

The princess gave him a cheery grin and Erudian watched her lively nature. And it haunts him that he had seen her pale and dead, the complete opposite of what he was seeing in front of him. Erudian swallowed the lump forming in his throat, keeping up the smile, the small gratitude he was giving to the princess who had captured his heart.

His eyes went down to her clothes… finding them oddly familiar. It was the white dress that she wore on the day they went to tour Brashard, the white dress that he adored her in. The white dress that made it look like she was going to disappear right in front of him.

**_White lace dress on a pale figure resting inside a glass coffin._ **

Erudian chased those thoughts away. Raulus sent him back for a reason and although Yerenica and his happiness was part of it, he needed to focus. Danger surrounded them and they are still unaware of their enemies’ plans.

_This was real. This was happening. He really did went back in time._

And this was the day when he told her that

“You didn’t really listen, Princess.” He said, a sad amusement lacing his tone. Fortunately, the young princess took it well, probably thinking he was just exasperated with her presence in his palace.

_Never._

His Yerenica gave him a confident smile, closing her eyes and placing a hand on her chest. “I am quite the unpredictable woman.” Erudian smiled at her words.

 _You truly are._ He reached out his hand and caressed her hair, her soft hair which looked so lively and alive.

**_Lifeless pink hair flowing like a river._ **

_I won’t let that happen._ Erudian played with her hair, letting Yerenica stare at him while she let him have his small moment of amusement. _I’ll do anything to keep you by my side, my Yeni. Anything and everything._ _I have to keep you safe-_

The thought shattered him as if he was bathed in ice cold water. This wasn’t just the day that he and Yerenica went to tour around the capital city of Belgoat, this was also the day that Soleia Elard had gone to Bellyugung Palace and **_did something._**

He frowned, staring worriedly at the princess. He wants to do what they did before, he wanted her to see the beauty and wonders of the city, of his empire. But the mana stones were still clear in his head. The small vortex within that tried to drag Yerenica from him, tried to harm her. No. It did harm her. Her pale finger turning red and sore.

Erudan’s hands went from her hair to her ear, tapping it.

 _Earrings._ He thought of the silver key that he will keep in heart, the silver necklace that she kept close to hers. _We need to buy those earrings, don’t we?_ Still he didn’t let anything show to his Yerenica.

“So, why has the princess come here?” _despite knowing how dangerous it is?_ He still recalled his words from five years ago… from… Erudian was confused now. He did not know how this time travel work.

**[Just… don’t think about that too much.]**

Erudian decided to stay silent for now, seeing that Yerenica was with him and would have found him odd if he suddenly speak something unrelated to their topic.

“For no reason than,”

Erudian hid a fond smile, already knowing the answer, “Other than?”

His hand was suddenly grabbed, the movement still surprising him for a moment, before his attention went back to his princess. She now had a cheeky and mischievous look on her face, hiding it with her bright and jubilant smile.

“I plan on kidnapping you, Your Majesty!”

Erudian smirked. “And how do you plan to do that, Princess?”

“I have a bit of experience, so I wanted to ask for your cooperation. Would you like to be kidnapped by me, or…”

“Or?” his lips twitched.

“Would you like me to trouble you all day?”

Erudian let out a light laugh. He could feel tears brimming in his eyes and he struggled to keep them in, not wanting to humiliate himself in front of Yerenica. He had admitted to himself that he was here, he was back, that Yerenica was alive and with him.

_But it all still feels surreal._

“Come with me, Your Majesty.” Yerenica gleamed at him, shaking their still bonded hands up and down to convince him.

When in truth, she doesn’t need to do anything.

_Because_

“… I can never resist you.”

_Especially with those blue eyes._

He let go of her hand and jumped over the window.

_Because anything you ask, I will do it for you._

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

The urge to caress the back of her hand with his thumb was like resisting an army of a thousand men single-handed for Erudian. When she walked, her scent would follow and he would bathe in it. The smell of flowers and vanilla. The scent that he recalled when they rode Ruid together.

**_Smell of incense and candles burning. The smell of wilting flowers and-_ **

_No._ Erudian clenched his free hand. _It’s gone. That future is gone. She won’t die._ His red determined eyes went to the soft pink hair. _She won’t die._

The determination increased ten-fold when he noticed the direction of their walk. Bellyugung Palace. Erudian halted in his footsteps making Yerenica turn around and pout.

“Argh, seriously, Your Majesty, you’ll thank me in the future if you follow me.”

Erudian let out a smile, not wanting to make his princess nervous. “I have no doubt of that. But I wish to know your plans.”

“My plans?”

“Isn’t it fair that since I told you in the beginning what I had planned out for you, you would tell me the same?”

“Erk.” His Yeni let out an adorable face showing her dismay and annoyance.

_She’s here. She’s alive. Don’t worry. You’ll make sure of it._

“W-Well,” Yerenica turned to her fully, a pout on her lips as she looked down on the stone-covered path of the gardens. Both of her hands now held his making Erudian warm, comforting him in that small heat which reassured him that she was alive. “I… don’t really have a plan?”

Erudian chuckled. _You… really are an unpredictable woman, my Yeni._ “Is that so?”

His princess’ face turned red in embarrassment and her grip on him tightened. “Ah! It’s just that I wanted to spend some time with you!” the princess froze when she finished her sentence while Erudian gaped at her.

“You…” Erudian covered his smile with his free hand, hiding his smile (and hopefully the small tint of his cheeks), as to not offend the princess. But, he can’t resist teasing her. Not since he met her. “Can you repeat that for me, Princess?”

“ _What?_ ”

Erudian gulped, hiding the anxiety within him. He was new to this. These words and actions. All new. But his feelings have been there for five years and he wasn’t one to miss opportunities when they rose. “Say that again for me, Princess.”

He could still remember what she had said to him, mistaking his words for hers.

_“I simply wanted to keep Your Majesty in custody for today.”_

A pain lurched. He looked down at the flustered face of the young princess. _This time, my love, you will have me_.

 _So, please._ He pleaded silently. _Please, for me, Yeni._

His Yeni huffed, cheeks red, as she looked away, a pout on her lips. “I said I wanted to spend some time with you.” She muttered lowly. It was too small for Erudian’s liking but knowing that she did do it was enough for him.

Every moment, every word, every touch was enough for him.

_I won’t let her be in pain because of my actions again._

**_She was in pain._ **

_No. Not anymore._ Erudian reminded himself, willing the dark thoughts, the dark past, to go away. _You just have to be by her side and she will be okay._

“Very well, Princess.” He tugged her to the gates. “Let’s spend some time together.”

Erudian tried to drag her quickly, wanting to avoid Elard at all costs but he saw the princess in heels and didn’t want to hurt her. He could carry as he had done in the past many times but it might fluster her.

“Y-Your Majesty.” Yerenica called out to him nervously. “Where are we going?”

Erudian sent a small smile over his shoulder for her, gripping her hand tightly in his, before looking forward once more. Elation in his chest in being able to spend this day once more, to repeat this lovely day that he always looked back on whenever he thought of her.

“You must be bored by now of the palace grounds.”

“Ah.”

“Surely, you want to see Brashard?”

“B-Brashard?” he turned his head when he heard the breathy gasp from her lips, not stopping the journey to the gates. He wasn’t disappointed as he saw the bright look on his love’s face.

“Do you wish to see it?”

“Y-YES!” she squeeled, letting go of his hand as her hands went to grip on his arm instead, making his heart flutter in happiness. _It has been too long since I felt this._

“Diego has been telling me many things! I can’t wait to see it with my own eyes! We were so quick to enter the palace and you covered me with your cloak so I didn’t get to see much-“

Erudian would have been content to let her continue her rambling, to listen to her voice, the voice he had been longing to hear for half a decade when he saw red.

Immediately he grabbed her shoulders and hid behind a hedge of the garden.

“!” Yerenica let out a muffled sound of surprise when Erudian placed a hand over her mouth. She reached for his hand which covered her lips while the other placed itself on his raised wrist. Erudian placed his other arm around her waist, willing her to stop squirming.

“Princess,” he whispered softly, not wanting to scare her. The princess stopped her movements but she was breathing harshly from the surprise. “Forgive me for startling you but we must hide for a moment. Please cooperate.” He said lowly to her ears. To his relief, she nodded.

His eyes hardened, knowing that his Yeni won’t see it, and turned his head. Red eyes following a red figure.

Soleia Elard was in the palace. And like in the past, early for their appointment to perform her little scheme.

 _Not this time._ He glared at the woman’s back. _I won’t let you._

**[This is the beginning now, kid. What do you plan to do?]**

Erudian thought long and hard. _What do I plan to do?_

He was just so happy, so relieved, so exhilarated to have Yeni back in his arms, back to him, that he distracted himself from the reasons why Raulus sent him back.

Still, Erudian won’t let their day change, but he won’t let anything happen to Yerenica either. He had thought of dragging her to Temple immediately, but what then? But he can’t let Yeni spend time in the square where mana stones lurked and waited for her in the shadows-

Erudian’s eyes widened. How could he forget? He smirked.

 _Use them against me then._ He sent a dark smile to the woman who was now speaking with Perrik, and Erudian, this time, didn’t miss the small flicker of her wrist. _Use those blasted stones._ _Use them for your bidding and I’ll use them for mine._

…

**[… Who knew you would have such a terrifying look on your face?]**

“…” Erudian let out a silent sigh of exasperation, letting his confused Yeni go and continuing their walk. This time, an arm was around her while the other held her hand. The hand that was being pulled by the mana stone.

_It won’t happen. It won’t happen again. I’ll make sure this time._

**[H-Hey! Don’t ignore me!]**

Erudian didn’t grace his ancestor with an ancestor or acknowledge his words.

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

When the servant came back with the cloaks, Erudian immediately wrapped his Yeni in the smallest one that the servant had brought and thankfully, it was still the perfect fit that she wore years ago… Today. The thought of trying to find it the correct words is giving him a headache. _Best to stop thinking about it for now and concentrate on the matter at hand._

He finished tying the ribbon on her neck, making sure it was secure and was satisfied by his work. In the first time, he did this because wizards constantly roamed the streets and the Tower was close to the square. Letting the princess be seen by a place and people that he didn’t fully give his trust, he needed to protect her.

 _And also,_ he glanced at the princess who blinked at her cloak curiously, _she’s too eye-catching._

The thought of men staring openly at his Yeni irked him.

Erudian didn’t think about himself, the princess was more important. _And still is._ He picked up the larger cloak and wore it, pulling the hood, not waiting for the princess to force it on him but,

“Well?” he gestured to the ribbons of his cloak.

His princess blinked. “… Well, what?”

Erudian smiled fondly. “Aren’t you going to do mine?” he asked. The servant beside him staring at him wide-eyed. _Good. Stare. Spread the rumours that was bound to spread in the first place._

The princess’ snow-white face immediately went back to its red state. “ _What?!_ ” she voiced out, still her hands raised themselves, this time shaking. “A-Are you… what?”

“Please?” he tilted his head, hoping his looks will convince her. He knew she wasn’t immune to it and he used it to his advantage multiple times in the past… the future. _Whatever._

The princess bit her lower lip and went to tying his ribbon, not aware of how much attention she is putting on her lips and Erudian couldn’t help but stare. He didn’t get the opportunity before. He never knew how to do it. Well, he know. But he didn’t know how to find the perfect time, and besides,

**_I can’t push you away any further._ **

Erudian clenched his fists, lost in thought.

The distraught look on her face, the downturn of her lips, the coldness of her body.

**_Cold. Pale. Dead. Lying in a white bed of flowers-_ **

“There.” She muttered, finishing her job. “Finished.” She made the move to step away when Erudian placed his hand on her back.

“Wha-“

“In a moment.” He said, not moving. “Just for a moment.” He pulled her closer until their chests met.

Yerenica looked up, blushing and confused. “Your Majesty-“

“Just for a moment.” He wasn’t aware of the distressed look on his face or the low voice he let out.

Still, a hand went to his cheek and he closed his eyes.

_Just for a moment._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Eru is traumatized (◞ ‸ ◟ㆀ)


	8. PART VIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be some mild cursing. Please be warned.

The temptation of wrapping his arms around her was strong and it tore Erudian to pieces every time he willed to control himself. He could hear his ancestor laughing at his suffering state, urging him to do what he wanted. But Erudian wasn’t a weak man.

**[For crying out loud, it’s just a little hug. She used to hug you all the time, remember?]**

Erudian looked down on the hooded figure sitting before him, her back against his chest as they rode through the streets of Brashard on Ruid. He could sense the giddiness from the princess and smiled in fond amusement as she tried to look at everything they passed through.

She raised her hood a little and this time, Erudian didn’t stop her. _Let the people see that I am with her._ His Yerenica would not suffer the same fate as before. His Yerenica will live. His Yerenica will-

“Erk.” The princess made a sound and startling him from his thoughts. He looked down to find his princess now pulling her hood down, worrying him.

“Princess?” _Yeni,_ his heart pounded, scared, terrified, _my Yeni, what’s wrong?_ He scanned lightly his surroundings, worried wizards had seen her when she pulled her hood up. “Is something wrong?” _Is she in pain? But I’m here. What’s wrong?_ His grip on the horse’s reins tightened, the pounding of his heart getting stronger as he panicked.

_Is there something wrong with my divinity? Was it affected by the time travel?_

**[Hey, calm down-]**

_Yeni. Something is wrong with Yeni._

**[Hey!]**

_No. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Yeni is supposed to be safe with me. What’s wrong? Yeni, what’s wro-_

“It’s nothing.” His princess mumbled. “I just… I don’t like it when a lot of people look at me.”

Erudian let out a huge and audible sound of relief, making the princess turn and look up at him, a questioning look in her eyes but Erudian graced her with a small smile, hiding his internal crisis and the quickening of his heart beat to her. “Don’t worry, Princess. We’ll be off soon. They’re just staring because of Ruid.”

**[Blaming the horse…]**

Even though he reassured his princess that it was all because of the horse and their cloaks, still, the princess had raised her hood and it caught the attention of several street walkers. Pink hair was a rarity in Riker, and there was only one known person in Brashard with the hair colour.

_Princess Yereninovica. The Emperor’s hostage. The Emperor’s bride._

“I… I see.” His Yeni squirmed, pushing herself to his chest and Erudian closed his eyes for a moment, trusting Ruid as he let himself feel her against him. _She’s fine. She’s fine. She’s fine._ He repeated to himself like a mantra, calming himself. _There’s nothing wrong. She’s fine._ _She’s okay. She’s alive._

“But this is nice.” She said softly, leaning her head on his chest and Erudian had to once again combat the fluttering feeling of his heart and struggled to keep his hands from shaking, holding tightly onto the reins.

“What is?” he asked, thankful that his voice was still in control.

“The atmosphere. The hustle and noise of the people.” His princess said. “The change of scenery is also nice.”

Erudian’s heart was filled with guilt. His Yerenica was only confined to five hundred meters of the Imperial Palace while he could roam freely. _But it’s dangerous for her._ Erudian thought, fighting with his mind on what should he do. _Last time, I removed all magical artefacts on the third floor for her when Bellyugung Palace was surrounded by mana._

His gaze went back to the head leaning on chest as they arrived at the city’s stables. _Tonight, she won’t be going back to Bellyugung but to my palace instead. Avoid rather than wait for the inevitable._ Subtly, he placed his lips lightly on the hood, making sure she won’t feel his lips pressing on her head.

_This time, for sure, my Yeni. We’ll be together. I’ll make sure of that._

Erudian went down from Ruid, making sure he was stable before helping the princess off. Once his Yeni was standing, she went for her hood and lifted it.

“Your Majesty?” she blinked up at him, her eyes adjusting to the lighting and Erudian sighed. He gently pulled down the hood once more.

“Please, watch what you call me, Princess. We’re in public.”

“Oh! Then Fathe-“

“No.” he cringed. “Anything but that.” _Especially now that I have seen your father._ His eyes went down curiously to her. _But_ why _do you really call me father? I look nothing like him…_

She pouted at him as he went off to secure Ruid to one of the posts. “You say no to everything.”

Erudian stiffened, and glanced at her upset face. _Ah, please don’t make that look._ “I…” what should he say? He wanted his Yerenica to have everything she asked for but, that doesn’t mean he wanted for her to call him ‘father’. He sighed.

“I’ll… be beside you all the time so there is no need to call me with names.” He reassured her, using the same method he used before.

 _When you give me permission to call you by your name, I’ll do the same._ Erudian went back to her and offered his hand. “Shall we, Princess?”

There was a hint of hesitation on her beautiful face and Erudian could recall the reason for it as he sent a reassuring smile.

“There is no need to worry, Princess. I’m inspecting the capital as well. There’s something I need to check.” _I need to bring down that witch’s plans._

**_A silent wedding as Diego gave nervous glances at the groom. The bride in white smiling as the groom stared blankly, sealing himself to a life filled with apprehension and sadness._ **

The princess placed her hand on his and Erudian felt some divinity leave him. She then offered a meek smile. “Thank you in advance for being my tonic- ah, my shield today.” She said, gently squeezing his hand. “I’ll do my best to have fun!”

Erudian smiled. “You… did say that I will be thanking you in the future, did you not?”

“Ah. Yes?”

“Thank you.” He said and this time, he caressed the back of her hand. Thankfully, she didn’t seem to mind, instead she blushed at the action. But confusion appeared in her dazzling blue eyes.

“Thank you for what?

_For being born. For being with me. For being here. For being alive._

“You’ll see.” Erudian then dragged them off to the direction of Eugel Square. He recalled the look the princess gave him when she saw the wolf statue in the middle of the square.

_“It’s a symbol that represents you!”_

_I wonder,_ he glanced beside him, his Yerenica’s hand clasped with his, _if she will give me that smile once more._

Erudian began their tour of Brashard, telling her of the four roads branching from the Palace, their purposes, and the famous spots for it. When they finally arrived at the open area of Eugel Square, the princess’ face brightened.

**And let go of his hand.**

**_Hands he will never touch again. Hands holding a lily to her chest. Hands buried inside a cold sarcophagus, never to see the sunlight again._ **

_No!_

Erudian reached out and grabbed onto the hand that released his, hiding the other shaking hand behind him. He swallowed the fear back and looked down at his Yerenica.

“Please, don’t go off on your own, Princess.” He pleaded, eyes glancing to the sides where the first wizard appeared, unaware that his princess had noticed his restless face.

 _The wizard isn’t here yet._ He looked down to see her staring openly. _Right. She’s quick to notice things when it comes to me._

“Do you like the square?” he tried to distract her, not wanting to cause her to worry. _That’s the last thing I would want._

Immediately, his Yeni’s face brightened once more. “Oh, yes! Diego has told me all about it. He also says that the Temple is close. I wish I could see it.”

 _Diego. She called him ‘Diego’._ Erudian’s hand on her subtly tightened. _This is it. This is where she asks me to call her by her first name._

“He has given you permission to call him by his name.” he stated, wanting to continue the topic, wanting to reach the question that she once asked. And this time, he will accept her request.

_I’m not worthy enough to say it. But I can’t help it._

“Yes.” The princess nodded before blinking up at him. “… Are you jealous?”

**_“Who? Me? Towards who?”_ **

“Perhaps.” This time, this time he admitted. He didn’t realize it back then but with the pain of losing her, the pain of not being able to do so, he was able to understand what he was feeling. The small displeasure of the beginning stages of jealousy.

“Oh!” the princess wavered, clearly not expecting the answer. Before her face turned pink in embarrassment. “Your Majesty… Do you want to call me by my-“

**_A figure ran towards them, his face hidden by the hood he was wearing._ **

Erudian pulled Yerenica used their joined hands towards him and turned, making sure that the wizard don’t bump into her and pass by his back instead, his divinity covering her from the mana passing by. Yerenica’s head rested under his chin as Erudian glared at the back of the wizard’s figure. The man running away from the crowd.

The sound of marble hitting the concrete on his feet made him look down. _As expected._

Mana stones. A small object that may pull something within it, or use it to carry something.

_Yeni._

Erudian looked at the princess who was bewildered by what happened. Still, like last time, she recovered quickly without any knowledge of what happened. She made some small remark and thanked him for his quick reflexes. Erudian wished he could do the same but his heart was still pounding.

_This was where the danger began._

He noticed her shaking, unaware of the mana of the city trying to claim her.

**_Claim her life._ **

Erudian tapped her forehead and held her hand. “Shall we go?”

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

**_“Radin. Collect those mana stones.”_** He commanded, as his companion’s attention was held by a food vendor.

Erudian went back to enjoying the day with Yerenica, his eyes still glancing cautiously at the ever-passing wizards who ‘accidentally’ dropped mana stones. He paid for the kebabs that the princess ordered before his red-violet eyes caught sight of pink.

Cotton candy. He smiled, a sad fondness emitting from his chest, covering his entire body.

“Shall we buy those?” he pointed, wanting for them to eat it together this time.

“… You’re making fun of me, right?” the princess pouted, tightening her hood around her and making sure that her pink hair was hidden.

Erudian’s heart lurched in pain in seeing her insecurity. He reached out and caressed her beautiful, soft, pink hair, casually making the hood lose with his hand pushing it. “Your hair is something to be admired, Princess. It’s beautiful.” He confessed softly, taking the time in admiring the cheeks that suddenly matched the colour of her hair.

**_A pale face lying on a coffin, surrounded by a lifeless pink river._ **

_She’s alive, damn it. Stop it._ Erudian wanted to scream and shout.

Why? Just why was he constantly reminded of his faults?

“I don’t eat cotton candy.” The princess muttered shyly but still Erudian dragged them to the stand, buying a single cotton candy for them to share. His Yerenica huffed at him before taking a piece and eating it, Erudian watching with a delighted smirk as he could see how much the princess liked it, trying to hide otherwise.

His eyes went to the small object rolling towards his Yerenica and he subtly slowed his steps and pushed it away towards a holy knight with his feet. Erudian glared at the stone rolling away to the alley before he sensed his Yeni staring at him and he looked up.

His Yerenica was pouting at him in anger, mid-chew of a piece of cotton candy. Erudian glanced at the cotton candy that was in his hands. He had forgotten that he was holding the sweet for the both of them so when he slowed down, Yerenica who was about to have another bite, pinched at the empty air beside her.

Erudian hid his flinch with the help of his cloak. “… I’m sorry.”

Yerenica let out a sigh. “It’s fine. You did tell me that you were here to inspect something else. I shouldn’t be bothered.”

Guilt slammed him in the chest and Erudian quickly stepped forward. “No, don’t say that.” _Don’t._ His mind screamed. _You’re making it sound like I don’t care about you._ “I was just distracted. Shall we continue?” he gestured in front of them to where the wolf statue was now closer.

_Notice it. Notice it. Notice it. Notice it._

“Oh!” she gasped, clinging to the sleeve of his robe and pointing with her other hand. “Your Majesty, look! There’s a cross on the wolf’s back!"

Erudian hid his nervousness as he tells her. “Wolves and crosses are the symbols of Belgoat, Princess.” He explains softly, his eyes never straying from his princess who listened while looking at the statue. “It is known that Raulus, as the God of Peace and Prosperity,” _for some reason,_ “took the form of a wolf when descending to Earth.” _And sleeping with a woman._ Erudian frowned, not wanting to go there.

“The wolf symbolizes the Royal Family of Belgoat. The cross symbolizes a strong believer of Raulus within the Royal Family, the Emperor of Belgoat.”

“I see.” Yerenica awed. “Then Your Majes- I mean, Father,”

 _Ah._ He ignored the name for now as he waited with anticipation, his chest and throat impatient to see-

“It’s a symbol that represents you!”

The princess glowed. She glowed with that beautiful and radiant smile that was for him, and only him. Her cheeks flushed with the colour of her hair as her lips turned upwards, her eyes genuine despite being closed.

Erudian could hardly breathe with the sight of such beauty. He cleared his throat, a sense of euphoria overwhelming him.

_She’s here. She’s alive. She’s safe._

Erudian breathed.

“Well then,” he enveloped her hand in his, “Would you like to see it more closer?

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

“Wah!” Yerenica gasped, her hand dragging Erudian now as she pointed to the statue behind her. Erudian stared in a daze at the glimmering beauty, the eyes that were open, the skin that wasn’t pale like death, the hair that wasn’t lifeless.

_And the warm hand in his._

_The warm hand._

**_Hands he will never touch again._ **

“Belgoat is so much bigger compared to Lebovny!” she said with a loud voice that Erudian snapped out of it, frustrated with himself that his thoughts keep haunting, distracting him from Yerenica.

“Everything is so small, after all. The palace-“

**_A palace in the middle of the city; dark, silent, cold._ **

“-the houses,-“

**_All of the houses hung black banners with the symbol of the Lebovnyan Royal Family._ **

“-the roads!”

**_The road was crowded with people wanting to have a final glimpse of their princess-_ **

The ringing of his ears disappeared when Yerenica smiled at him more. “Ah! You saw our palace last time, right?”

 _Last time._ Erudian froze, his body going cold. _Last time I went there, it was for a funeral._ _Your funeral_.

**_-has passed away-_ **

“-Palace. What did you think?”

Erudian shook himself out of his trance. _Yerenica asked me a question._ _Right the question. What do I think of the palace?_

**_A hall filled with warmth despite death lingering in the corner. A pastel-blue room where he grieved._ **

“It was small,” he let out making Yeni pout. “but it has its own charm.”

**_Flowers for the dead. Flowers for Yerenica._ **

_Stop. Just stop it._

He could feel Raulus’ eyes on him but he ignored it. He ignored it because his attention was on Yeni.

“Ah, you’re just saying that to make me feel better.” She pouted at him, looking away, her eyes suddenly turning bright. “Oh, look!”

He looked behind him instead when he heard the familiar sound. The sound of a mana stone. He wouldn’t be able to roll it away without Yeni catching his actions so he stepped on it instead, making it look like he was going to a certain direction.

 _This isn’t safe anymore._ Erudian thought darkly. _There are more stones now than before._

Erudian knew that he could protect Yerenica but even he knew when it was time to be more prepared.

“We’re going to the Temple.” He declared to the princess looking at the direction where the temple was.

**[It’s about time.]**

Erudian ignored him once again.

“I believe you mentioned about wanting to see it. Right, Princess?” he turned his head and froze upon seeing the empty spot behind him. He turned his whole body and scanned his surroundings, fear and panic lacing his gut. “Princess?” he called a little more loudly.

But she wasn’t there and she wasn’t responding. She wasn’t with him anymore.

**_She was dead._ **

_NO!_

Erudian started to look for his princess, moving between people, scanning for a black cloak.

 _Damn it!_ His reddish-violet gaze surveyed the square but there were just too many people. _And her pink hair couldn’t be seen._

 _Nonononononononono._ He couldn’t breathe. His heart pounded as if he ran for a thousand miles.

He twisted his head. The statue!

 _Yeah._ Erudian made his way to the statue. _She wanted to see the statue. She liked it. She said it represents me. Yeni should be there. Yeni is-_

But she wasn’t there.

Erudian placed a cold and sweating hand on his forehead. _Oh, Raulus._

**[Hey, she’s fine. She’s-]**

“No,” Erudian whispered, wide eyes looking at his feet in panic. “No. No. No.”

**[H-Hey, are you okay?]**

“Yeni.” He managed to speak out. “Yeni, she’s gone. She was here. But she’s gone.” He muttered to himself.

_Oh, Raulus. Yeni, where are you?_

**[Yeni? Oh, Crumbs. She’s right here, calm down.]**

“Where?” Erudian lifted his head but the hood got in front of his eyes. He scowled and took it off, revealing his silver hair to the crowd, stopping at the sight of it.

“Oh my!”

“The Emperor!”

“Your Majesty!”

**[Hey, idiot! What are you doing?!]**

_Yeni. Yeni, where are you?_ He looked and looked but couldn’t find her-

**_Pink hair._ **

Erudian froze, his eyes stopping at the pink hair.

**_Pink hair that was dead and lifeless. Pink hair that flowed like a silent river. Pink hair that is buried inside a sarcophagus._ **

He ran. He ran and ran to the pink hair.

His love. His lifeline.

**_Pink hair that was gone. Pink hair that was dead. Pink hair that he will never touch again. Pink hair that he will never see again._ **

“Do you think it looks good on-“

“YERENICA!” he shouted and the pink hair swayed.

Blue eyes meeting red.

**_Eyes that were closed. Eyes he would never be able to see the shine again._ **

“YERENICA!”

“Your Majesty? Wha-“

Erudian grabbed her by the shoulder and immediately engulfed her in his embrace, his mind and heart racing to their limit as he placed a hand behind her head while the other wrapped itself around her waist.

“Oh, thank Raulus.” He panted, nose and lips going to her hair.

_Vanilla,_

**_Incense._ **

_Roses._

**_Lilies._ **

_And honey._

**_She’s dead._ **

_She’s alive. She’s alive._

Erudian crushed her tighter.

“Your Majesty?” Yerenica sputtered. “What… What is going on? Are you okay?” she said patting his back as her hair flowed out from her cloak with his movements on her hair, caressing it, making sure it was lifeless and not

**_Dead._ **

_No._

Erudian pulled from his embrace to see those eyes. They were open, they were alive, they were blue.

“Where were you?” he asked, fear and panic in his voice. His hands were on her shoulders as he looked her from head to toe. _She’s fine. She’s fine. She’s fine._ “I turned around and you were gone! Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I-…” the princess blinked up at him in surprise and confusion. “I did. I said I wanted to see the jewelleries and hair ornaments.”

“What….” Erudian glanced behind her and saw the stand where they went to, where he bought everything just for her, where he bought the silver earrings without knowing. He let out a sigh, head lowered in exhaustion.

“A-Are you alright? What happened? You didn’t follow me?”

Erudian frowned at her. “Did it seem like I followed you?”

“Ah…” Yerenica looked down guiltily, her hands fidgeting as she bit her lip. “Sorry.” She murmured, looking upset and Erudian cursed himself.

_No. Don’t apologize to me like that._

Erudian placed a hand on her cheek while the other held her right hand, _her right hand which was still okay_. He lifted her face and his princess, his Yeni looked at him with regretful eyes.

“No. I’m sorry.” He let out, caressing her cheeks. “I wasn’t aware of my surroundings and I was distracted. Don’t apologize.” He said before lowering his head, his forehead meeting hers. He closed her eyes and just felt the relief overwhelm his body.

His Yerenica was here. His Yerenica was alive. His Yerenica was safe.

“Just…” he let out, voice choked up. “Please, don’t go where I can’t follow you.” He begged.

With his eyes still closed, he didn’t see the confused yet warm gaze that his love gave to her.

“Alright. I won’t, Your Majesty.”

Erudian shook his head, pulling away and met her eyes. Her warm eyes.

“Erudian.”

“What?”

“I called you by your name. Please, call me by mine.” He pleaded.

_Please, call me by my name. You never did it before. Please._

His Yerenica stared at him for a moment before letting out a smile brighter than when she saw the statue and claimed it was something that represented him.

“Alright, Erudian.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my, Eru is so traumatized. I like it. mWahahahahahahha. But still, here's some fluff to the court of trial lmao.


	9. PART IX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the long wait. Hope you will enjoy this fluffy chapter since some of you need it apparently. HAHAHA

“A-All of it?”

Erudian nodded at his Yerenica before returning his attention to the female vendor. “Please pack everything and send it to the Imperial Palace. One of the guards will escort you to a man named Perrik and he will be handling the payment.” Erudian said as he asked for a piece of paper and gave him her signature.

His reddish-violet gaze landed on the pair of earrings in her merchandise. Erudian’s heart thundered in his chest.

**_Silver cross on her chest, intricate designs surrounding the ruby at its centre. The jewellery gave off one shine from the sun before the sarcophagus was sealed, keeping his Yerenica inside, never to see the light of day again._ **

“Erudian?” He was pulled away from his thoughts as a hand landed on his chest. Erudian looked down to see a confused and thinking look in his princess and he shook his head.

“It’s fine. It’s nothing.” He reached out his hand and took the silver earrings. “I’ll take these with me if you don’t mind.” Erudian said, placing the earrings inside his coat pocket, close to his chest.

“A-Ah. Yes, of course. Thank you, Your Majesty.” The vendor stuttered, packaging all her merchandise, as everyone’s eyes were on the two people at the centre of attention. One with silver hair and the other with pink.

Erudian turned his warm gaze to Yerenica, his arm wrapped around her waist to make sure she won’t leave his sight again without any warning. The heart attack he just went through was too much. The princess in his arm was eyeing the various stones and jewellery on the other stands.

**[Come on, come here already!]**

His eyes went to the direction the temple would be and glared at it, annoyed by his ancestor’s impatience. _But who am I to judge?_ Erudian turned his eyes to his Yerenica who was inspecting stones, her blue eyes scanning the stones, shining from their reflected light. _After four years of not seeing her, I would be impatient as well._

Now that he had calmed down, a bit, he could now sense the stares from the crowd behind them, hear the whispers and he prepared himself internally. _This is fine._ Erudian caressed the princess’ hip, his mind too occupied to notice the small shudder from her body and the embarrassed blush on her face. _I’m doing this to change the future._

“Oh.” Yerenica touched a rose quarts. “Cute.” She whispered, a small smile on her face as she poked at it with a finger. Erudian smiled at the sight, his heart warm and full, replacing the distress and anxiety that was there minutes ago when he had lost sight of his princess.

“Do you want it?” he asked, lowering his silver head to hers. “I’ll buy it for you.”

“N-No!” Yerenica looked up at him, a pout on her cute face. “You already bought so many things, I can’t ask for more.”

Erudian shook his head. _You deserve so many more._ He leaned his head down so that his lips would be by her ear, smiling when his princess’ pink cheeks turning red.

“Yerenica.” he called out softly. This would be the first time that he had called her name without worry, not her true name though, but an intimate name, a shortened name that should only be used by her family and her spouse.

 _This time,_ he tightened his hold gently on her hip, _this time it will be you, my love, my Yeni._

He didn’t want to think of that witch who manipulated him to marry her, bed her, and name her Empress.

“Y-Yes?” Erudian smiled at her small whisper, embarrassed.

“Anything you ask for, I will buy it for you, you know that, right?” he pulled away to look at her when she turned to him. She had a look of confusion, shyness and astonishment.

“W-What are you saying?” Yerenica held the ear he had whispered in, looking down at his chest instead of meeting his eyes. “Eugh, His Majesty has been acting strange all day.”

Erudian ignored the small clench of his chest but understood where she was going with this. From the cold, elusive emperor that she had met who avoided her at all costs, he showers her with attention today and was… clingy and touchy. For her, he might have been an entirely new person who was wearing the Emperor’s face.

“I’m…” he was about to apologize but the princess turned from his grip and held his right hand.

“But still, I’m thankful for everything that you are doing.” She smiled. “Even though it was Lebovny that broke the agreement, even though I am a burden to you and everyone in the Imperial Palace, everyone still stays by my side.”

Erudian flinched at her words. He frowned at her gently and played with her precious pink hair. “Don’t say that,” he muttered. “As I said, you are a guest of Lebovny and I will take care of you. You are an important person to everyone in the palace no matter the situation, Yerenica.” He then turned their hands so this time it was his holding hers. “And please, call me Erudian.”

The princess smiled at him, and Erudian hoped and prayed to everything above him that that smile will be given to him until he takes his last breath.

“Princess!” a vendor called out and they looked at the direction of the sound where a merchant now carried a roll of white silk with gold embroidery and designs. “Please, accept this as a gift from the Merchant’s Guild.”

“O-Oh!” Yerenica placed a hand in her mouth in shock, her right still in Erudian’s grip who secretly smiled at the sight. It would seem that the people are quick to realize who will be their future empress.

“P-Princess! As a citizen of Belgoat, please take this humble offering as a welcome to our empire!”

“Princess, as a member of House Goldsworth, please accept this invitation to join us for some tea.”

A crowd has now encircled the both of them and the princess drew back to Erudian’s side. The emperor quickly wrapping his left arm around the startled princess as she pressed herself against him, overwhelmed from the crowd now standing before them.

The vendors were offering gifts while the nobility who were in the square quickly tried to introduce themselves, inviting the princess to tea parties and balls they will be hosting. Erudian just smiled at them and accepted their gifts, telling them to send it to the palace with a note so that they will be remembered. He had to gently placate the nobles with invitations. Erudian was still hesitant with letting Yerenica out and if she does, he needs to be beside her.

“Please accept this simple necklace, Princess.” Erudian’s eyes went to a hooded figure who held a black necklace. It would have been nothing if it weren’t for a lone black mana stone, the mana twirling within.

“Oh,” the princess let out softly, reaching out for the necklace. “How pretty.” Erudian looked down to find his princess in a daze, as if she wasn’t aware of herself and her movements, no longer conscious of the crowd before her.

_“It dragged me toward it. Almost as if it wanted me to touch it...”_

**_It nearly dragged her to an early grave. It nearly dragged her to an early death._ **

**_Pale face, lifeless hair._ **

**_Dead. Gone. Dead._ **

Erudian quickly wrapped his arm around her front, grabbed the princess’ hand with his right, and drew it back, startling the princess and the wizard while the crowd still spoke, not noticing what just conspired. Erudian just stared at the wizard, not wanting to frighten to the crowd but the wizard clearly received the message.

**I know who you are.**

“If you want black pearls, Yerenica, I will buy it for you.” He smiled at the still confused princess who slowly snapped out of her trance. He looked back at the wizard, a dangerous smile on his face this time. “As I said, please send all your gifts for Princess Yereninovica to the Imperial Palace where you will be compensated for them, _wizard._ ” He said the last part lowly and the boy flinched before bowing and scurrying away like the rat he was.

“Erudian?” the princess whispered, back to being mindful of the crowd surrounding them as she snuggled closer to his side.

Erudian calmed his heart before offering a relaxed smile to his princess. “Shall we head to the temple?” Erudian asked, gently pushing through the crowd, bowing his head in acknowledgement to those who greeted him, arm wrapped around his princess’ shoulder to keep her from bumping into anyone.

The crowd gently parted offering their greetings and well wishes to which the princess reddened but the emperor didn’t refute or correct.

“The temple?”

“You did say that you wanted to go earlier.” He scanned the square before calling out, “ **Eligard, get Ruid for me.** ”

He then led towards the centre of the square, behind them some of the nobles and commoners still following the princess and introducing themselves, giving flowers and name cards. The princess tried to accept as many as she could, Erudian taking them from her hands and placing them inside his pocket, he glared at the men who ogled at his Yeni. Some of them turning away while the others didn’t notice, much to his annoyance.

While the princess was a tad bit distracted, Erudian voiced out more commands. “ **Rugier, Sulliver, seal off the square. Radin, contact the Magic Tower.** ” He will be having a few words with not only Rosel, but this time with Elard as well.

The princess gently thanked a child who gave her some flowers, accepting them and placing the white rose in her hair. Erudian flinched at the sight of it, reminding him of

**_Marching soldiers. Solemn beating of the drums. Women weeping. The faint incense in the air._ **

He was tempted to rip it from her hair but it was undeniable that with the princess’ beauty, the white rose matched her hair. Erudian frowned at himself, wondering if he will be forever haunted by the image of his princess dead and everything that reminded him of that would trigger him.

 _I need to talk to you, don’t I?_ He huffed at the direction of the temple.

Eligard finally arrived, in his hands was the reins of Ruid. The crowd parted for the Holy Knight, the loud voices turning into simple chatter. Erudian held the princess’ shoulder, taking her attention from the children (and men, to his vexation).

“Yes?”

“Let’s go.” He then lifted her in his arms, to the awe of the crowd and to the surprise of the princess, and gently placed her on the back of Ruid. Erudian followed and sat behind her, the princess waving shyly to those who said their farewells.

Erudian glanced down to the knight. “Go and join the others.” He ordered and the man bowed before leaving. Erudian turned his attention back to the crowd and offered them a nod of his head. “Thank you all for your kindness.” He said before pushing Ruid to walk.

**[About time, geez.]**

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

They wouldn’t be stopped by the priest this time as Erudian kept his hood down as well as Yerenica’s, her rose-scented hair fluttering in the wind and basking Erudian with it. He narrowed lightly the gap of his arms so that they would touch the princess’ who kept her hands on his arm, eyes taking in the surroundings.

Erudian chose not to rush Ruid this time as danger was not that imminent. The princess was frightened the last time because of it and he didn’t want that to happen once again. Erudian lowered his head, his chin landing on the princess’ forehead, not that she minded as she leaned back towards him, her eyes closing and Erudian remembered her words.

_“But this is nice… The atmosphere. The hustle and noise of the people.” His princess said. “The change of scenery is also nice.”_

_Did I make you feel like a prisoner in the Palace?_ He looked down at the pink hair below him, the princess in a relaxed state as they strolled through the city calmly, ignoring the looks of the people they passed by, the whispers nothing but wind for their ears as they stayed in their own world.

_And I want to stay like this forever._

The temple was now in sight, with it residing in a hill and elevated as well, one might perhaps see it from the Imperial Palace, no matter the distance. Erudian urged Ruid to go a bit faster, his Yerenica now gazing at the temple with wonder.

“How pretty.” She commented and Erudian hid his smile on her head. Before the worry sank in.

 **[Ha! She likes it. See how great my temple is, mortal?]** Erudian ignored his ancestor's proud noise.

Again, this will be her first time entering the temple, which meant she will feel the pure and raw divinity there surround her.

 _I’ll be there for her like I did last time._ He made sure of it.

“Y-Your Majesty?!” the priest stuttered upon seeing him, his curious and nervous eyes going to the princess who smiled timidly.

“We’ll be going through.” He mutters and the priest nods quickly, letting them pass as Yerenica calls out her goodbye.

Erudian’s nerves were a wreck when they reached one of the temple buildings. This was where he had previously left Yerenica. Although he didn’t want to do the same again, he needed to look over the square, talk with the Tower, and finally, speak with Raulus about his thoughts.

“Yerenica,” he called softly, warning her about what is going to happen. “The moment you step on the temple floor, you will feel the divinity rush to you. But, it’s fine. You’ll recover immediately. It’s just something that happens to everyone who comes here for the first time.” He quickly reassured her when he saw that frightened look on her face.

“O-Okay.” She said reaching out to him and Erudian picked her up from the horse.

He held her in his arms for a while. “Ready?” he asked and the princess nodded quickly before Erudian placed her gently on the ground, not letting go of her arms.

“Ugh!” His Yerenica collapsed on him and Erudian hugged her, comforting her by patting and caressing her back. “Hic!”

“Take deep breaths, Yerenica.” He soothed as she clung to him. “Deep breaths and exhale slowly.”

He could feel her breaths against his collar, the harshness of it and tightened his grip on her, waiting patiently for her body to adjust. He would rather have her like this than hear her scream in pain from being exposed to mana.

_“Something’s wrong with Bellyugung Palace!”_

_No. Never again._ He caressed her hair which somehow shone brighter in the presence of divinity. _Never again._

“Breathe, Yerenica, Breathe.” He advised gently as he heard some choking sounds from her. They had done this before but after everything that Erudian had been through, every little detail somehow petrified him now.

The princess then stiffened and lightly pulled away, her hand still gripping his arm. “Oh… I’m fine now.”

Smiling in relief, Erudian loosed the tie around her neck. “Can you walk? Was it stuffy?”

**[Geez, she's fine. And how long are you going to keep ignoring me?]**

“I-I can and y-yes, a little…?” His Yeni whispered, trying to fix her messy hair while Erudian continued to stare at his princess.

Flushed cheeks, lively hair, and sky-blue eyes that sparkled when the sun shone down on her.

 _My Yerenica. My Yeni._ Erudian reached out and caressed the hair which encircled her face. _I will keep you by my side, even if I have to destroy the tower, even if I have to go to war for you, I will._

“Erudian…?” the princess called out and Erudian took her hand, checking it for a moment to make sure it wasn’t what he had remembered it to be. Red, swollen, and full of mana.

 _She’s safe._ He breathed out. _She’s fine._

“Come,” Erudian offered his hand and his Yeni held it immediately. “Let’s go visit Schumart.”

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

As the lone heir to the throne, Erudian had been the subject of attention ever since he was a child. Over the years, it grew and grew and so did he, making him immune to it when he was crowned Emperor of the Belgoat Empire.

So when they walked down the white halls of the temple, heading to where Diego should be, Erudian ignored all the eyes that was on him from the people in the public area, both nobility and commoners alike. Unfortunately, the same could not be said for his princess.

Yerenica stuck to his arm like glue, hiding her face from the people who seemed enamoured with her shy nature and her rare beauty. While the princess was not the first one to have pink hair and there are others in the world who has it, it couldn’t be denied that it was rare, especially in the continent and this one was a princess at that and a beauty.

With the unique combination of pink and blue, no one could ignore the ethereal enchantress before him.

“Stay close to me, Yerenica.” Erudian whispered to her and the princess nodded, clinging to his arm with both hands and keeping her face hidden with the sleeves of his cloak.

“I-Is that His Majesty?”

“Oh my goodness, it is.”

Erudian recognized that voice and lightly peeked from the corner of his eyes. There was a group of noblewomen crowding by the open gardens of the temple, gossiping with each other and he saw one familiar woman in the middle of it all.

 _Countess Iven._ Erudian glanced down to his princess who was still uncomfortable with all the scrutiny she was getting. _She became friends with Yerenica when she came to the temple before the envoys came._

Erudian’s mood dropped at the thought of his Yerenica leaving Belgoat once again, without any contact between them, without hearing her voice, seeing her face, without knowing anything about her.

**_Except for her death._ **

Erudian nearly choked up at the memory of his aid bringing him the solemn news that

**_“-Princess Yerenica Susuvia Lebovny, second princess of the Kingdom of Lebovny, has passed away.”_ **

**_“I’m so sorry, Your Majesty.”_ **

**_“She always talked about you.”_ **

**_“She loved you, Your Majesty.”_ **

“Your Majesty?” a soft voice called for him, “Erudian?”

Erudian stared blankly at his princess, his vision blurry at first as an ache appeared in his head. He groaned and clutched at it, then feeling cold hands hold his face.

It was all he needed as his vision cleared, red eyes meeting blue.

“Are you okay?” she asked, concern evident in her face. “Are you in pain? What’s wrong?” she asked worriedly and Erudian shook his head, hand falling from his forehead to hold hers.

“It’s nothing. I’m fine. Let’s go find Schumart.”

He held her hand as they walked to Schumart’s office where the man would be waiting for them as he had informed him. He could feel the princess’ gaze on him, distressed and bewildered.

He knocked on a mahogany door and it opened momentarily.

There stood before them the head priest and soon-to-be Archbishop of the Temple of Raulus, Diego Schumart.

_“I’m so sorry, Your Majesty.”_

“Schumart.” He nodded his head while beside him, his Yeni smiled at one of her friends in the empire.

“Diego! It’s so good to see you.”

The priest smiled and bowed his head, “Your Majesty, Your Highness, welcome to the Temple. Is there something I can do for you?”

“Actually,” Erudian spoke before Yerenica could. He could sense that his princess wanted to tell her friend about her adventures in the square but Erudian wanted him to do something for him first. “I need you to watch over the Princess for a while until I return.”

“What?” both of them questioned, staring at him in surprise in confusion, more on the princess’ part.

“I need to oversee something back in the square.” He gave the princess a reassuring smile. “It’s nothing big, I assure you. I just need to see to it that all of your gifts will be sent. Some nobles there perhaps may have been upset as well with how I handled everything back there when they were greeting me.” he lied naturally.

He didn’t want her to constantly be anxious, waiting for him to return as she had previously.

“W-What, but…” the princess clung to his cloak and Erudian removed it, not seeing its use anymore. He gave it to her.

“I trust you can keep this safe for me while I go back?” he smiled. Erudian turned to Schumart who was staring at the two of them. “I know that you will be able to keep her company, Schumart.”

“Ah, yes, of course, Your Majesty.”

“Erudian-“

The priest blinked at how the princess addressed Erudian while he just smiled softly, caressing one of her long bangs which hung on her face.

“I’ll be fine and I’ll be back before you know it.”

Blue eyes meeting red.

Unable to resist himself anymore, Erudian bent down and pressed his lips on the princess’ forehead, hearing her gasp of surprise and Erudian smiled.

“I’ll see you later, Yerenica.” He said tenderly before letting go of her hair reluctantly and leaving the temple.


	10. PART X

Erudian’s face hardened once he arrived at the square and spotted three holy knights standing beside Rosel with the wizard he had seen earlier, and on the other side of Rosel was a woman he didn’t want to see.

Soleia Elard.

**_“-we wouldn’t want something to happen to the young princess now, don’t we?”_ **

A fierce hate blossomed in his chest and he glowered at the woman who sent an easy smile upon seeing his expression while Rosel and the young wizard trembled. _As they should be._

Erudian could never forget the hesitance that Rosel gave him when he questioned about the events. Previously, he had pardoned the boy because of the few numbers they had in Belgoat and he understood their importance.

_But I won’t tolerate anyone harming Yerenica this time._

He got down from Ruid and headed to the three waiting by wolf statue, where just hours ago he sees his Yerenica smiling at him once more, where he lost her and got her back. But watching these three standing by it felt like they were staining it with their filthy magic.

**[Calm down, I can feel your rage.]**

“ ** _Well?_** ” he snarled.

**[Ah, I said calm down.]**

“We found fourteen stones in total, Your Majesty.” Radin reported. “Ten while you and Her Highness was here, four afterwards. The fifteenth you destroyed as it was too close.”

Erudian’s hands trembled as he clenched them, his fists shaking in anger as he glared at the wizards and witch in front of them. The young apprentice immediately kneels before him and apologizes but Erudian is not having any of it. He was let go last time, he won’t this time again. He’ll make sure the little brat knows his place.

“Take him to the dungeons.” He said roughly to Rugier who stepped forward and grabbed the boy. “I don’t want to see his face in front of me.”

“Y-Your Majesty!” the young wizard calls out as he is pushed away but Erudian ignores him, dwelling in the small satisfaction that he felt when Rosel’s face paled and Soleia’s eyes widened before returning to her slimy, smiling face.

**_“Your Majesty, we must give you an heir-“_ **

_Disgusting._ The memory of his wedding night always made Erudian want to vomit. _This time, I swear…_

“Your Majesty,” Rosel began, “Isn’t that a bit too harsh? The young man clearly apologized-“

“So crimes now can be pardoned by a mere apology by my feet?” Erudian scoffed at the man, “Am I so simple like that? What do you think of me? A man who can easily turn away such a crime?”

“Crime?” this time, Elard spoke, her silver tongue making Erudian’s eyes tingle. “What crime is that boy being punished for?” she smiled at him. She thinks Erudian doesn’t have anything on his sleeve.

Erudian smirked darkly at the red-haired woman. “What crime? Let’s see, endangering the royal family of Lebovny, a guest of the Emperor? Oh, what else?” his smirk turned down into a glower, his red eyes glowing despite the sun still in the sky, “Careless conduct to the people of Belgoat and the Princess of Lebovny?”

“S-Such crimes cannot warrant for imprisonment-“ Rosel tried to speak but Erudian focused on Elard.

“And also, I wish to see if the rumours I have been hearing are correct,” his eyes on Elard’s, wanting to laugh at the small tremble in them. “That black magic is happening in the Tower of Belgoat.”

“W-What a rumour! Such a-accusations, my Lord!”

“Accusations they may be but as Emperor, I must make sure that that crime is punished and we all know what punishment that is.” Erudian never removed his gaze from the woman who’s eyes darkened. “I may have been too lenient to the Tower, and to you, Lady Elard, as well.” He then tilted his head as an amused smile appeared on his face.

“Also, isn’t that young wizard your student?”

“…”

“What is that to say for yourself?” he turned away from those people, having seen and heard enough of them, “One more move and I will cleanse the Tower with all I have, you can trust me on that.”

**[You’re changing a lot of things this time, kid.]**

“This is better than last time that’s for sure.” He muttered underneath his breath as he got on Ruid, sending one stare at Elard before turning his horse around to head back to the temple.

His Yerenica was waiting for him.

**[Are you sure you’re ready to deal with that? Even I don’t know what’s going on especially with mana involved.]**

“That’s fine.” He responded, urging his steed to go faster, to go get closer to his princess. “I’ll be prepared this time.”

**[… Well, at least you’re talking to me.]**

“…”

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

The temple was… crowded when he had returned. No doubt the news of the Emperor being there with the Princess of Lebovny. Erudian huffed and tried to hide, using a priest’s robe he had found in some room that was discarded. He pulled the hood and walked towards Diego’s room where he knew his Yerenica would stay to avoid the crowd.

“Where is the Emperor and the Princess?”

“What do you think they are doing here together?”

“Didn’t a maid say that His Majesty takes care of the Princess?”

“There was a rumour in the Imperial Palace that he plans on making her his bride.”

“Is that the reason that they came here?”

“Oh, my a wedding?”

“A secret wedding?”

“What an assumption, Lady Joanne!”

“But not impossible.”

Erudian pouted lightly at the suggestion of the rumour. _If only._ He knew if he were to marry Yerenica, his marriage, his life, it would be filled with joy and happiness for the both of them. And that was something Erudian wanted more than anything in the world.

His last marriage… Erudian felt like he was going to get sick just at the thought of it. He was immensely grateful that Elard conceived on their first and only night together in the Empress’ room.

And in the next two years of their marriage, Erudian never stepped there again. Never slept in the same bed with her even. Once he had done his duty as husband and emperor, he left the quarters not even bothering to talk or look at her.

It was cruel and rude of her, but Soleia knew it. She knew that their marriage would be one without love or comfort and went with it anyway. Forced him into doing so to protect the only thing that mattered to him the most, his princess, his Yerenica, his Yeni.

**_Who died after suffering for four years. The same amount of years he suffered as well, longing to see her, hear her, touch her, feel her-_ **

“Eugh.” He covered his mouth with a hand while the other placed itself on the wall to support him.

 **[Hey, what’s wrong with you?]** Raulus asks in his head. **[You have a headache?]**

Erudian glanced at his surroundings, wanting to see if anyone is close to him to hear. He saw no one and the crowd was still in the temple gardens, worship not yet starting. He gulped down the bile rising. “I just feel sick.”

**[Sick? Hey, you can’t die yet. You’ve got no children!]**

Erudian’s eye twitched as he composed himself and straightened the clothes of his disguise. “Is that really important right now? It was only some small nausea.”

**[If you don’t have kids, I can’t be brought down to Earth.]**

Erudian rolled his eyes and continued on his path. “You didn’t have that problem a thousand years ago. You can just come back and have another child then.”

**[Let’s not go there, shall we? And hey, go to the prayer room. We need to talk.]**

“There’s nothing to talk about and I don’t want to go there. Too many people.” He said, nearing the hallway where the priests’ quarters were.

**[Yes, there is. Your little panicking in the square as well as what the hell is going on inside your head.]**

“…”

 **[Got you. And let’s use the priest’s prayer room, don’t we?]** Erudian could hear the smug tone of his ancestor and rubbed his forehead.

“Fine. But this better be quick.”

Much to his frustration, it took every ounce of strength he had to turn away from the hallway of the quarters and to the opposite one where the priests’ prayer room was located. He didn’t really need to look hard because of the gold lines which indicated the direction of the isolated room.

“Someone says they heard the Emperor and the Princess going into Priest Schumart’s room.”

“Do you think they are taking their wedding vows there?”

A group of women then giggled while Erudian imagined a life where that could happen.

Instead or red hair walking down the aisle, he sees pink. The red roses became pink. Everything red became pink. The elaborate white gown transformed into a beautiful, elegant laced dress. The confident smile became a loving one.

And black became blue.

**[You’re passing, idiot!]**

Erudian stopped and realized he had walked past the priests’ prayer room.

**{I don’t think I need to know what you were even talking about seeing that dreamy look on your face.]**

Erudian rolled his eyes and tried pushing the door open. It was locked. “Great, now what?”

**[Don’t you know who I am? I am the owner of this temple!]**

And with that, the great golden doors opened for him while Erudian just stared with unimpressed eyes. He stared at the wolf statue by the altar with a blank face.

“The real owner of the temple is the Emperor of Belgoat, me, who is also the head of the temple. Just because the place carries your name doesn’t mean it’s yours.”

And he was right, of course. Though the religion may be under Raulus and the temple supervised by the archbishop and the priests, it was the Emperor of Belgoat who owns the land and the temple. He was the one who assigns archbishops, the one who decides the festivals, and the one who controls the Temple of Raulus.

“But thank you for choosing this as your main temple and for blessing the land with the most divinity.”

Erudian knew how gratitude works.

**[… Just… Get in.]**

Erudian huffed and entered the silent prayer room and didn’t mind the door closing behind him. Inside, he could feel the raw and powerful divinity of the room. He could see the gold and silver objects for his ancestor and by the corner, a painting sealed by a curtain.

 **[Want to look?]** Erudian sighed, running a hand through his hair as he removed the hood in the silent area.

“No, I’m good.” He then crossed his arms, staring at the statue in front of him which held gemstone eyes, bearing the same colour as his. “Now what is it that you wanted to talk about? I thought I told you this better be quick.”

Suddenly, something hit the back of his head and Erudian lurched forward, managing to hold himself before falling. In his shock, he held the back of his head and stared wide-eyed at the statue.

“Did you just-“

**[Look at this disrespectful, child. Didn’t anyone tell you that you should respect your elders?]**

“You really just-“

**[Is this the thanks that I get after bringing you back? Hmph!]**

The statue didn’t move any inch at all but Erudian swore that it almost looks like it’s pouting.

 _… What a childish god._ He rubs the back of his head, giving the wolf statue an impassive look. It’s not like he can get angry with the god and besides… he did bring him back.

_Back to where my Yeni still lives. Back to when I was happy._

“… Thank you.”

Erudian really did know how gratitude works.

**[Ah, I guess I’ll accept that for now. And don’t you have something to say? Something else?]**

Erudian looked away from the statue, feeling the stare coming from those purple-red ruby eyes. He could feel them boring into his skin, peering into his soul, seeking for the truth. It’s… kind of disturbing how a statue made him feel like a little child, frightened of admitting the truth.

**[You’re not going to tell me?]**

The emperor was silent for a moment, pondering over his decision. He looked back to the statue, the purple-red ruby eyes gleaming. He sighed and rubbed his forehead.

“What can I even say when I don’t understand it myself?” he began, “And can we not talk about it for now? It has been a hectic day. Technically,… I just went to a funeral.” He looked down, remembering the events of the day… of the day that never happened yet.

**_A sarcophagus sealing, a body never seeing the light of day again._ **

Erudian clenched his fists. _No._ He breathed out. _She’s here and she’s alive._

**[I can see you thinking, I can see your struggling. Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?]**

Erudian paused, eyes opening to look at his hand. The hand she held, the hand that

**_Threw the flower._ **

Erudian clenched it, closing his eyes. “No. Not yet, at least.”

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

Erudian explored the temple gardens silently, his mind running as he thought of everything, preparing for any possibility that could happen. Raulus was right, he had changed many things, from exposing themselves to the public, to speaking with the people of the Tower directly, imprisoning a wizard,

_And letting Elard know that I am onto her._

Erudian was tempted to go to the Diego’s room where he knew Yerenica would be alone right now, but his blasted ancestor had plans for her he said and told him not to interfere, and to let her sleep and rest. Erudian stood momentarily outside the door, guarding her in case anything happens or someone enters the room unexpectedly.

But after being spotted by one of the priests, Erudian just walked around the temples, making sure to lock the door so that no one could enter and only Yerenica and Diego could unlock it.

The gardens were silent as the worship had begun, and he had no desire to join them lest he be recognized by the people inside the public prayer room. Erudian had seen the large crowd of nobility and commoners, hoping to catch a glimpse of their emperor and his supposed princess bride.

Erudian rubbed his neck before pausing and rubbing the back of his head.

_That really hurt._

**_She was in pain._ **

Erudian stopped his stroll in the darkened gardens, staring blankly at the grass covered pavements. His hands tightening in his frustration.

 _These… damned thoughts._ Erudian clutched his head and closed his eyes. _Do I have to comfort myself with the thought of her still alive?_ Erudian opened his eyes, his hand lowered to his chest, clutching at in when pain emerged from it.

_Clack. Clack. Clack._

Erudian lifted his head upon hearing the sound and sees pink hair and white dress. He blinked at the sight of her loose hair which flowed freely as she moved, the moonlight somehow reflecting from it.

_Clack. Clack. Clack._

Erudian hid behind one of the great pillars of the empty garden and watched silently as his princess entered the same area, unaware of his presence and unaware of him following her. He sighed at her lack of self-awareness. He needs to assign a guard to her if that is the case.

Erudian kept his steps silent as he followed her lithely, moving behind pillars softly and blinked when he saw her following the gold ribbons heading to the priests’ prayer room. He was about to step out of the shadows when she jumped surprising him and making him retreat.

“… I’m the only one here though.” She muttered to himself. Erudian quietly sighed. He will really assign a guard to her. He was more exasperated when he heard what she said next, “L-Let’s pretend I didn’t hear it.”

_I will really make sure that she isn’t alone from now on._

Erudian followed her, keeping himself hidden with the help of the shadows and the pillars of the temple. He covered his mouth to keep his chuckle in as she began to sing an unfamiliar song while running towards the prayer room while covering her ears.

Erudian was going to come out of the shadows, going to stop her from entering it but he heard that all too annoying and familiar voice telling him to stop.

**[I need to talk to her.]**

Erudian bit his lower lip and nodded with a resigned sigh. He did say that he had plans for her earlier. His eyes twitched when the doors closed when he was about to enter the room with her.

**[I said I’m talking to her, not you, kid.]**

He grit his teeth. “Fine.” He then slumped by the walls next to the door.

**[Yeah, no. Go back to where you picked her up last time.]**

Erudian rubbed his forehead in irritation. “ _Fine._ ” He stomped towards the stairs where he met with Yerenica afterwards during the first time. He leaned on the wall by the hallway entrance to the garden, waiting patiently for whatever was happening inside there.

Erudian continued to think of preparations, cleansing and purification, when a thought entered his mind.

 _Was this where she went last time?_ He turned his head to the direction of the priests’ prayer room, eyeing it. _Why didn’t she say so?_ Erudian blinked. _Well, it is only for the priest. But then, it was the god himself who invited us._ He shrugged and went back to what was important, something vital for his happiness.

_… How do I start courting Yerenica?_


	11. PART XI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made everyone sad so here's an update for all of you.

Being alone was never a problem before. Erudian grew up alone. He had his parents but his mother died because of illness and his father was more of a teacher, not a parent. The previous emperor was a father to the nation first before he was ever the father of Erudian Belgoth.

 _He was more concerned with my education rather than how I truly felt._ Erudian bitterly thought.

But here he was right now, sitting all by himself and surrounded by his thoughts.

Erudian had handled the princess’ new lodgings after instructing Ruid to go back to the palace to inform Perrik and the staff of Bellyugung Palace. The princess will be residing in the room next to his where he would be sure to release some divinity for her sake and she would be close enough to receive it, perhaps even without noticing.

He had done so in the previous time, especially when she wasn’t coming out of her room or when she was ignoring him for days, making Erudian concerned and worried over her.

He had no doubt that whatever is happening in Bellyugung must be taking its effect right now. Erudian remembered how day by day, it drained the lively princess, making her

**_Pale. Cold. Lifeless. Dead._ **

_Stop it. Stop it. Stop it._ Erudian clenched his teeth and held his tightening chest. He paused in his anger when he felt something against it. He looked down, it wasn’t one of his pins.

Erudian reached inside and froze when his hand met cold metal, remembering instantly what was inside. He held it in his hands and slowly pulled it out of his inner pocket.

**_Silver earrings with ruby centers._ **

**_Silver key. Silver necklace. Ruby key. Ruby necklace._ **

**_Silver chest. Ruby jewel. Gold coffin. Glass coffin._ **

****

**_“I long for you, do you long for me too?”_ **

**_“My love, Erudian, I wish we could be together in the next life.”_ **

****

Erudian took a shuddering breath, his forehead meeting his hands which held a precious pair of earrings. They were fake, he could tell without looking. It wasn’t pure silver and it wasn’t really pure rubies either. But this tiny pair of earrings, they meant so much more to him than the crown that was placed on his head five years ago.

_Yerenica means more to me than Belgoat ever will._

His eyes went to the night sky, glimmering with stars and a lone moon. He embraced this cold and silent night, remembering how hours ago, he had been mourning with the burial of his love, his princess. He had regretted many things and apologized for many more. And now here he was.

Erudian took in the cold night air which breezed through the outer courtyard and gardens of the temple. He recalled the cold hands of the wind back in the palace of Lebovny, how they felt like hands caressing his cheeks and hair.

“---“

Erudian opened his eyes and looked at the direction of the voices. Across where he was sitting on the stairs of the building where the priests’ prayer room lay, was the public prayer room. The doors had opened and orange and yellow candlelight came out as did the people. He smirked in amusement when he saw several disappointed faces.

 _They must have come here more for me than for him._ Erudian stood, patting away the dirt that clung on the priest’s robe. No doubt by now some poor priest is wondering where his clothes had gone. The sound of footsteps approaching making him turn. It was another priest just doing a patrol.

Erudian sighed and took off the priest’s robes.

“Y-Your-“

“Hush.” He simply said and placed the robe on the priest’s hands. “Thank you for letting me borrow this.”

“Y-Yes? A-Ah, y-yes…?” the priest said unsurely and went to continue on his walk, confusion still marring his features while looking back and forth to Erudian and to the hallway.

Erudian rubbed the back of his head and leaned his shoulder on the pillar, sure that no one would be able to spot him unless someone in the crowd comes near the building and notices him. He rubbed his forehead and looked at the golden doors impatiently, his feet tapping on the floor as his eyes continued to stare at it.

**[Look at it a little longer and it might melt.]**

Erudian sighed. “Finally.” He muttered underneath his breath. Erudian waited but nothing happened to the door. He sighed and stepped forward but an invisible force pushed him back.

**[Geez, can’t you at least do this right?]**

_Do this right?_ Erudian frowned and tried to remember what happened before.

He had arrived just in time for the prayers to be finished, thinking that she may have participated in them as she would have nothing to do. But in the end, Erudian found her… clinging to Diego Schumart. He frowned.

_Not going to happen._

He continued to step forward but this time, something unseen had blocked him. Like an invisible wall.

… _Are you kidding me?_ He scowled to the ceiling where no doubt his ancestor was looking down at him.

**[Come on, I need them interact.]**

Erudian sighed in frustration and went back to where he was waiting. He watched from his hidden position by the pathway disgruntledly as a priest came and heard something inside the prayer room. Erudian breathed out a sigh of relief when he saw his princess, alive and unharmed. Though a bit dishevelled, but still beautiful.

“Oh my, Princess?” Erudian shifted his gaze to Diego Schumart who just came from the public prayer room. “Why are you coming from there?” the priest rushed to the princess’ side.

Erudian could see the gloomy appearance of his Yeni, the drained and exhausted form shook his being and it forced him to stop the coming dark thoughts before they even appear.

“Hey, you.” He muttered, listening to the conversation before him. “What did you do?”

Erudian felt another pain in the back of his head and moved forward because of it. He glared at the night sky. “You-“

**[You two might really be meant-to-be. Such foul-mouthed children.]**

“I asked you a question.”

**[Bye, foul mouthed children, I’ll speak with you later. I have to listen to prayers now.]**

“…” Erudian rubbed the back of his head, irritated with how his ancestor just handled him.

“It’s over…” Erudian turned his attention back to his princess who was now clinging to Diego Schumart, much to his displeasure. “My life is already in shambles…”

Erudian could no longer bear see his love in such a state so he stepped forward, releasing some clean divinity to comfort her. His Yerenica perked up and turned to his direction, eyes becoming teary as she saw and called for him, a relieved smile on her face.

“Erudian!” she exclaimed and Erudian stepped forward, offering his hand.

“Come here.” He said softly, a small, reassuring smile on his face as his princess gleamed at him.

“You don’t have to say that because I was planning on going to you.” She rushed to him, Schumart letting her go and watching with an indulging smile as the princess stepped towards Erudian.

Erudian didn’t mind the others watching them a few meters away, all of them in shock and observing silently the spectacle before them. His Yerenica must be still unaware of her surroundings as she then hugged him, claiming her happiness as the reason for it and Erudian just let her.

He felt the warm arms wrapping around his waist and Erudian softened at the feeling. He embraced her back, his hands going to her back, stroking her back and playing with some strands of her hair. Erudian closed his eyes, forgetting the world for a moment as he rested his cheek on her head while she rested hers on his chest.

 _This feels nice._ He thought to himself, reassuring himself with the steady heartbeat that he could feel against him and the breathing that he could hear. _This is real._

“You must not hug other people like this, Yerenica.” He said, lightly pulling himself away but keeping hold of her waist, his other hand pushing some strands away from her face. “It might become a bad habbit.”

_You can’t hug anyone else like this other than me._

His sweet Yeni pouted at him. “I’m not that undisciplined. I have principles too.” Erudian smiled at her response. He held both of her cheeks and raised her face to meet his. Erudian checked her face, letting his divinity rush through and even feeling some of it go to her.

He frowned in concern. _Does she need so much? Does she need them so desperately?_

“Did something happen? You looked distressed.” _What did that god do to you?_ Erudian watched as her face glowed pink.

“P-Please let go of me…” she asked in a shy tone, hands reaching to grasp his wrists. Erudian felt like teasing his princess so he leaned down, his forehead meeting hers and the princess’ pink face turned bright red. “E-Erud-“

“You hugged me first.” He said, feeling childish. The feeling of euphoria echoing through his body and making his heart pound faster.

_She’s here. She’s in my arms. I love her._

Erudian hears an adorable sound of frustration, getting him out of his trance of just staring at his Yeni. “Nothing happened.” She tried to convince him, unfortunately for her, Erudian knows otherwise. “It’s not like I’m a magnet of disaster.”

 _Oh, my dear._ He ignored the sad ache in his chest. _You have no idea._

“That’s a relief.” Pulling his head away and now noticing Schumart watching them with a happy smile

_“Will you be going?”_

Erudian sent a small smile to the priest which surprised the brunette a little but managed to regain his composure. “Your Majesty.” He bowed his head, a hand on his chest. “Welcome back.”

“Yes, thank you.” he said, wrapping an arm around his Yeni’s shoulders and pulled her against him. Yerenica let out a sound but did not move. Still, Erudian could feel the heating face on his side. “Did anything happen while I was away?”

Erudian could feel Yerenica’s shoulder tense and the priest shared a look with his princess before responding with the usual smile on his face. “No. Nothing happened, Your Majesty.”

He resisted the urge to chuckle at the sigh of relief coming from his princess. Erudian knew Yerenica and Schumart were relying on the priest’s reputation as a faithful and trustworthy priest who was kind to everyone. Also, who would expect a priest of Raulus to lie to his master?

Erudian huffed, hiding a smile. He’d let it go for now. The man was, after all, a loyal and obedient man to the crown. _And Yerenica’s friend._

“His Majesty…!”

“Oh my, His Majesty is here…”

“My eyes are not deceiving me, aren’t they, Lady Hilario?”

“Yes, Lady. I can see it with my own eyes as well!”

“My, isn’t he being a bit intimate with the Princess?”

“So, the rumours were true!”

“Did they come for a blessing?”

Erudian could feel Yerenica pressing closer to him at the sudden increase of volume from the whispers of the nobility and commoners alike. His Yeni clung to the sleeve of his coat and looked up with pleading eyes. Erudian looked at her, unable to look away from those dazzling blue eyes reflecting the light from the moon.

“Is there something wrong, Yerenica?” he rubbed his thumb on her shoulder as she lowered her head, Erudian stung by her insecurity once more.

“T-There’s a lot of people.”

Erudian hummed and nodded. He looked at the gathering crowd, spying one lady with golden hair. “They have just finished praying.” He recalled this conversation as well. No matter how long it has been. “Is there a problem?”

“There just is…” she tugged on his coat and Erudian looked back on his Yeni. “When are we leaving?” she asked, her voice shaking and letting Erudian know of her nervousness.

Erudian paused, peeking back at the noblewomen in the small distance before looking back at his Yerenica.

His princess was lonely in the palace. With only him, Schumart, and her handmaiden as her constant companions, but even they had their limitations. Schumart was needed in the Temple, her handmaiden cannot cross the border of master and servant, and Erudian, as much as he wanted to spend his every living and breathing by her side, had duties he needed to do and fulfil.

In several countries, a princess, queen, or empress would have her ladies-in-waiting, trusted noblewomen to fill up positions. Most of them have politics embedded, but Erudian would make sure that his Yerenica would never be involved in such things and that her ladies-in-waiting would be people she trusted, especially the Mistress of the Robes, who is the head of the ladies-in-waiting and the empress or queen’s closest companion.

 _And there is one woman I trust to have such a title for the future Empress of Belgoat_.

“Before we go,” he pushed his Yeni to the crowd whose voices lowered upon seeing the Emperor and the Princess approaching them. “may I introduce you to someone?”

“I-Introduce?”

“It can be a bit lonely in the palace and I can’t always be there to speak with you, Schumart as well.” He said, still rubbing her shoulder to offer some comfort. “I know someone who would be a good friend to you. I trust her.”

“I-Is that s-so?” he could feel her shaking as they came closer to the group of noblewomen who bowed at them, the others in the crowd following suit. “E-Erudian…”

“It’s fine.” He soothed as they stopped before the small group. “Please, rise, ladies.”

“Your Majesty.” The greeted before rising, eyeing the sweet princess who was pale and shaking.

“Countess Iven,” he called and the golden-haired countess’ eyes widened as she stepped forward, the others making way for her. “May I introduce you to Princess Yereninovica Lebovny, Princess of Lebovny.” He turned a gentle eye to his princess who stared at the countess, her hands clasped in front of her.

“Yerenica,” he began and he heard the gasps and whispers in the crowd, “this is Countess Clarice Iven, Countess of Ivenwood.”

“P-Pleasure to meet you, My Lady.” Yerenica bowed her head, seeing that she could not curtsy because of Erudian’s arm around her. Erudian smiled at the princess’ complete unaware of her actions. As she had only moved her head, not her body, it was a statement that she was a woman of higher status. And as she stood in the arm of the emperor, it was as if she was saying that she was a possible candidate for empress.

_Not possible candidate. She is the only candidate._

“Please, Your Highness,” the Countess let out a bright smile, sincere like her husband, as she curtseyed at what she thought of as the royal couple already. “the pleasure and honor are all mine.”

“You humble me, My Lady.” His Yeni smiled softly as she reached out, the Countess doing the same and letting her hands be clasped inside of the Princess’. “Erudian, ah.” Yerenica looks at him for a moment, embarrassed at calling his name out in public but Erudian just smiled at her, relishing in the crowd's reaction. “Uhm, His Majesty tells me that you and I could be great friends. It would make me very happy if you could visit me in the Imperial Palace.”

“Oh!” the Countess gasped at the invitation, looking at Erudian as if she was seeking his permission as well. Erudian nodded and fondled the shoulder he still held, aware of the eyes looking at his and Yerenica’s every movement.

“It would be an honour, Your Highness.”

His Yeni beamed, the awkwardness from her falling apart quickly as she now had a new friend. “Please, call me Yere-“

“Come to think of it,” Erudian interrupted making his Yeni glare at him. “It is getting quite a bit late. Shall we get going?” he asked and his Yeni nodded her head. Erudian turned his eyes back to the noblewomen and nodded his head at them, making them bow. “It was good seeing you all here. Do come at morning tea, Countess.”

“Yes, Your Majesty. Thank you for granting me such an honour, Your Highness.”

“Oh, please, call me-“

“Come now, Yerenica, time to go.” He turned them, bringing his Yerenica along with him who huffed at him before turning her head to send her farewells to her new friend.

“It was a pleasure meeting you!” she called out, giving the Countess a small wave of her hand as Erudian just dragged her forward, his grip still on her shoulder. His princess let out a small indignant sound. “You didn’t have to be so rude. I just wanted her to call me by my name as well.”

Erudian just hummed as they continued on to where he knew Ruid would be waiting for them.

He wanted to be selfish a little, wanting to be the only person who called her by her name in the entire empire. She may have given her permission for her handmaiden and for Schumart to call her by her given name but he had no doubt that they are hesitating to do so.

_Let me be selfish this time._

**[I just left you for a moment and you’re back to being a childish person.]**

Erudian sighed and made a move of swatting away something by his ear with his free hand.

“What’s wrong, Your Majesty?”

“Nothing. Some buzzing bee perhaps.”

**[ _What?_ ]**

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

Like before, his Yerenica fell asleep on his chest while they road back to the palace. Erudian felt warmth envelop him at the trust the princess has offered to him. He let out a breath through his nose as a smile appeared on his face. Erudian lifted his hand and placed it on her soft head, gently pushing it to rest by his shoulder and neck. With that, he nuzzled her head, closing his eyes and caressing her smooth, pink, and rose-scented hair. The smell of it was complimentary to her vanilla skin.

_I really wish we could stay like this forever._

Perrik was waiting by the entrance of the main palace and Erudian stopped Ruid, handing Yerenica gently to him, making sure she wasn’t jostled awake. He quickly got off Ruid and handed him to a waiting stable boy with a pat on his muzzle.

Erudian then took his Yeni back in his arms, hand pushing her head back into his neck and she nuzzled into him making him smile. He looked back to his stunned aide. “Her room?” he whispered as they walked inside, the palace still lit as they had waited for him to come home.

“All prepared, Your Majesty.” Perrik replied with a soft voice, understanding his master’s wish to not disturb the princess’ slumber. “A priest has cleared her things from any signs of mana. Only her handmaiden, Marianne, is permitted from the Bellyugung Palace as you had instructed.”

“The artefacts?” he asked, slowly climbing the stairs to reach the third floor.

With Yeni in his arms, she wouldn’t be able to feel the mana protecting and surrounding the palace as well as the first and second floor. His divinity was released immensely the moment he stepped off of Ruid and took Yeni in his arms.

“The third floor has been cleared of all mana and magical properties, Your Majesty.” Perrik confirmed and Erudian looked down at his princess, snoring softly to his neck making it a bit ticklish.

“Her gifts?”

“… Gifts?” Perrik blinked. “I wasn’t aware you wanted gifts for her, Your Majesty.”

Erudian’s lips twitched upwards at his aide’s statement. “I meant the gifts from the people.”

“O-Oh.” The aide said softly, embarrassed by his error. “All the gifts are being checked still. The checking has been paused momentarily because of the late hour but will continue tomorrow morning, Your Majesty.”

Erudian nodded as they finally arrived at the third floor. “Countess Iven will be coming to have some tea with the princess. Please prepare the Central Garden for them.”

“T-The Central Garden?” his aide gaped at him and Erudian nodded.

“Yes, also add some pink and white flowers there as well.” He ordered, stopping at the door beside his suites. His Yerenica’s own suite. The Empress’ Suites.

“… Yes, Your Majesty.” Perrik nodded and Erudian dismissed him before he entered his Yeni’s new rooms.

It was complete with her own sitting area and bathing room. The staff obviously did a good job despite the rush of his command.

The long unused Empress’ Suites had once used to belong to his mother. His mother had been an elegant and exuberant woman, wanting many expensive things to come for her so the room had been gilded to the highest ability. But they were gone now, the room cleared after his coronation and was left empty and pale, ready to be decorated by a new empress.

_And Yerenica will._

He was pleased with the soft colours of the room, the cream and pink pastels will surely be liked by his Yerenica. Erudian looked down at the slumbering face of his princess and nuzzled her forehead before he turned to where the bedroom should be.

Erudian eyed the other doors in the room and continued to the bed, laying his Yeni soflty on the white bed. He got rid of her shoes and jewellery. Erudian paused momentarily at her clothes.

 _… Don’t women wear corsets?_ He flushed. _Should she sleep in that?_

Erudian covered his face with his hand, embarrassed all of a sudden. “Ah, I should get a maid for this.”

**[Yeah, get a maid. Don’t be such a pervert.]**

His eye twitched at his ancestor’s words. He went outside to fetch tell a guard to fetch a maid before returning back to her bedroom. Erudian looked down at his princess. He reached out to push some hair strands away and kissed her forehead.

“Good night, my Yeni.” He whispered before going to the double doors on the same wall as the head of the bed and pushing them open to reveal his own bedroom.

Erudian gave his princess one final glance, making sure she was alive with the rise and fall of her chest, before closing the door, hearing a maid’s footsteps approaching.

He sighed, leaning his forehead on the door, completely drained from the day.

**[… You did a good job.]**

“Did I?” he mumbled, feeling unsure.

**[Did you not?]**

“… I don’t know.” He confessed, moving away from the door and stripping himself with his coat and belt. “We have to see the future to be sure.” He sat on the edge of his bed, removing his boots and then unbuttoning his shirt.

**[But are you prepared this time?]**

Erudian paused in his undressing at the question. He looked up at the Imperial Flag across his room, displayed on the other wall. The wall of his bed sharing the wall of Yerenica’s.

“I will be this time. I won’t let anyone take her from me.”

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

Erudian woke to the sounds of weeping. His eyes slowly fluttered open as he turned and rose on the bed, his elbow supporting his upper body as he scanned his surroundings. He was in his bedroom and was already in his sleeping clothes. Erudian scanned his surroundings and waited patiently

“ _Hic… Hic.._ ” Erudian looked to the door leading to the balcony and frowned. He grabbed his sword by the bedside and stood, walking towards the windowed balcony doors. He hid behind the wall and peeked out, unsheathing his sword.

But his hands stopped when he spotted pink hair moving with the cold night air outside.

His princess, his Yerenica, his Yeni was outside in the balcony crying. She was wearing a white nightgown which swayed with the wind and her hair. Her face was on her hands as she let out weeping sounds, her body trembling.

Erudian dropped his sword and opened the balcony windows in a rush. “Yerenica.” He called out, his body meeting the railing, unable to go to her. “My Yerenica, what’s wrong?” he panicked, “Speak to me.”

“ _Hic… Hic…_ ”

Erudian bit his lower lip, his hands shaking at the sight of his distressed princess. “Don’t move, I will be right there.” He turned to go back in his room and use the door to her room when he heard her speak.

“I’m dead, aren’t I?”

Erudian halted in his steps and turned his head to her. She still wasn’t looking at him, her hands still covering her crying face.

“What?”

“I’m dead. I died already.” She then lowered her hands and looked at him.

And immediately, a cold chill engulfed Erudian with the sight.

White dress. Lily petals sticking to her hair. Pale, pale, skin. Lifeless, dull hair.

**_White eyes of the dead._ **

“Why can’t you just let me rest in peace?” she screamed at him. “It’s all you! It’s always because of you!”

“Y-Yeni.” Erudian trembled, unable to move.

**_“You did this, Erudian Lu Soledo Belgoat. You killed me.”_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. :)


	12. PART XII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A boring chapter, I guess? Still, hope you guys enjoy.

Erudian gasped awake and sat up straight on the bed. He panted and shuddered, feeling cold. Erudian scanned his surroundings as he held a hand to his throat, suddenly feeling as if he was being suffocated.

 _A dream._ He stopped and shook his head. _No, not a dream. A nightmare._

Erudian lifted his knees as he sat better on the bed, hand clutching his hair as he tried to calm himself, the sweat on his body making him feel chilled. He sighed and went to the fireplace, placing some firewood and lighting a fire with some flint and steel on the mantle.

_It was just a nightmare. Some blasted, stupid nightmare._

Erudian sat on the grey velvet high back wing chair by the fireplace. He always liked sitting on this chair at the end of the day; relaxing by the toasty flames, reading a book while sipping on some tea. He always looked forward to it by the end of a busy day when he longed for nothing but peace and quiet.

 _Peace and quiet…_ Erudian’s heart quickened and he looked on the door where his love was sleeping behind. _Too Quiet.._

Erudian quickly rushed to the door, he paused momentarily, wondering if this was all a dream as well before shaking those thoughts out. _This was real. This is happening._ He pushed the door gently and peeked inside.

Pink hair. Breathing.

**Dead.**

_Breathing._

**_“You did this, Erudian Lu Soledo Belgoat. You killed me.”_ **

_NO._

Erudian tightened his grip on the door handle, his breathing harsh as he rested his head against the door. He felt sick, like he was going to throw up in any moment. Erudian entered the room and went to the decanter in the princess’ bedside, pouring himself some water and drinking from it silently as to not disturb his Yeni.

He slowly sat on the bed, staring at his sleeping Yerenica.

**[What’s up with you? Being a pervert now?]**

“…”

**[… That was just a joke, by the way.]**

“…”

**[Ah, this kid really.]**

“I had a nightmare.” He let out softly, raising his hand and caressing the back of it against her soft cheeks. His Yeni mumbled in her sleep before smiling and leaning into his hand. “She knew she was dead and blamed me.”

**[… It was just a nightmare. And besides, it wasn’t really your fault, kid.]**

_Was it not?_ Erudian thought as his hands went from her cheeks to her soft hair. _How could it not be?_

He took her from her homeland where she was safe, he exposed her to mana to which she was maladjusted, he kept her away from him who was able to help her, he never reached out to her as he was too scared to do so making her weak.

**_And she died because of that._ **

**[You… You’re traumatized, aren’t you?]**

_Am I?_ He asked to himself as he played with the strands of her soft pink hair. _Is that it?_

**[Get some rest. You didn’t have any last night.]**

_Last night._

The night after her funeral. Erudian closed his eyes and just… sat there.

“In a moment.” His hand went back to her cheek and he watched with a heavy heart as Yerenica leaned into his cold hands. “In a moment.”

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

Erudian read through the documents of what Azekien was now offering him. They were willing to use another means of passage aside from the Glucaman Road but at a high price. He frowned at the mere suggestion of that magical kingdom.

_The audacity to also suggest portal usage._

The reason why mana isn’t transported through portals because of the effects that the magical object may have on it. It might transport somewhere else, and worse, bringing the people who was with it with them. Thus, transportation by road is the safest possible action, even if it’s a lengthy one. No one wanted to take the risk of dying because they were transported somewhere unknown.

A knock made him look up to find Perrik with a nervous look.

“Your Majesty,” he cleared his throat. “Princess Yereninovica has awakened.”

Erudian dropped all papers and left his study, Perrik following closely behind him as they made their way to the third floor’s morning room where, as he had been told by his trusty aide, the princess was having her breakfast.

He couldn’t have her walking still in the first floor as some of the areas were still being cleared. He can’t fully let the palace security down just for the sake of his Yeni being able to walk around wherever she wanted to, but he wanted her to have more space than the five hundred meters he had given her in the previous time.

The guard and maid by the open doors of the morning room noticed him and gave him a salute and a bow. “Your Majesty.” They greeted as he entered the room and stopped at the sight.

His Yerenica, sitting by the large clear glass of the room’s windows, spreading some jam on her bread.

She was wearing a beautiful blue gown with white lace and gold patterns. Her hair was in an elegant up-do and she wore simple silver earrings and necklace. But what truly caught his attention was the small diamond tiara on her head.

_A pale blue drawing room with white and gold furniture._

**_“You killed me.”_ **

That beautiful head turned and blue eyes met red.

“Your Majesty!” she stood, greeting him with a confused smile. “You’re… here?”

Erudian shook himself from his trance and approached her, a warm and soft feeling blooming in his chest as he stared at the blessing he had received. “I haven’t had breakfast. I was planning on joining you.” He told her, and watched the strange look on her face appear.

“You…” she scrunched her face and suddenly touched his forehead, surprising him. “You don’t have a fever, do you? You’ve been acting so strange, especially yesterday. And by the way,” she pulled her hand away and rested them on her hips. “Why am I in your palace?”

Erudian blinked at his Yerenica who continued to give him a determined look. He cleared his throat before responding. “Last night, there seemed to be some problems with the management of the palace. I decided that it would be best to have you stay here for a while as it would be the most secure location in the Imperial Palace.”

It wasn’t a complete lie. Right now, Diego was cleansing any form of magic that stuck to the Bellyugung Palace grounds. It would take a few days and if it were up to Erudian, he’d just burn it to the ground with his divinity, but his Yerenica would probably not want that.

“Problems…?” a pale feature came to the princess’ face. “What do you mean problems? Is it related to…” she looked down and Erudian noticed the tremble in her lower lip and of her hands. He clenched his jaw and fists.

**_Soleia Elard._ **

“You don’t need to worry about that.” Erudian raised his hand and pushed back some purposely loose strands of her hair. “Bellyugung is currently being cleaned from all those rats.”

“Rats?” she stepped away and Erudian didn’t like the distance but didn’t move. “What do you-“

“As I said, there is nothing that you should be concerned about.” Erudian smiled, turning her and pushing her back to her seat on the small table that was made just for them. “I’d rather have my breakfast talking about light things, don’t you?”

The princess bit her lower lip, nodding quietly as Erudian sat her down before going to his chair and began eating. He kept their conversation light, asking if she enjoyed yesterday (to which she did, thankfully), and what does she plan on doing with Countess Iven.

“I… I’m not sure.” She fidgeted. She peeked at him, Erudian stopping his meal as he stared at those crystal-blue eyes, shining in the sunlight. His heart pumped wildly at the sight and once again, he was grateful to his ancestor for giving him this chance to make things right. “Your Majesty,” she began, “Why?”

Erudian tilted his head, an indulging smile in his face as he waited patiently for her to finish her query.

“You… Ever since yesterday, you have been acting so strange.” She started, looking at him with bewildered eyes, “It’s... It’s not like I don’t like the change, rather it’s quite confusing. Has something happened? Has Lebovny agreed to your terms? Is that why you’re being so nice to me?”

Erudian didn’t answer, he looked at her with his red-violet eyes.

His Yeni then touched the crown on her head with an unsure look. “I don’t understand, what’s all this? Why are you being so nice? You’re being too generous as well. Yesterday, you bought everything from that vendor because I was just looking at her merchandise. And this crown, I hear whispers that it’s part of the Royal Family’s treasury. Why would you... Your Majesty?”

Erudian just continued to gape at his princess as his utensils were clutched tightly in his hands. His Yeni thought his generousness had come from his happiness for the Agreement? His princess, his love thought that he was just making her happy for his own benefit?

“… Erudian?”

Erudian didn’t answer as he dropped his knife and reached out to touch her hand which had held the crown he had given her.

**_Silver. Rubies. White Diamonds. Pink Diamonds. A crown for an Empress._ **

Erudian raised their joint hands and kissed the back of her left hand His mind was too occupied with the grief, the sadness, the longing, the sorrow to notice and hear his Yerenica’s shocked sounds. He pulled his lips away and caressed her hand, thinking of a ring that should be there.

 _I should have it made._ Erudian thought as he touched her ring finger, trying to measure it. _I want to see it on her._

“Y-Your Majesty?!”

Erudian looked up to his Yerenica’s flustered appearance, her face a shade darker than her hair and he smiled at her, hand still holding hers.

“Yerenica,” he said softly, “I am not doing the things I have done for you, with you, because of the Glucaman Agreement. Though I did take you from your home because of it, please know that you are more than just a mere hostage. I did say that you are a guest of the Imperial Palace, but you are more than that. Please know that.”

His other hand went to his cheek as she stared at him, her sky-blue eyes boring into his soul. “Yerenica, this crown is not because your father has relented to my terms, or because the Agreement is going my way. This crown is a gift from me to you- not as an Emperor of Belgoat to the Princess of Lebovny, but as Erudian Belgoat to Yerenica Lebovny.”

“Your Majesty-“ she breathed out.

“Erudian,” he asked of her, “Erudian.”

“E-Erudian,” she stuttered out, her pink face returning ten-fold. “Why-“

“I’m sure you know why.” He smiled gently before kissing her hand once more. “Now, Countess Iven must be arriving soon. Why don’t we greet her in the Central Gardens?”

“…”

His Yerenica gave him an unsure look, which pained Erudian a bit, before nodding hesitantly. Erudian offered her his arm and he escorted her downstairs, his divinity covering her from the mana on the first and second floor of the palace.

He glanced at her discreetly, and frowned at her thoughtful look.

**[Slowly, kid. You’re going to give her a heart attack.]**

_I’m trying._ Erudian wanted to say. _But, how can I slow down? It’s her, beside me, once more._

Erudian chose to remain silent as he lifted his other hand and rested it above hers which laid on his arm.

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

The Central Garden was the most beautifully designed garden in the Imperial Palace. It had a gazebo covered in vines, trees that bore flowers which perfumed the air around them, elegant statues, and well-managed shrubbery. It was the centre of attention outside of the palace buildings. But it wasn’t only the beauty and grandeur that attracted people here.

The Central Garden was the epicentre of the Empress’ Gardens. And only the Empress can use it.

Erudian watched from his window below, spotting the his pink-haired Yerenica walking alongside the countess. He could remember the look of surprise the noblewoman had on her face when he had escorted his princess to the gardens. Her gold eyes going to the crown resting on the princess’ head, sparkling underneath the sunlight.

 _No doubt the story would spread._ Erudian smiled to himself. _Countess Iven is a good woman, and she surely knows what I am doing._

**[Enough ogling and back to planning. What do you plan to do?]**

Erudian turned from the sight and went back to sitting on his chair. What did he plan to do?

“Wait.”

**[Wait? Wait?!]**

“Good things come to those who wait.”

**[I decide when good things come.]**

Erudian sighed and ruffled his hair. “Trust me, I know what I’m doing.” He looked back to the documents in his table.

A Search Warrant for the Tower of Belgoat.

Erudian tapped his fingers on it. If he starts this, no doubt their enemy would get cautious more, and he will either go into further hiding or act carelessly. There are only two possible cases where black magic could be done without him knowing; the Tower and Underground. There were many before who used their basements to hide from his father’s ‘purge’ of black magic.

It was one of his father’s greatest achievements, and one that he urged Erudian to continue.

**[You’ll expose yourself.]**

“And they’ll expose themselves.” _And besides, I already have on culprit in mind._ His thoughts went to the red-haired woman. The witch.

_Why did she go through so many things to marry me? Make and spread the scandals of other noblewomen, threaten the nobles who wanted their daughters empress, and even-_

**_“Then, there will be no harm to your empire, to her kingdom, and to your Princess.”_ **

_BLAST HER!_

Erudian slammed his fist on his table, his teeth clenched tightly. He knew her cards, that he couldn’t detect any mana from her, that he had no proof of her being a black magician, and that his weakness was something that she could easily handle with just one flick of her wrist, his Yerenica.

But now, Erudian knew better. He had too much grief and he now knew the hands she was going to show.

**_Lifeless hair. Pale skin. Grey skin. Closed eyes._ **

Erudian turned to the window again and sees his Yeni laughing with the countess. His heart filled with mirth.

“It’ll never happen again. Not if I have any say in it.”

His eyes landed on his stationary set.

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

“Dinner?” the princess asked him slowly as he escorted her to the first floor dining room. “Together?”

“Yes, why not?” Erudian smiled down at her. “The previous dinners you’ve had must have been quite lonely.”

“Well…” she didn’t say more as a pensive look came over her.

Erudian had finally sent letters to the King of Lebovny. Now that he had seen the man, seen the grief, he knew they both shared a weakness for the young princess, he as a father and Erudian as a lover. He sent two; one for the lowering of his demands for the Glucaman Road, and the other a permission to court his Yerenica.

His red-violet eyes went to the princess who looked calm yet reflective beside him. Erudian did not truly know what was happening in her thoughts, what could possibly bring such a serious look to her face. The first time he had seen it was when they had first encountered the mana stones back then and she was fearful. Since then, Erudian had known that though the princess beside him may act like a child sometimes, constantly demanding for him (which he had no problem now), she still had a mind of an adult.

“Do you not want to?” he asked anxiously and his Yerenica looked up at him with a panicked look.

“Oh, no! I mean, yes!” she blushed lightly at her incoherence. “I mean, I would love to have dinner with you.”

Erudian smiled as they entered the dining room that was set for them. His chair set on the head and hers on his left.

“That’s good.”

Both ate, filling the silence with small chats of what happened throughout their day. Erudian made sure to wave off or change the topic whenever his Yerenica would question about Bellyugung, about Eugel, about anything related to Soleia. He could see the frustration in her eyes and Erudian just accepted it.

_Better frustration than fear._

Throughout the palace, the servants watched as the emperor escorted, dined, spoke, touched, and looked at the princess. It was like a man fearful of losing something he loved dearly. The rumours spread like wildfire throughout the night. A maid whispered to the cook, who whispered to her friend, who whispered to her neighbour, who whispered to the maid, who whispered to her mistress.

And when daylight broke, everyone in Brashard spoke once more of how the Princess of Lebovny would become the next Empress of Belgoat. Everyone, including the wizards of the Tower.

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

Erudian blinked in confusion. _Morning?_

He was in his study and in front of him was his princess he had a lethargic and downturned look on his face as she stood before him while he leaned against the desk at his back. Erudian’s heart constricted at the sight, and asked what was wrong but instead, what came out of his lips was different.

“Look at this poor princess. You didn’t actually think I was interested in you.” He scoffed, a mocking smile on his face. And Erudian could only wonder what was going on internally. “Why? Because you’re the _beautiful_ Princess Yereninovica? The little princess who’s weak to mana and clings to me whenever she could and can?”

_What? No. No. That’s not… No._

Erudian would like to think that it wasn’t true, that the words that had mysteriously came out of his mouth was anything but the truth. But the cold, harsh reality reminded him that it was. He had thought of those things when he had first met the princess.

 _But they changed! She’s not like that!_ Erudian screamed in his mind and watched as his princess spoke.

“No,” his Yerenica whispered, her voice sad and despondent. She stepped closer to him and Erudian could feel the pounding of his chest as she slid her hand softly, seductively upwards from his own hands to his wrists. She leaned closer to him and Erudian listened to her words.

“Because I took your pulse.”

 _My pulse?_ Erudian was confused and an unrecognizable memory came to him.

A memory of her sick, coughing up blood. A memory of her waking after days. A memory of him holding her hand and her twisting their grip so that her hand would be on top of his.

 _What is this?_ Erudian’s mind trembled at the memory- a memory he did not remember having. _What…?_

His thoughts stopped when the princess raised her left hand and placed it on his cheek, her eyes following her own movements instead of looking at him. Erudian wanted her to. He wanted to understand what was happening but he hesitated with those sad eyes, eyes that were too dark for his liking.

“And I watched.” she breathed out as if it pained her to speak making him twinge with worry. “Your pupils dilated.”

_What?_

His Yerenica pulled away, lowering her arms as she looked down at the floor. “I imagined you thought I was weak, that I wore my heart on my sleeve and that I was very destructive, that I would get caught up with something so dangerous.” She chortled but it wasn’t one of the light and happy ones that Erudian recognized.

It was sad, empty, _broken._

_My Yeni, what’s wrong? What did I do? What’s happening?_

“Well, you were right about that.” She said, shaking her head as tears brimmed in her eyes, as she finally- finally- looked up at him.

And in her lips was the saddest and heart-churning smile he had ever seen.

“It would seem I have caught something within my grasp. A dangerous thing. A dangerous person.”

Her hands reached out for him again and Erudian lifted his, _and stopped her from reaching him._ Again, words he did not say or thought of came out.

“It is time for you to leave, Princess.”

“Yerenica.”

“Enough. You have to go.” Erudian pushed away her hand and made his way to the door. The princess behind him.

_Stay! Comfort her. Touch her! Be with her! What am I doing?!_

He stopped in his tracks when he heard her speak once more, head lightly turning to look at her in the corner of his eye. A broken voice echoing through his ears and reaching within his body to squeeze his heart with a painful grip.

“Are you expecting me to beg?” Yerenica asked, and Erudian could see the tears streaming down her cheeks as she followed him.

 _No._ He thought. _Why would I let you do that?_

“Yes.” Erudian said nonchalantly, the icy tone in his voice was so familiar yet strange to him. It reminded him of a time when he didn’t have a princess by his side, it reminded him of a time where he was a kidnapper and her, his hostage. It reminded him of a time when he was so empty without her presence, trapped in a marriage he didn’t want, trapped in a marriage he wanted to be free from.

 _Please, my Yeni, don’t beg. I don’t know what’s happening._ He wanted to shout. He wanted to scream. But nothing came out.

“Please.” She said, clinging to his arm. “I wouldn’t even last four years.”

_Wha… What?_

Erudian turned more to look at her. Her now-dark eyes resembling a waterfall, the tears that never ceased, that tears that would be never ending

**_Until her death._ **

“I’m sorry.” He said.

Then he left, leaving the weeping princess as she collapsed to the floor on her knees, begging for him to let her stay by his side.

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

Erudian’s eyes opened to meet a dark ceiling.

**[Another nightmare?]**

“…Yes.” He rose from the bed and went to the door, opening it silently, quietly. “Another nightmare.”

_But she’s alive._

Up, down. Up, down. Up, down.

Erudian stayed there for what could be hours, he stayed there watching the rise and fall of her chest. He stayed there watching her breathe until the first lights of dawn appeared and he went to get his sword, leaving for the training grounds.

_She’s here. She’s safe. She’s alive._

Erudian swung his sword, releasing all his tension, all his stress, all his worries.

 _It was just a nightmare._ He raised and hit the body bag with strength, the poor thing nearly torn in half. _Just another nightmare. I can deal with this._


	13. PART XIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what they say about 13? Well...

“Ah… Uhm…”

Erudian looked up from his meal to find Yerenica staring at him with nervous and worried eyes. He stopped his hands from their movements and focused on his princess. Erudian let out a reassuring and encouraging smile.

“Yes, Yerenica?” he queried and his Yeni smiled.

She had gotten used to him calling her by her name after three days of doing so and it comforted Erudian, letting him know that she was happy with it, despite her new knowledge of what name calling meant to Belgoatians.

“Are you okay?” she asked and Erudian blinked at her question.

“Pardon?”

“I asked if you were alright? Have you been working too much and sleeping too little? You look tired, Your… Erudian.”

Still, despite him calling her by her name always ever since their outing four days ago, his Yeni still had a hard time calling him by his. But Erudian was fine with it. He had struggled with it in the previous time, he would not struggle with it now.

**_She died with you only saying her name in times of fear,_ **

_“Yerenica.” He called out to calm her from whatever had happened in so early in the morning. “I’m not going anywhere._

**Lie.**

**_in pain,_ **

_“Yerenica.” He called out softly, love lacing his voice without his realization. “You shouldn’t say that.”_

**_“Because I can’t push you away any further.”_ **

**Truth.**

Erudian felt sick and placed a hand over his mouth. _Ugh._ He grabbed his glass of water and drank from it, forcing it to go down.

“E-Erudian?” His eyes went to Yerenica’s panicked face. “A-Are you alright? Shouldn’t you summon the Imperial Doctor?”

Erudian wanted to scoff at the suggestion but refrained from doing as to not offend his Yeni. _As if he could help me with these blasted nightmares and memories._

“I’ll be fine in a few days’ time, Yerenica. No need to worry.” He comforted the worried princess. “It’s just stress.” He set aside his meal, no longer having his appetite and focused on his princess once more.

“I hear Countess Iven wishes to bring you outside for a tea party.”

“Oh, right!” his Yeni clapped her hands as she remembered and Erudian smiled. “She did, but I haven’t replied to it, yet.”

“Why not?”

“Ah, well.” His princess then scratched her cheek with a finger as she smiled at him nervously. “I haven’t asked for you permission yet.”

Erudian blinked at her response. _My permission?_ His forehead scrunched before he realized. _Ah._

He was the captor, she his hostage. And the hostage must ask permission or obey the captor.

 _But this isn’t like that._ Erudian clenched his fists. _And I’m not sure if I’m comfortable with you being outside._

**[She’ll feel like a prisoner here. Say something, idiot. What she’s doing makes sense, she is after all, your hostage and your guest.]**

_She’s more than that. I told her already._

Erudian cleared his throat, “Do you wish to go outside?”

“Well, if you would allow me.”

“That’s not really answering my question, Yerenica.”

“Ahck, sorry.” She laughed a little. “I guess, well. It can be a bit… lonely?” Erudian froze at her words. “I mean, His Majesty is busy so I can’t always spend time with you despite being in the same palace for now. And Diego can’t be here every day just to spend time with me. And I’m sure Countess Iven has many friends and can spare some time…?”

Erudian did hear her words but his thoughts bubbled up. _She feels lonely? Is this how it was before? Was she suffocating here? Did I make her feel so alone?_

“I… uh… don’t really like feeling alone.” She confessed softly, looking down at her fingers with a weak look. “W-When I woke up, I… before that… I was alone.”

 _Before she woke up?_ Erudian frowned, trying to decipher her words. _Does she not like sleeping alone?_ Erudian forced down the thoughts appearing his head. _Now’s not the time for that._

“What do you mean, Yerenica?”

“Ah.” His Yeni smiled sheepishly. “Well, I- Perhaps, you haven’t heard but, uh, I… had memory loss?”

Erudian felt his mind stop. _Memory loss?_ He said his question out loud to which his princess shifted uncomfortably in her chair before responding.

“It happened a few months ago…? Seven? Yes, seven.” She nodded in deep thinking, unaware of Erudian’s troubled mind with this new-found fact. How come he had not heard of this before? Did this happen previously as well? How come she never told him? Did this greatly affect her body? Is this why she suffered from mana maladjustment?

“I… was so confused. I am confused, still. But I understand?” she chuckled sadly, “I am a princess, I have a mother, father, and sister…” Erudian watched her eyes glaze with tears, his heart throbbing at the sight of it. “I-I have a life that I have never known-“

Erudian moved from his chair and hugged his princess, his sweet Yeni. Yerenica let out silent tears as she snuggled to his chest for comfort and Erudian offered it to her immediately, wrapping his arms around her and softly patting the hair he loved the most in the world.

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

“I never did get to ask you.” Erudian spoke when he was now alone in his study and his Yeni was roaming the first floor areas with Diego. “What happened to him?”

**[… Him?]**

“My son… Deckard.” Erudian gulped, his stomach churning and his chest aching at the thought of his son, the son he had forgotten for love. “What happened to him?”

Erudian felt awful. He had a son and for the past few days, he had rarely thought of him. Deckard, who Erudian often didn’t see, and seldom spoke or even held him. Deckard who was his exact replica, showing his heritage of being a descendant of Raulus.

Soleia had a firm grip on their son, and used his own duties against him when he tried to be more active in raising Deckard. Erudian wasn’t there for his first words, first steps, first laughs, first everything. And it tore him that once more, he had failed his own son.

Erudian placed his forehead on the back of his clasped hands as he let more guilt swallow him. Was he truly that terrible? Was he that horrid to let the woman he love die, to never be with his wife when he could, and to never even be there for his own flesh and blood?

**[Before I turned back time, that woman was trying to get him back from my priest. The nerve. In my own temple. Ugh, tell the child to clean the floors of his study.]**

“…”

**[… Hey, you did what you could. You did your best before.]**

“… Then I was very limited.” He looked down to his pin. A pin that caught his son’s attention when he played with him one last time. “Could… Can he… Will he be here again? Even if I’m not with Elard?”

His son deserved more than what Erudian had done before. Erudian twisted his chair and looked outside the bright window, spotting the princess who seemed to be dragging her priest friend outside. It was clear that the priest was protesting.

“Come on, Diego! I needed some sun!”

“But His Majesty-“

“Is busy with work. And besides, it’s not as if I’m leaving the palace grounds.” The princess smiled cheekily at her the priest who just sighed and went with her. The maid following closely behind the two.

**[Up to you, really. Do you want your son again?]**

“Will I have him with her?” he asked, longing in his eyes as he continued watching the lively princess who earlier, cried in his arms. Erudian’s coat was damp and had small marks from her tears but he wore it like a badge of honor. “I’ve always wondered… what it would be like if I hadn’t let her go.”

A bright and laughter-filled palace. Teas under the sun. A warm body beside his. Kisses on his lips and cheeks. A belly round with child. His son in his arms. Giggles in the air. Crying that he would soothe.

_First words. First steps. First laughs. I’ll be there this time._

“I want it.” He let out softly, knowing his ancestor would hear him despite the volume. “I want that life. I want it. You have no idea-“ Erudian clutched his aching chest as images of a life he dreamt came before him. “You have no idea how long I have longed for that. How many nights I’ve slept thinking about it, fantasizing it.”

His ancestor was silent as he breathed harshly. For four long years, his mind and heart constantly reached out for Yerenica, his Yerenica who wasn’t there anymore to relieve his pain, his worries, his sorrow. Erudian yearned for the soft, smooth hands on his head and hair, for the gentle and sweet voice telling him he did a good job and that he should rest. The soft body against his, hugging him…

**_One final time._ **

_Stop. Damn it. Stop!_ His other hand clutched his head, gritting his teeth in anger. _When will this… this… damned…_

“Erudian?”

Erudian halted and gazed up slowly, seeing the one thing that mattered to him.

“Yerenica,” he gasped out at the figure by his study door. “What are you doing here?”

His Yerenica was there, standing just by the entrance to his personal study with a hand on the door knob and was looking at him in worry. She was wearing another flattering pink dress and heeled shoes making her slightly taller. In her beautiful styled head was another crown. A crown of silver and pink diamonds.

**_A crown for a dead never-to-be Empress._ **

_She will._ Erudian gulped standing from his sweat. _She will become empress._

“Well,” his Yeni sent a shy smile. “I… I wondered if I could spend some time… here?”

Erudian blinked at her request as her face reddened and she clutched the skirt of her dress. _She wanted to spend time here? Why?_ The princess must have seen his confusion as she responded without prodding.

“Diego just left to prepare for the afternoon visitors of the temple.” She muttered, looking down and avoiding his bright gaze. “And Marianne can’t stay by my side all day… so… Countess Iven was invited to a party… and…”

_She wants to spend some time with me because she was lonely._

“…”

“… Ah, nevermind. Sorry!” she turned, her face all red and flustered and Erudian acted.

“Wait.” Erudian called gently and his Yerenica stopped, her head turning to look back at him with an embarrassed look. “You can stay…” _with me,_ “here.”

His Yeni’s face softened with a hopeful smile. “Really? I can?”

Erudian moved from his desk to hers and offered his hand. “Yes, I know how quiet it can be in the palace.”

“I’m not disturbing you, right?” she asked, that look of hesitation returning. “You looked… When I entered, you look stressed and I-“

“It was nothing. Just me and my thoughts.” Erudian interrupted her concerns with a small shake of his head and led her to one of the accent chairs in his study, the one faced towards him. “I hope you wouldn’t be bothered with me concentrating on my work.”

“No,” she shook her head before turning it upwards to smile at him. Erudian felt his breathe go away as the sun from the window shone down on the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. “All I need is your company.”

Erudian caressed her shoulder where his hand lay and gave some divinity to her, letting her know he was pleased without her truly knowing. “You flatter me with your words, Yerenica.”

And they spent the next hour just sitting within in each other’s company. Him reading letters from Azekien with their unfair prices and his Yerenica reading a novel she borrowed from his shelf. Erudian, he breathed. Took this all with a warm heart, replacing the despair that lingered there moments ago. Despair from the lives he had failed.

And every moment he felt that lowering feeling, he would only need to look at his Yeni, his beautiful and precious Yeni, and she would feel his gaze and look up. Rewarding him with that radiant smile that he didn’t deserve and each time, Erudian would be awestruck.

For nearly five years, he yearned to see her. Erudian was even tempted to disguise himself and rush to Lebovny just to have one glance of her, even just for a second. A small second of lively pink hair and bright blue eyes. But he didn’t. And he regretted it for the days which led up to the funeral, for days before he was given the chance to return.

Erudian was still uncertain of the future. _Would she go back? Would she stay if I ask? She wanted to stay last time. She wanted to be with me._

_“Well, shall I not go?”_

_I don’t want you to but you had to. Now, do you have to still?_

Fear and sorrow wrapped themselves around his heart as he continued to stare at the princess who now blinked at him in confusion but chose not to speak. Erudian wanted to have this, to have her by his side forever even if she goes back. And a thought came to his mind.

“… Have you… Do you have a painting?”

His Yeni tilted her head at his question. “’A painting’?” she echoed adorably that Erudian felt his tension leave slightly.

“Yes, a painting.” He nodded his head. “Did you have one made back in Lebovny.”

“I-I don’t really know?” she smiled unsurely. “I… I think so? The Royal Family Portrait.”

 _Right… She does not have her memories from before._ Erudian hid the sinking feeling he had at the reminder.

“What about a portrait of yourself? Just you.”

**_A lone portrait in the hallways of a wing in the palace covered by a black veil for mourning._ **

_… I never got the chance to see that._

His Yeni made a thoughtful sound as she pondered on his question. “I think there is one? It was outside of the rooms back in the palace.” She then laughed in embarrassment. “I really never look at it.”

**_The only painting covered in darkness._ **

Erudian forced down the bile rising once more and he gave a smile to his only love.

“Well? Shall we have a painting of you made?”

“… What?”

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

“The royal painter?”

“Does he plan to have a portrait made for the princess?”

“So it is true!”

“Have you heard the royal painter has been summoned?”

“The finest clothes have been ordered from the royal tailor. A dress!”

“A wedding dress?”

“They say it was white with gradients of pink. And it sparkled underneath the light.”

“Oh, goodness. So he really does plan to make her empress.”

“About time for the man to get married.”

“I saw Sir Perrik ordering jewels from the merchants. Pink diamonds!”

“A necklace?”

“A crown!”

“Goodness!”

“I’m sorry, Ma’am. But the jeweller’s is closed for the time being.”

“Oh, but why? Is the man leaving for a while?”

“No, Ma’am. His Majesty has made a request for him and is in the palace for the time being.”

“Have you heard that His Majesty sent a letter to Lebovny.”

“For the Glucaman Tripartite?”

“No! A Letter of Permission. My own cousin saw him writing it while attending to the Emperor.”

“The Emperor is asking permission to court the Princess?”

“Has there been a reply?”

“My cousin works as a maid for the Imperial Palace. She says that the painting process has begun and oh, she said the princess looked so breath-taking!”

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

_Breath-taking…_

Erudian watched the awe-inspiring sight before him.

Pink hair flowing freely with a crown of silver, pink and white diamonds shining. A veil made of pure-white organza with pearls hung from that elegant crown and covered the back of her hair. She was wearing a white gown, a pink gradient on the ends of her sleeves and skirt, and the silk shimmered when she moved under the light.

A large diamond was embedded on the very centre of her chest surrounded by pearls. On her neck, was a silver cross with a ruby-pink centre and on her ears, was a matching earrings.

_Those dear and darling earrings for both of them._

And for a moment, Erudian didn’t think of the past meaning of the earrings, he had thought of the time and memory he had of now. Now, where his Yerenica was breathing and lovely.

His Yeni continued smiling elegantly to the painter, her eyes bright and half-closed. Her back straight and her hands on her lap. She was displaying a position of a queen, of an empress.

Erudian found it hard to breathe at the sight before him. With the light shining down on his beloved princess, with the calm and serene atmosphere surrounding them, he felt like he was trapped in a song of dreaming. He could hear a piano in the distance, its melody bringing him peace and comfort.

“… Erudian?” she whispered, not moving her gaze from the painter who was still sketching her.

“Yes?” Erudian said softly from his position by the wall, watching everything silently.

“Why do I have to do this?” she asked, her eyes going to him without moving her head. “You told me about this two days ago but, I still don’t understand really.”

**_Because I’m scared. Because I want to see you even when you’re gone. Because_ **

_I love you and I want to be with you, no matter where you go._

But he said nothing and just hummed as a reply, earning a huff of frustration from his princess but he knew it was not one out of anger, but perhaps- just perhaps- out of fondness.

Fondness.

_I hope, that in the future, it would be something more._

“Countess Iven has been sharing the rumours and gossip of the capital lately.”

 _As expected._ Erudian hid his smile. _She will really be the Mistress of the Robes._ “Is that so? What has she been whispering to your ear?” he asked, leaning his shoulder on the wall and just taking in more of the sight of the princess, his lovely, beloved princess.

**_She’s-_ **

_Alive._ Erudian breathed. _She’s alive…_

“Well…” she started with a bashful voice, her cheeks turning pink. She looked down, avoiding the gazes of the only two men in the room. “It’s kind of… Ah!” Yerenica could no longer resist and covered her face with her hands, making Erudian smile at the enchanting sight of the princess while the Painter just sighed with a smile, letting the princess have a small break after staying still for so long.

Erudian knew the princess, despite her aggressive nature when it comes to speaking with him, was a shy and socially-anxious person. He had seen it with her interactions with the people in the square and when they were in the temple.

Erudian could still remember the insecurity she held over herself and he promised to himself that he would do his utmost best to be more confident about her appearances.

 _Not that she wasn’t._ Erudian smiled at another memory from the previous timeline.

_“Am I not pretty?” she asked, and Erudian could wanted to scoff at her last resort. It was a strange and meaningless trick._

That would work.

_Erudian shrugged his shoulders with his response. “Well, I don’t know.” He watched as the princess’ face froze and his hands twitched at the sight, realizing his error. “Ah… Will you be angry if I answer like this” when there was no reaction, he tried for some humour._

_“Lebovny’s Princess is like a sharp-tongued cat.” He tried in a light manner but still the princess remained silent._

_He watched as his princess **frowned and a downhearted appearance etched her once-bright smile.**_

_Wait, no-_ Erudian clenched his fists, hiding them with his crossed arms as the princess recovered from her flustered state to pout at him.

“You, you should really be more concerned with what your people is thinking. Even if they are nice.”

Erudian forgot the dark memories in his head as he let a teasing smile come out, willing to replace those dark memories. “You think they are nice? They must be good then, so why should I have problems with them?”

“Argh!” the princess slapped her thighs as her face turned red. “Do you even know about them?”

“Should I?”

“Yes?”

“Why?”

“ _Because!_ ”

Erudian chuckled at their light-heartened banter, happiness overflowing his every being as the princess just pouted at him. He turned to the painter and gestured for him to leave them. When the man was gone and they were all alone, Erudian walked to where his princess was sitting on a chair that looked like a small white and silver throne.

He knelt before her, taking one of her hands in his and pressed his lips against the back of her hand. Erudian heard a gasp and looked up at the surprised and paradisiacal-looking princess. His queen of hearts, his empress.

“I never did get to tell you.”

“W-What?” she asked demurely, and Erudian gazed at her beautiful, beautiful sky-blue eyes which slowly dilated and his heart beat louder and stronger at the sight.

Erudian smiled. He still has a daily promise to keep.

“You look beautiful. You always do.”

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

**_“I don’t want a marriage without love.”_ **

He had declared such a thing so confidently before and Erudian choked as those words once more repeated themselves out of his mouth without control. He knew what he was in.

**Another nightmare.**

_Wake up. Wake up. Wake up._

“Huh.” His princess let out an unsure smile but she let him know that she doubted his words so Erudian spoke once more, despite not wanting to.

**_“I’m in the middle of trying to love her.”_ **

“What?”

 _No._ He wanted to slap himself but he couldn’t control his own body and watched with unwanting eyes as a heartbroken appearance came to his beloved Yerenica, his precious Yeni.

_No. I don’t love her. My Yeni, please believe me. I suffered for four years over a wrong decision. Please, Yeni-_

And the scene changed once more. A princess in her death bed, pale and lethargic. Erudian stiffened as those dead-looking eyes went to him.

“…” His Yeni… no. This can’t be his Yeni. His Yeni was still alive. She was alive and was in the next room. This was just another nightmare.

“…”

“… You… killed me.”

Erudian wanted to cry and the dry voice. The dry voice that was so unfamiliar to him. He wanted to voice, the sweet and melodic voice that he loved to listen to even if he never understood. But despite this being a dream, despite this being another Yerenica, despite this being another image for his mind to torture him…

**_This was still his Yerenica._ **

_And I will love her no matter what happens. I will love her._

_I will go through time and space again to be with her._

Erudian closed his eyes and stepped closer to the dying figure on the bed.

It was time to face this.

It was time to end this.

“Yes… I did.” He said, choking on his own voice. “I did.”

“Why?” she gasped out, and her weak hand shook as it reached for him. Tears streamed down her face, making them brighter despite the death lingering behind those blue orbs. “Why? I love you.”

Erudian took the weak hand and knelt beside her bed, kissing the back of it like he did earlier when his Yeni was being painted. “I’m sorry.”

“Why?”

“I was too scared.” He admitted and caressed the hand in his. “I was scared and I was weak. I’m sorry. You suffered because of me.”

“I love you.”

“I know.”

“Do you?”

“I do.”

“Then, please, say it for me.” she begged, her lips trembling with the plea. “Say it.”

Erudian took a shuddering breath before looking at her in the eye. “I love you.”

As if it was the only thing she needed, her countenance brightened, no longer pale and weak. Her other hand raised itself and rested on his cheek.

“You didn’t kill me, Erudian.” She whispered, a proud and happy look on her face. “You never did.”

“I-“

“You loved me.” she lifted her body from the bed and bended down to him, kissing his forehead. Her soft lips felt so real that for a moment he had forgotten he was in a dream.

Erudian could feel the tears going down his own cheeks at the sensation and words he was hearing. His heart so painful yet so full with the love he had for the woman before him.

“My love for you killed you.” He trembled. “It killed you.”

“It was never you, my love. My only love.” She whispered against his forehead, pushing away loose strands. “You didn’t kill me and you never have, and never will.”

“Yeni-“

“Erudian, my Erudian.” She pulled her face away from hers and he glanced at her smiling yet teary face.

His Yeni, his beloved Yeni looked happy at him. _Would this be what he would have seen if he went there for her in her final moments._

“Don’t be tortured by the past, Eru.” She caressed his cheek and Erudian leaned into it, closing his eyes and feeling her kiss on his cheek.

Erudian heard her whispers in her ear and knew it was time to go. It was finished, this dreamy nightmare of his.

**_“It’s time to wake up, Erudian. Wake up, Eru. Eru, please, wake up.”_ **

“WAKE UP, PLEASE! ERUDIAN!”

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

Erudian opened his eyes with a small gasp and

**Blue eyes meeting red eyes.**

He was frozen, for a small period of time, thinking he was still in the nightmare, the dream, as he gazed into those teary blue eyes. It was only upon realizing his surroundings did he comprehend that right before him was reality. His Yerenica was in his room crying.

“Y-Yeni?” he stuttered out, rising with his elbows supporting his weight. “What are you going here-!”

Erudian was forced back to the bed when Yerenica suddenly hugged him. She was now on top of him, her face on his neck and Erudian could feel it getting wet as well as the collar of his sleeping shirt.

“Yeni-“

“You were in pain! I was so worried!” she cried on his neck and Erudian listened to her. His hand went to her back while the other tried to soothe her by stroking the back of her head. “I knew something was wrong but you weren’t telling me. And now- _sniff_ \- I heard a sound it was the door that- _sniff_ \- the maid told me not to open-“

“Yen-“

“And I was curious, and I know you’ll scold me but I’m thankful I looked!” she then pulled away from his face and Erudian watched, enraptured, as the goddess before him gave him her tears. “You were having a nightmare and you were crying and you sounded like you were in pain and you wouldn’t wake up no matter how hard I tried and-“

Erudian smiled at his princess. _Ah... I don’t think she’ll listen…_

“Are you smiling?” she said, a disapproving frown appearing in her tear-stained face. “Are you really smiling when I was here panicking for you? Do you have any idea how worried I was? I wanted to scream-“

His hand lifted to touch her cheek.

“-Perrik even if it was the middle of the night! Find some humanity! Say sorry at least!”

Erudian pulled her head down and Yerenica stopped speaking as her face was now just an inch from his. Her blue eyes- eyes that reminded him of the sky, the sea- stared and Erudian’s heart blossomed when they dilated for him, as he was sure that his dilated for her.

“Yes.” He whispered as his thumb softly fondled the smooth and flawless face above him. “I’m sorry for scaring you, my love.”

Erudian pulled her down and kissed her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -this isn't it. HAHAHAHA
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter and sorry for the long wait uwu.


	14. PART XIV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY MONTHSARY DADDYCATION CULT!
> 
> 08-14-2020

Erudian had always wondered what it would be like to kiss Yerenica. For four long years, he wondered, dreamt, fantasized. He regretted letting her go without even so much as a peck on her cheeks, pondering on what those plump cheeks would taste, how they would feel.

And now he was here kissing her. He was here, finally kissing her. Lips pressed against the ones he had longed to touch.

But there was no response.

Erudian hesitantly pulled away and opened his eyes, seeing those crystal blue eyes staring back at him in shock. He gulped down the anxiety bubbling in his throat and stroked her cheek with his thumb. “Yeni?”

“…”

“… Yerenica?”

“W-Wha…” Finally a response and Erudian took in the red slowly appearing on his princess’s face as she sputtered at him. “Y-You-“ her eyes trembled and Erudian felt like he was watching a whirlpool, drawing him in further with no escape.

Erudian played with some fallen strands of her hair as they continued to look at each other. It wasn’t awkward, not for him at least. If anything, he felt… full. Yerenica was in his room, in his bed, and in his arms. Something that has never happened at the same time in the previous life he lived. And it was something he wanted to relish in.

A pillow being slammed against his face forced him from his stupor and he struggled to breath as he listened to his Yeni’s voice which was muffled as his ears were covered by the pillow.

“You idiot! What do you think you’re doing?! That was my first kiss!”

 _That’s good._ Erudian thought as he reached to pull the pillow away from his face. _But it would be better if I could breathe._

Erudian heaved in an amount of air as the pillow was moved aside. He rested a hand on his forehead while the other went to Yerenica’s back to steady her as her upper body rested against him still. Erudian’s face which had turned red from the lack of air, turned even redder when he realized Yerenica was still in her nightdress.

A light nightdress to help with the heat.

He made no comment, not wanting to embarrass her.

“Y-You, geez!” Erudian gazed back to his Yeni who was sharing the same facial colour as his. “Listen, here! Just because you’re handsome and you’re the emperor does not mean you can just kiss anyone!”

The corner of Erudian’s lips twitched upwards. “Then does that mean you’re the only one I can kiss?”

“ _That’s not what I meant!_ ” his Yeni whined as she slapped his chest, earning a groan from Erudian who lowered his hand from his forehead to his chest to soothe the small pain. “What is up with you lately?”

“What?”

“You’ve been acting even stranger! Paintings and gifts. Is this how you treat _all_ of your guests?”

“Well-“

“Also, don’t think I haven’t noticed how you’ve been-you’ve been so…” his Yeni turned away from him. “You’ve been so-so…”

Erudian smiled at the unsettled princess before him and he lifted himself from the bed, making Yeni sit up as well. Erudian barely had the strength to hide the shiver when he felt her against him. He held her right hand with his left, the other going back to her cheek as he let out a word that would describe how he had been acting lately.

“Affectionate?” he suggested, finishing her words and took delight in the further colouring of her face. He chuckled, his hand going from her cheek to her chin, forcing her to look back at him despise her reluctant staring. “Yeni?”

“You’re even calling me that.” She muttered.

“Is there something wrong?” Erudian ignored the pang in his chest. _Was it different now that I had acted so boldly? Would she allow me in calling her that? She did say before that only her family did._

“N-No, nothing’s wrong.” She huffed. “It’s just… Marianne told me of the significance of name calling here in Belgoat.”

 _Marianne?_ His mind churned on the name, trying to recall where he had heard it until he managed to put a face on that name. _The maid. Her handmaiden._

“The custom does not exist in Lebovny, yes?”

“Well, actually it- Wait, hold on stop changing the subject!” his shy Yeni suddenly turned into a frustrated one and Erudian smiled. His love was calm now, well calmer than earlier. “Argh! You, really!”

Erudian continued to take in the sight of his Yeni who was before him, alive and energetic.

**_“You didn’t kill me, Erudian.”_ **

He closed his eyes for a moment, Yerenica’s voice seeming like a blur as he did so. Was it a dream? Was it? It had felt so real. His heart thumped in remembrance of how she held him, how she forgave him despite everything he had done to her. It was a dream, yes. He wasn’t truly sure if she would do the same if he never came back and fixed every wrong he had done before.

But he knew the Yerenica he had grown to know for few months, the Yerenica he had longed for years, would do so.

“-alright? Hey, you’re spacing out! Is this stress? Is something happening? Geez, no matter how many times I ask you again and again you never tell me anything. If this continues, I’ll be doing the same!”

Erudian huffed out a laugh as he listened to her words, his red eyes lightly brimming with tears. Yes, his Yerenica would do the same, no matter how many times it happens.

“Are you laughing?” His Yeni glowered at him but Erudian could only see it as a pout. “You’re laughing again! Argh. You. Really. I worried over nothing and my first kiss was taken! Taken! Gone!”

Erudian tightened his grip on her hand as he tilted his head. “Would you forgive me?” he asked, his heart beating at his question.

“What?” Yerenica titled her head at him, confusion marring her delicate features which seemed to glow from the moonlight which entered his room through the windows and balcony doors.

_Even freshly woken, you’d still look beautiful._

“Would you forgive me?” he repeated, staring into the blue eyes that, for some reason, lit up in the dark. He could almost see and liken them to diamonds or sapphires.

_Blue diamonds would be nice on her._

“Forgive you?” she blinked, her forehead scrunching in confusion. “For the kiss?” she blushed once more.

A light chuckle left his mouth. “Among other things.” He said instead, his thumb rubbing the back of her hand. “So, will you?”

_Please, I need to hear it from you. Even if you are unaware. I want to hear it._

“Well,” his Yeni mused, her eyes straying from him to think. Suddenly, a cheeky smile came to her face. “I will!”

Erudian felt another burden lift itself from his chest and he smiled at his princess who beamed at him. “Thank you.” He said, raising her hand to kiss the back of it. “Thank you.” He murmured to her rose-vanilla scented skin.

He could sense those blue eyes staring at him and he didn’t mind. He wanted for her to look at him and hopefully, she would look at him the same way he looked at her. And hopefully, she knew what it meant.

“Stay with me?” he whispered.

“ _What?!_ ” she screeched.

Erudian smiled at her and moved out of bed. Her eyes followed his movements and he offered his hand to her which she stared back in confusion. Hesitantly, his Yeni took his hand and Erudian helped her stand.

“W-Where are we…?”

“Just here.” Erudian muttered as he took them to the balcony doors, grabbing one of his coat jackets along the way. He opened the doors gently with his other hand and let the cool wind in. He closed his eyes in reminiscence of what happened her before.

This was the place where Raulus had given him another chance. Another chance to correct the wrongs, another chance to be happy, another chance to be with her.

“Thank you.” He whispered below his breath, low enough that his Yeni won’t hear him.

**[You’re welcome.]**

Erudian turned to see a shaking princess and he placed his coat jacket above her trembling figure. His Yeni clutched to the coat and huddled closer to him, to which Erudian wrapped an arm around her to keep her warm.

“Oh.” She let out and snuggled to his coat, unintentionally leaning more to him as well. “It’s warm.” She then eyed him. “Aren’t you cold?”

Erudian shook his head. “I’m fine.” _You’re all that matters to me._

He bathed in the sight of his Yerenica, her body exhibiting luminescence in the glow of the moonlight. She was an ethereal goddess to him, his sky, his sea, his everything. He pressed his nose on her hair and took in her scent.

Roses and vanilla.

_The smell of you will be forever ingrained in my mind._

“Erudian?”

“The sun will be up soon.” He said to her and he looked down on those blue eyes that he loved, blue eyes that he wanted would convey love as well. “Wait and watch with me?”

“Haaa… you’re weird.” She smiled at him but wrapped her arms around his waist, Erudian’s arm around her securing the coat so that it doesn’t fall from her movements. “But, sure.”

Erudian smiled back and let both of his arms hug around her as they turned to see the still dark sky, waiting for the sun that won’t appear for hours yet. Both knew this but didn’t mind. For now they were wrapped with each other.

Erudian wanted to change the memories of this place and the balcony beside it. He wanted to rewrite the story but remember it still. He will never push her away again.

_In your arms, I am content. In your arms, I am safe. In your arms, I am loved._

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

“The… Tower?”

Erudian looked up from his cufflinks to Yerenica who was by the stairs leading to the second floor. Behind her were her maids and Diego who looked at him apologetically. He sighed, knowing that she would find out eventually.

**[You’re going to tell her?]**

_Later._

He stepped towards her as she continued on going down the steps to reach him. Erudian offered his hand to which she took and gripped his tightly.

She scrunched her forehead at him. “Why? Why would you go there again?”

Originally, Yerenica did not need to know that he had went to the Tower without her knowledge back on the day of Eugel Square. But of course, rumours spread and eventually will reach the ear of the princess who felt guilty with the events. Still, Erudian did his utmost best to placate her after that aftermath.

Red eyes scanned their surroundings. The Main Imperial Palace was indeed the residential area of the emperor but it was also the heart of the Imperial City, where majority of the members of parliament and councils gathered.

Erudian was not mistaken when his eyes caught several noblemen and women watching with rapt attention to them. He would explain everything to Yerenica but later when they have some privacy and weren’t eyed by the people of the imperial court. He sighed.

**[Don’t make a scene too much? We don’t know the allies of that blasted bastard down below.]**

“I’ll tell you later, Yeni. But for now, please remain here. I’m sure Countess Iven will be here momentarily.” He said, stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. His Yeni huffed at his response and moved to finish securing his cuff links.

“You won’t be joining me for breakfast?” she asked shyly, a pink tint appearing on her face. A tiny smile crawled up to Erudian’s face when he heard the small question from his princess.

They had been spending their breakfast with each other ever since her move to the Imperial Palace. It had been a week now since she has moved her and it relieved him immensely when he didn’t see the pale signs of whatever Elard had inflicted on her.

“I have an important matter to attend to at the tower.” He tried to soothe her by stroking her cheek with his other hand. “I’ll be back before noon. I’ll join your meal there.”

Yerenica pouted at him but nodded with a resigned sigh. “Okay, but please… be careful.” She shifted, eyes looking down but Erudian saw the worry and fear in them. “You’ll be back by noon?” she asked, concern flooding her features and Erudian nodded, smiling still to reassure her.

“Yes.”

“…” Yerenica had finished fixing his cufflinks but she fiddled with the sleeves. “… You can’t be late.”

Erudian nodded at her words, suddenly recalling where this happened. _When I left her in the Temple to go to the Tower._ He held her hands where it continued to play with his sleeves. _She didn’t say it as I left her with Diego._ _The scene changed but it’s happening… Does that mean…_

Erudian wanted to frown at the sudden thought but didn’t do so with his Yeni in front of him.

“I would never.” He reassured, hiding the panic in his mind and body as he continued to comfort his Yeni, his sweet and lovely Yeni.

“Seriously,” she looked up at him with worried eyes, her hands fiddling still despite being in his grasp. “It’s because there’s something you don’t know, Erudian…” she bit her lip before releasing it to continue speaking, “ So please, keep your promise or I’ll be worried.”

Erudian leaned forward to rest his forehead against hers. He had minded the crowd with her questions regarding the Tower, but when it came to showing his favour, interest, and affection for his Princess, for his Yeni, he will not hesitate. “I promise.”

“Be careful, please.” Her eyes met his. Water meeting fire. Blue skies meeting red orbs. Erudian would be content if he would just continue looking into those eyes. Those precious eyes of his Yeni. “Don’t get injured.”

Feeling the rush of love for Yerenica, he pulled away and played with some loose strands from her hair, a newly gifted crown placed on her head. “You seem to have many worries.” _They’re not useless._ He told himself when he still knew his words. _Not anymore. Not with what we’re facing against here._

Yerenica responded with his words by leaning into his hand, that smile, that worried smile which made her lightly squint her eyes at him was handed to Erudian. He wanted that smile to change. He was thankful that it was for him, but he didn’t want it to be the last sight he had of her before he leaves her to go into dangerous territory.

Erudian gently pushed her head up and bent down to kiss her on the lips.

A small gasp came out of her lips as he did so and Erudian lightly deepened it. Her mouth shut and finally, finally, she gently responded and Erudian felt his heart burst at her gesture.

Nothing mattered to him for a moment. Just for a small fraction of the time the universe had granted him, nothing mattered. Not the crowd of nobility, of servants, of guards. Nothing. Nothing but the warm lips against his and the soft body that he pulled towards him, her chest meeting his as he wrapped an arm around her small waist while both of her hands placed themselves on his chest.

It was glorious, it was heavenly, it was perfect. It was his Yerenica, his Yeni.

He hesitantly pulled away and looked down at those gleaming eyes which shone for him and him alone. She was flustered, the pink turning red from their small act of intimacy. Her hair was lightly disarrayed from his actions but she didn’t mind, both of them didn’t.

“… You...” she let out a small laugh, Erudian could hear the disbelief in it. “What does this mean?”

Erudian placed a kiss on her forehead. “You know what, my Princess.” He smirked faintly at her reddened face at his term of endearment. He pressed one last kiss on her lips, a peck before pulling away. "I'll be back. Wait for me at luncheon?”

His Yerenica gave off a giggle, a giggle that made Erudian feel like he would make it through the day despite his destination. “I’ll wait but if you’re late, I’ll start without you,… Eru.”

Erudian’s eyes widened at the nickname before they softened. “I’ll best be going then, Yeni.”

It was a strange yet awe striking feeling of being sent off by someone, by his Yerenica, as he left the Imperial grounds on Ruid. He turned his head and could still glimpse of that small yet lovely figure dressed in green watching him at a distance.

**[That’s enough romance now. You should be thankful I kept my mouth shut with your lovey-dovey interactions with Crumbs.]**

“…”

**[If you don’t talk to me, I’ll be talking to Crumbs until you reach the Tower. Hmph! Mean child.]**

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

The Tower of Belgoat. A symbol of magic in the most holy empire in the continent of Riker.

_A thorn to my side._

Erudian understood the importance of the tower, of why the people needed the wizards and why it was essential for the empire, but that didn’t mean its existence was bane to him and to many of the emperors before him.

The purges his father made of the dark wizards was clear on that.

The square was still sealed in insurance that there were no more stones rolling around. The vendors were temporarily vacated to another smaller square and only government offices and officials were allowed to work and enter the otherwise empty area which used to bustle with activity. Erudian passed it on his way to the tower with a side-eye, his men following behind him.

When the Tower was in sight, he could see the group of priests already waiting for him by the entrance. It was clear from afar that several wizards were upset with the situation, no doubt thinking about the reputation that the Tower now has. With their own emperor casting doubts in their group, how could they face the people?

_By crawling back to where you came from if you ask me._

Erudian stopped Ruid and got off his horse. He hasn’t even turned when he was immediately confronted by Rosel, behind him Elard with a passive look on her face. Erudian had to hide the satisfied smirk threatening to show on his face. He could see that Elard was doing her best not to show her emotions.

But Erudian was married to the witch for years. And in order to survive, he had to learn.

 _And those eyes, they now show anger._ He wanted to chuckle. _The last time I saw that in those eyes was when I tried to take Deckard to the temple._

It was a day that he had planned ahead, wanting to do with his son what his father did to him but far kinder. Unfortunately, on the very same day, Elard had found out of his plans and refused to let their son, who was only months old at the time, enter the temple. Spouting off some nonsense about him getting ill with the first divinity of the temple.

At the time, Erudian just went with it no matter how upset he was with what happened. He had consoled himself in his vault, with memories of his Yeni to make himself better. But now he was suspicious.

_What had you planned? And now, what are you planning?_

**_Why were you so keen and desperate to marry me?_ **

There could have been many answers to that question. One, autonomy. The empress can grant the Tower autonomy and independence from the Imperial Family. It was the very first thing Elard did before, Erudian going with it back then, ready to give anything so that the blasted witch didn’t think of harming Yerenica and she knew it.

_I refuse to be that weak anymore._

Two, power. No one could ever resist the power that came with being the Empress of Belgoat.

 _No one but Yeni._ Erudian’s heart clenched at the thought of his princess back in the palace. He wanted to hurry home and spend time with her. His hands stopped from their place on Ruid’s reins when he realized what he had thought of the palace.

_Home._

Erudian turned to face the sputtering and rambling Rosel, but the old man’s words fell on deaf ears. He was distracted with his own thoughts of what had happened to his opinion of the large palaces in the center of Brashard.

The Imperial Palace was just that, a palace. Somewhere the Emperor lived and did his duties.

_But now, it’s a place for you and me._

“Your Majesty.”

And like an eastern storm, his pleasant thoughts were shattered by the person who he least wanted to meet. What should have been pink turned red. The liked to see in the snow-white cheeks of his Yerenica, was better than looking at the red figure before him.

“… Lady Elard.”

Hair as red as blood. Lips the same shades as rose. And eyes that were as dark as death itself. It was almost as if Erudian was staring at the purgatory he had been under once more. The emptiness that engulfed him in the palace for four years had returned and was going to take him under—

**_“Don’t be tortured by the past, Eru.”_ **

Erudian took a deep breath, never removing his gaze from the serpent in front of him. He clenched his fists as red met black.

“Welcome to the Magic Tower, Your Majesty.” The lady said, a hand on her chest as she bowed at him, the wizards except for Chernurata Rosel who kept giving uneasy glances to his emperor.

Erudian didn’t respond to the ‘warm’ welcome and continued on his path inside the temple. Perrik, Elard, and Rosel following behind. He didn’t pay them any more attention than what was necessary. He had a mission here and he will finish it before lunch.

The very moment he stepped inside, he felt nothing. He huffed.

Mana and Divinity can never be mixed with each other after all, never could see the other. But they can destroy. His red-violet eyes scanned the dark surroundings despite the morning light outside the tower. He had always found the tower dark, inside and out.

**[---]**

Erudian stiffened when he felt some of his divinity leaving him and touching the walls and floors of the entrance of the Tower.

 _What are you doing?_ He wanted to ask but said nothing. He wasn’t the summoner of Raulus, he couldn’t speak with him in his mind. Instead, Erudian just stepped further inside watching as the divinity felt and prodded the walls.

“Your Majesty, what is this?” her voice echoed through the walls and Erudian resisted the urge to shudder upon hearing it. “An investigation of the Tower? What would the people think?”

“The people would likely think that if the emperor did find nothing, then the Tower is safe.” His red-violet eyes went to the woman who had a stiff feature displayed on her face. “If not, then…” he didn’t bother finishing the sentence and went ahead, going up the stairs.

Heading to where the higher wizards were located. To where Soleia Elard’s study would be.

The divinity continued spreading the building, he didn’t mind. It wasn’t as if it was difficult for him. And with Raulus constantly sending more to his body, he wasn’t having any struggles of any kind. His steps echoed through the dark empty halls of the Tower, ignoring the nervous rambling of Rosel and the soft- Erudian wanted to snort- calls coming from Soleia Elard.

Erudian could feel the small divinity coming from the priests who went in their own investigating. He could almost hear the orders coming from Diego who directed them in what to do. Still, his eyes were focused and---

**[… There’s something…]**

Erudian halted in his movements, making the others stop behind him due to standstill.

“Something?” he muttered underneath his breath, eyebrows scrunching in his confusion. Eyes scanning his surroundings once more, cautious. He then felt it… His divinity clashing with something… something more.

“Your Majesty…? Your Majesty, wait!” Perrik cried behind him as Erudian rushed to the destination of where the interference was.

And the closer he got to the quarters of the higher wizards, the more his suspicions becoming more and more a reality, a truth.

**Slam!**

He opened the first door. Nothing. He slammed another one, and another one, and another. Opening all the doors he could see. The commotion drew the attention of guards, wizards, and priests alike.

“Your Majesty, wait!”

“Emperor!”

“Your Majesty!”

Screams and shouts echoed throughout the usual silent Tower, but with the arrival of the emperor who suddenly decided to smash open the doors of the private studies of the wizards, chaos ensued. He could hear the pleads of Perrik and Rosel to stop, the furious tone of Elard, the shouts and yelps of surprise from the others but nothing would stop-

**[Here. It was here.]**

Erudian’s eyes scanned the empty study, save for the paraphernalia of wizardry. He turned his head to glare at the Head of the Tower and the second-in-command.

**“Whose study is this?”**

Erudian couldn’t resist the feeling of triumph upon seeing the pale and furious stare coming from his former wife.

 _Oh, how the mighty have fallen._ He sent a smug smile at her direction. _If you weren’t so irritating,_ Erudian looked back into the room before setting it in flames with his divinity.

_If you didn’t make me force my hand._

He stared at the burning books, the white flames engulfing the room and burning everything related to mana.

_If you didn’t force me to push her away._

His eyes met black ones.

Red meeting black.

Black and burnt room.

“Bring Lady Elard and the other wizards under her tutelage to the temple. I doubt they’d be able to make a move there.”

_None of this would have happened. But then, where’s the satisfaction in that?_

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

Erudian tapped his fingers as he stared at the piece of paper on his desk. He could feel the twinge of anger but despair clouded over it still.

**[You know it’s not over yet, right?]**

“I know.”

**[You captured the accomplice but not the master.]**

“I know.”

**[And now you’re choosing to focus on that.]**

Erudian sighed and leaned forward to read the paper once more, exasperation filling his features at the sight of the letter sent to him from Lebovny.

**Lebovny wishes for the return of Princess Yereninovica Susuvia Lebovny, not your offer for marriage.**

_And here I thought I would never be rejected in asking permission to court one’s daughter._ He rubbed his aching forehead and leant back on his chair, resting his aching back. _If I had Yeni’s permission, if we were courting, would she be able to convince her father?_

Erudian closed his eyes and let himself have some time for himself.

For the past week and days, he had given his time to his duty and his Yeni. It was fine if it wasn’t taking some slight toll on him. But every moment he had with Yerenica was precious. Every moment that he didn’t have previously.

_Still, despite all of these new memories, it would be nice to have some peace and quiet._

Erudian let himself rest, he didn’t know how long he stayed in this position. Resting and feeling the cool breeze entering his study from the window behind him. The sweet smell of roses let him dream of the princess who was no doubt spending her time with her new-found friend in the form of Countess Iven.

Erudian let himself dream of a life where he was content. Where Yerenica was his wife, the mother of his Deckard, the bright light at the end of the day.

He opened his eyes at the sound of laughter and he stood from his chair to gaze outside the window of his study. There, his Yerenica was, walking with Countess Iven in the Central Gardens, still unaware of the symbolisms of that particular place.

Leaning on the window frame with his arms crossed, Erudian watched the magnificent view of his love from his vantage point. She was wearing her first crown, his favourite crown on her head, and if she had cared to notice during their breakfast, Yerenica would have noticed that they had worn matching outfits.

A knock came and Erudian turned to see Perrik entering the room with a single letter in his hand. “Lady Elard and the wizards are secured at the lower levels of the Temple, sire. Holy Knights have been placed outside their confinement rooms and surround the temple.” His aide said, approaching his desk and placing the envelope on the tray where other unread documents were.

“Also, this letter was misplaced by a new assistant from the

His heart jumped as he quickly grabbed the letter to see the recipient.

**Yereninovica Susuvia Lebovny**

Erudian let out a sigh. _This must be the letter that caused her some distress._ The sender of the message, according to the seal, was her father the king. The only thing Erudian remembered from their conversation back then when he handed her the letter was that her sister gave birth and how worried she was.

 _… Should I let her go see her sister?_ Erudian frowned at the mere suggestion of it but if she wanted to, he will grant that to her.

“Please tell the Princess that I wish to see her.” He muttered to Perrik who bowed and did as he was bid.

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

Pale. She was so pale.

Erudian kept his eyes on his Yeni walking slowly beside him with a tired expression. He had her hand in his elbow and placed a hand on top of hers but somehow, that tired look in her eyes was still there.

 _How much divinity does she need? Am I lacking in some?_ Erudian felt his worry spike. He needed to speak with Raulus later after the evening prayers.

“Yeni,” he softly called and the princess hummed. “Are you alright?”

His Yerenica blinked at him before letting out a bright smile. _A forced bright smile. Like the one before—_

**_“Don’t be tortured by the past, Eru.”_ **

Erudian took a deep breath.

“Ha… You’re also saying it too, Your Majesty.”

His other hand clenched as he walked in a slower pace to adjust to hers. It’s not like she noticed with her energy depleted state. Still, Erudian worried with how she was being. He had been with her during breakfast and he was here now, why was she like this and in the past?

_The past…_

Before, there was something that happened in the grounds of the Imperial Palace. But she was in the Imperial Palace now and Soleia wasn’t able to do anything with that. Still…

“Has there been others who said the same?” he queried. _Who else has noticed? Last time it was Diego and the palace staffs…_

“Ah.” His Yeni turned her and Erudian followed to look at the people behind them who served as a sort of guard or chaperone despite them not courting.

_Yet._

The maid, Marianne bowed her head at her Emperor’s glance while Countess Iven curtsied and smiled at him. Following the two ladies were Perrik who remained nonchalant but cautionary and ready if ever Erudian tells him something.

“The Countess and Marianne said something like that earlier.”

_Earlier. So it happened while I was in the study._

“…” his eyes went to where Bellyugung was, unoccupied other than the servants maintaining it despite the princess not being there. “… Have you visited Bellyugung? The grounds?”

His sweet Yeni blinked up at him, their walk stopping as she turned to his direction. With her so close to him, Erudian was drowned in the scent of roses and vanilla. He wanted to close his eyes and just bathe in where he was right now, his arms twitching to wrap itself around her small waist.

“I…” His Yeni began and Erudian listened. “I didn’t enter the palace but I did walk on the gardens. How did you know?”

“…” Erudian chose to say nothing. Instead, he gave her a smile and leaned down to kiss her forehead, ignoring the gasps from the trio watching them. He wanted to chuckle at the excited sounds from Countess Iven but refrained.

“E-Erudian!” his bride stuttered and he just smiled at her, a hint of relief clouding over his heart when he saw her blushing face replacing the pale one from before. “Y-You-argh!”

This time, he did chuckle and turned to their onlookers. “If you wouldn’t mind, I would like to have a private conversation with the Princess?”

“Yes, Your Majesty.” They replied simultaneously but Erudian did detect the hint of disappointment in the Countess’s voice when she was told she could not watch. Erudian huffed at the noblewoman’s back before returning his attention to his princess.

“You!” she spouted and Erudian blinked. “Y-You- lately- _you._ ”

“Yes, me.” He nodded, an amused tone lacing his voice.

“Ahck—Don’t mock me!” Yerenica let go of his hands and Erudian felt cold where her hand left. “You- argh. Really, I—Haaaa.”

Erudian watched the flustered appearance of his Yeni before he reached for his pockets and clutched the cool metal tightly in his grip. He stepped closer and Yeni’s eyes raised to meet his.

“Yeni,” he whispered and took her hand. “I know… it might be soon for you.”

“What?”

“Please,” he gulped, feeling his face get flushed. “I… let me finish?” when he didn’t hear anything he took a deep breath.

“Yerenica,” he smiled at her. “You are the most beautiful, daring, interesting, strong, and amazing woman I have ever met. I know we haven’t been off to a good start and I know that we have not known each other long, but you have taken my heart and I want to know more of you, more than being a hostage, more than being a guest, more than being a princess.”

He opened his free hand and showed her the silver and ruby work.

“Will you please grant me the honour of courting you, Yerenica?”


	15. PART XV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so happy and flattered with all the kudos and comments in this fanfiction. I hope you aren't disappointed that we are now heading onto a fluffy route.
> 
> Sorry as well for the late upload. You might have noticed that I am publishing other fanfics and prompts of the fandom (I lost a bet as well lmAo) but thank you for understanding and waiting! uwu
> 
> Also, enjoy the chapter everyone!

Erudian wasn’t a man of romance but every now and then, he would read novels that his mother used to love. She would read quietly in her suites, a wishful smile on her face as Erudian played in front of her but he never removed his attention from his mother.

When he was older and alone, he sought comfort in the books that his parents read. His father’s books were more of the law and divinity, history and art. Books that made him a good and great emperor. And Erudian read them, wanting to follow in his father’s footsteps, not wanting to let him down.

But his mother’s books, they always made him feel alone. And the more he read them, the more he found them unrealistic. A man willing to go through hell for a woman, giving his all, doing his best just to make him love her and when he says the words of love and waits for his response, there is always that impending doom of silence.

Erudian didn’t believe it. He was to marry someone he didn’t love in the beginning.

But that changed. Everything changed. It was cliché but now as he stood before the woman he loved, the woman he risked everything for, the woman he went back to time for, and the woman he offered his everything, he knew now that those moments of anxiety that the characters in those novels were incomparable to what he was feeling right now.

Anxiety, fear, defeat, hope. Countless of emotions bubbled in and out and he could do naught but wait.

His eyes were focused on his Yerenica’s wide blue eyes that was on the silver necklace in his hand.

Images of what she wore on her funeral came but whenever those dark thoughts came to mind, he would remember the dream he had. That beautiful dream that let him know what to do whenever he was in that dark path.

**_“Don’t be tortured by the past, Eru.”_ **

Erudian was near breathless and there was a small tremble in his hands that he couldn’t control. His Yerenica seemed to have noticed it as well as she blinked and raised those sky orbs to meet his eyes.

She was silent. So silent and it only made Erudian’s heart beat faster. In the back of his head, he could feel his ancestor’s eyes on him and he was grateful that the diety was silent.

He wanted to scream. He wanted to think of something to fill the empty void of silence in his mind but there was nothing. How could he think? This was more difficult than anything he has done.

He has never been to a battle or a war. There was peace in Riker despite his attack on Lebovny. But this felt like the most important war in his life. The war for her hand, for her love.

When those rosy-pink lips parted, Erudian felt his breathing leave him as he waited and listened.

“You… want to court me?”

Erudian blinked at the response. He expected an answer. “Well, yes. If you will have me?”

Another round of silence and Erudian shifted uncomfortably.

“Why?”

“What?

“Why would you want to court me?”

“I—“ Erudian hesitated. _Does she not want to?_ “I… I think I have stated the reasons why.”

“No, no.” Yerenica covered her flushed face with a hand as she reached out to grab his offered wrist whose hand still held the symbolic necklace. “I was- I was talking to myself actually.” She said with a light sheepish laugh.

Erudian watched the embarrassed princess before him and he reached out his hand to cup her cheek. _Insecurity._ He thought as she raised her eyes, doubt and hope mixing together. _My dear, insecure, princess._

“How could I not want to court you?”

_I thought you wanted me to. Did you not keep asking me to marry you?_

Erudian pushed down his fear for a moment. “Do you not want me to court you?”

“No!” Yerenica shouted and Erudian felt his heart stop. “Yes, I do! I mean- Agh! Wait a minute, wait a minute! Give me a second. Oh my God!”

Erudian watched the flustered and ruffled princess before him. Her blush and blue eyes endearing Erudian more.

“Oh, this isn’t going according to what I thought!”

Erudian chuckled. “What you thought?”

“It’s not like I can explain it to you!” Yerenica waved her hands wildly as if trying to make him understand. “You wouldn’t think it possible! Also, you wouldn’t believe me.”

He was confused with her words but he tried to reassure her. “Yerenica, whatever you tell me, I’m sure it would be the truth.” _Except the thing about me reminding you of your father._ “And that still wouldn’t change the fact that I still wish to court you.” He smiled, leaning to her.

Yerenica groaned, the reddening of her face growing a shade darker. “You’re doing it again!”

“Doing what again?”

“Attacking with that-that handsome face of yours!”

Erudian chuckled once more, his amusement replacing all the creeping doubts and worries. “I’m flattered you find me handsome, Yerenica. And you should have seen this coming. Did I not say you know the meaning of our kisses?”

“Euk—“ she covered her mouth and red cheeks with her hands, her eyes trembling. “Do you… really like me?”

Erudian smiled and took hold of her wrist, pulling her gently to him and embracing her. She let out a surprised yelp but Erudian just continued showing her his affections for all to see as he placed a kiss on her forehead. “I think it can be considered more than that.”

“But-But we’ve only known each other for two months!”

“Hmmm.” Erudian closed his eyes, “I have known you more than that, My Yerenica.”

“Wha-What?”

“So,” he pulled away, smiling with a plead. “Will you let me court you, Princess?”

His Yerenica was trembling in his hold and he feared that he had overwhelmed her, showed her too much but when that bright smile came, when those tears showed joy, he knew he would be happy in this lifetime.

“Yes.” She whispered as she jumped and pecked his cheek. “Yes, I accept your courtship.”

Erudian laughed and carried her in his arms, twirling her and delighting in her giggles and shrieks of happiness. He lowered her and kissed her entire face, his heart bursting with exhilaration and ecstasy. Yerenica clung to lapels of his coat, panting from all the laughing she had made.

Erudian slightly pulled away and placed the silver necklace around her neck. No doubt some marks were left in his hand from gripping it too long and too hard but he didn’t mind. He kissed her forehead and looked down.

Red eyes meeting blue.

Erudian lowered his head as she tilted hers and their lips met in a kiss.

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

“Countess Iven has said so herself! The Emperor has asked for her hand in courtship!”

“Oh, how delightful! An Empress at last!”

“How exciting!”

“They say that Lady Elard has been imprisoned not in the palace but at the temple so that her magic wouldn’t work.”

“The Emperor didn’t want to imprison her in the palace, not wanting to put the Princess at risk.”

“Who knew the Emperor had this side to him. How romantic.”

“Oh, darling, we must send gifts to the Princess, immediately!”

“They say the Emperor gave her jewelleries and crowns!”

“I know a maid who works in the Emperor’s palace and she says that the Princess wears a silver cross with a ruby every day.”

“His first courting gift!”

“Lady Brown is going to hold a ball and is hoping to invite the Princess.”

“My, are we sure that the Emperor will consent to that?”

“A new Empress!”

“What does Lebovny say?”

“A cousin of mine who works there says there has been a response.”

“What did it say?”

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

 **[I’m happy for you, kid.]** Raulus said as they were inside. Yerenica sitting on the chair he had made for her specially if she came more to his study to read. **[This assures your happiness. Now all that’s left is the long fight that will forever seal it.]**

Erudian’s eyes went back to Yerenica who was reading on another book, a book of his mother’s, while sipping on some tea. She noticed his eyes on him and gave him a happy beam, her cheeks flushing and Erudian let the happy warmth drown him as he smiled back in a daze, his eyes going down to the silver necklace shining from the light of the sun entering the room.

 _I’ll fight for this._ His eyes lowered to a summons from Diego to the temple. _I’ll make things right this time._

“Yerenica,” he called out and she hummed, smiling more. Erudian gulped, unhappy that he had to see that beautiful smile turn into worry. “A letter has arrived from Lebovny.”

“Oh!” she gasped and stood, heading over to his desk. “A response then?”

“Yes.” Erudian answered hesitantly as he lifted the letter and handed it to her. “A letter from your father.” He stood and guided them back to the sitting area, holding her hand all the time as she read the latter.

He watched as fear and horror covered her face.

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

 _It was during this time, supposedly, that the nightmares happened._ He watched as the princess lethargically sipped on her tea, dark bags under her eyes. _But I prevented it from happening by having her stay here, but why?_

“Yerenica?” he called from the opposite of the table and his princess hummed and looked at him with red eyes. He pushed down the fear. “Are you…” _having nightmares?_ “Did you sleep well?”

“Ah.” Yerenica winced as she raised a hand to touch the area underneath her eyes. “Is it that obvious?”

Erudian smiled and moved his chair to sit beside her. Yerenica gave him a smile and rested her head on his shoulder. He breathed out as he felt her beside him, felt her in his arms. Felt everything.

Felt the life he never had.

“What kept you up?” he asked in a small voice as he waved away Perrik and Marriane who held small smiles on their faces as they bowed and left the small breakfast room. “Do you want me to summon the doctor?”

“Oh, no.” Yerenica shook her head and sighed, content at his shoulder as Erudian wrapped an arm around her. “I’m just worried.”

Erudian closed his eyes and tightened the hand on her shoulder. _I don’t want to… but if I must—_

“You can go visit your sister, if you like?”

Yerenica stiffened in his arms and pulled away. He had expected a joyous reaction, this was after all what her concern was before to his understanding. But the face that greeted him was fear.

“Are you…” His Yeni paused and shook her head. “Ah, never mind. Anyway, ah, Father- Erudian.” She laughed nervously. “You can’t just send me back. You’ll be in a huge disadvantage. Your only asset to make Lebovny open the road right now is me, am I wrong?”

 _You’re not just an asset._ Erudian sighed and pulled her back to him, his lips going back to her forehead. “It doesn’t matter. I’m sure I can push your father to open the road in other means. And besides, don’t you want to see your sister?”

His princess was silent as she clung to him.

“Yerenica?”

“I… don’t want to be away from you.” She whispered shyly and Erudian felt himself harden at the soft tones on his neck. “I want to stay.”

_“If I say I don’t want to go back, will you let me stay?”_

**_Forever._ **

Erudian closed his eyes and breathed in the scent of roses, honey, and vanilla. “Then stay.”

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

An eerie silence filled the room as two people stared at each other with an overwhelming passion, not of love, but of loathing.

Erudian tapped his finger on the arm of his chair as his red-violet eyes met dark ones.

Nothing. She was saying nothing.

**[Do something!]**

Erudian sighed. “I’d like to get this over with as quickly as possible. I have much important matters to attend to.”

The red woman in white temple clothes sneered at him. “Like what? Woo a princess?”

“I consider that important, yes.” He nodded with an impassive face, not showing anything but letting her know where his interests lay. “Have you nothing to say?”

“What else is there to say for me? I have been accused of black magic and imprisoned without a trial. It would seem that the justice of Belgoat is appalling.”

“The justice of Belgoat is swift and right, Lady Richards.” He said and watched as the woman stiffened at her name. “Well? That is your name, is it not? Richards?” Erudian rested his back on his chair.

There was no response from the lady but there was a hint of question in her eyes. “Powerful as he may be in terms of magic, Chernurata Rosel is a weak man.” He sighed, eyes opening to land a fierce stare to the woman who didn’t back down. “Now tell me, what is your plan? Why are you allied with him?”

“…” Erudian let out another frustrated sigh.

He wanted nothing else than to go back to the palace and be with Yerenica who was no doubt being spoiled once more by Countess Iven with gifts and being introduced to some of her closest friends. Erudian wanted to drag her away from them and keep her in his arms but here he was.

 _What to do… What to do… What… to…_ Realization hit.

When they married, she may not have cared for him but there were so people she kept close to her. One, of course, was their son, Deckard. And the other,

_Were the wizards of the tower and the people of the Richards’ Estate._

He let a small happy smile emerge from him, small enough that she didn’t see.

“You care for your people.” A flinch and a glare. “It’s understandable. You grew up with them.”

“…”

“I care for Yerenica, you know this.” He shrugged. “And I am willing to do everything I can to make sure she is safe.” He leaned forward to the table, hands clasped to each other as he looked at Elard in the eye. “I am offering you this choice, _once._ Tell me everything and no harm will come to your people.”

Soleia Elard scoffed. “And what of myself? What have you planned for me, _Your Majesty_?”

“Any harm that will come to you is highly dependent on your words. So choose carefully. Who do you serve? Why do you do it? What are your plans?”

“…” a thoughtful look.

“He can’t reach or hear you. This is the Temple of Raulus, the place of utmost divinity. You know that already, don’t you? You haven’t been able to use your mana, after all.”

“…”

“I am not a patient man, Lady Elard.”

“… Hades.” She looked up at him, a look of exhaustion in her face. “God of the Underworld.”

**[Hmmm.]**

_You knew from the beginning. Don’t bother in sounding so surprised._ He leaned on his chair once more. “And why?”

“He said he wanted to go back. He wanted to go back to Judetta. Revenge, he said.”

Erudian nodded his head in understanding. “And in order to do that, he will need the most powerful divinity on land. Me.” he concluded.

“Yes.” She glanced away. “The plan was to have a… son with you. A son that has both mana and divinity, to be the most powerful being on land that may be able to control Judetta and Lamordi.”

 _Deckard._ Erudian couldn’t breathe. His hands became white as he clenched on them. _They were going to use my son for this retched plan._

**[Calm down or you’ll frighten her and we’ll lose her.]**

He reined in his anger. The thought of his son, his boy, being used like that made him sick. “And what of me? What are your plans for me?”

“Kill you, obviously, when the time comes.” She said plainly with a smile. “Your body will then be used by Hades into entering Judetta.”

_Pathetic._

“You know that can never happen. A body of divinity with a soul of mana.”

She shrugged. “It was worth a shot.”

“…” Erudian didn’t say anything but stood, wanting to leave the room and take in some fresh air of the temple.

“My people.”

Erudian stopped, his hand on the door as he lightly glanced back at the person that once used to be his wife.

“You said no harm shall come to them.”

“Yes.” He nodded. “Until they act otherwise.” Erudian finished and open the door, closing it behind him.

He took in the fresh air and closed his eyes.

“Your Majesty?” Schumart called out in worry and Erudian glanced at him. “Are you alright?”

 _No._ Erudian collapsed on the windows of the temple, his entire body trembling. _No._

**[Hey!]**

Erudian covered his mouth with a hand, feeling the bile rising in his throat. _Deckard, gods, my boy._

His son, his precious son. Erudian may have become a father, something inevitable, but he had become a father that he didn’t want to be. He was cold towards his son. He tried. Gods, he tried. But the more Elard drew him away, the more Erudian distanced himself.

And the thought of that smiling toddler who held unto the buttons of his jacket being played by his own mother and the God of the Underworld, it was too much for him to bear. Even if he was a father that never understood his own son. He never understood, but he was still the child’s parent. And like it or not, he loved Deckard in his own way.

“Deckard…. Gods…” he mumbled, feeling sick and wanting to throw up.

**[He’s going to be fine.]**

“No…” he closed his eyes. “I did this to him.”

“Your Majesty?!” a concerned Schumart and Perrik approached him. “Your Majesty!”

“Call a doctor!”

“A healer!”

“Someone prepare a room!”

“The Princess! Call the Princess!”

 _Yeni._ He gasped out as he rested his cold hear on his pale hand. _Yeni. I have to get back to Yeni._

He pushed himself away from the window and stumbled, Perrik catching him.

“Sire!”

“Perrik,” he muttered, forcing down his breakfast. “the palace. I have to get back to the palace.”

“It would be best if you rest, Your Majesty.” Schumart said on the other side. “You cannot travel in this state.”

“A carriage then!” he pushed Perrik away and tried to walk on his own. “I _will_ go back to the Palace if that is the last thing I’ll do!”

“Your Majesty, please!” Schumart begged beside him. “You’ll only worry the Princess.”

Erudian paused and glared at the priest. _He knows what to use, huh._ He thought when he saw a hint of relief on the brunette’s face.

“Please, rest here in the Temple. We will have a room prepared for you. We can summon the Princess, if that is your wish?”

“…” _Let Yeni come here?_ Erudian hesitated. _It’ll be dangerous. Mana is everywhere from here to the Palace._

**[Oh, bring her here!]**

_Tsk._ Erudian thought rolling his eyes as he followed Schumart to her room. _I’m not your kid._

**[Hmph! Mean child. I’ll tell Crumbs!]**

Erudian stiffened and turned to the ceiling. “Wait!”

“Your Majesty?”

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

He returned to the palace an hour later in a carriage, his thoughts still plagued by Deckard and the words of Elard. Erudian still couldn’t imagine what his son would have been if he had not left the timeline. If he had stayed there and continued to wallow in his despair of losing Yerenica.

**_“Don’t be tortured by the past, Eru.”_ **

Erudian could feel a whimper, wanted to let out a cry of pain, but restrained it with Perrik in the same carriage as him. _I’m trying. I’m trying. It’s just so hard._

“Your Majesty, are you truly alright?” Perrik asked in front of him, a look of concern.

Erudian huffed, looking out the carriage windows. “I’m fine.”

Once they entered the Palace grounds, he was greeted by the sight of Yerenica waiting by the entrance with the Ivens and her maid. Erudian felt a lurch of guilt in him when he saw the pale and worried face on his princess.

Erudian opened the carriage door as Yerenica rushed down the stairs. “Erudian, are you okay?” she hugged him and Erudian sighed in relief at the feel of her in his arms. He took in the vanilla and rose scent of her hair and just embraced her. “Erudian.”

“A moment?” he muttered to her air.

“… Sure.” She whispered and snuggled to his chest. Erudian felt some of his divinity getting sucked into her body and he squeezed her even more.

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

**As previously said, Lebovny wishes for the return of Princess Yereninovia, not your request for courtship and marriage.**

Erudian sighed and dropped the letter to his desk. Lebovny was still unwilling to let him have their precious princess and negotiations for the Glucaman Road were slowing down.

 _Does it matter still?_ He huffed. _The Tower’s barely functioning right now with the investigation._

Only a few handfuls of wizards were permitted to keep the Tower working but even those few were always kept in check by Holy Knights who were there all around the clock. The Tower was a dangerous place that was occupied by the God of the Underworld, of course Erudian wouldn’t just turn the other cheek.

**[You can just marry her, you know? I wouldn’t mind and I don’t think she will.]**

Erudian’s eyes went to Yerenica who was embroidering on her chair, Marianne standing beside her and keeping an eye on her princess’s fingers, making sure to act quickly if she were ever injured. Erudian paused when a knowledge came to his mind.

 _She hailed from Southern Lebovny._ He recalled. _No wonder she wished to serve Yeni and was loyal to her._

Erudian let a moment to think on what happened to the maid when Yerenica went home.

Marianne Levasilla continued to work in the Imperial Palace and whenever it was time to clean the empty Bellyugung, she would volunteer. Erudian didn’t mind it all. Not until everything happened. It was obvious that the young lady had grown fond of Yerenica and his princess reciprocated the fond affection.

“Ah!”

Erudian looked and saw Yerenica biting her lip, hand holding her bleeding finger.

“Yeni.” He stood and approached her, smiling softly at the tears in her eyes. “It’s alright. It’s not that big.”

“Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.” She pouted at him as Marianne took out a handkerchief and pressed it on the small wound. “You two fuss too much. As you said, it’s not that big.”

“Doesn’t mean I shouldn’t worry.” He teased to which she giggled. Erudian sat beside her and took the handkerchief from Marianne’s hands and pressed it gently.

“Well? Aren’t you going to tell me?”

“Hmmm?” Erudian hummed, concentrating on her wound.

“The letter?”

He halted and looked up at her, seeing the nervous look in her face, he sighed. “Your father refused.”

“… I see.” She let out a sigh of her own. “Perhaps I should write a letter then? You did let me write last time”

“Hmmm.” He nodded, eyes on the silver and ruby necklace she wore every day, despite it not matching her clothes sometimes. “Perhaps.” He then looked at the maid. “Do you mind handing me that box over there?”

“Of course, Your Majesty.” Marianne headed to the desk and picked up the paper-wrapped package for Yerenica. Erudian lifted the handkerchief, seeing it has stopped bleeding, and took it from her.

“Ha, Eru, you really don’t need to give me another gift. I must have received hundreds of gifts by now, from you and the people.”

It was chaotic the days after their trip to Eugel Square. The gifts from the aristocrats, guilds, and even commoners came and every one of them have to be checked and tagged. His kind Yeni wanted to give them something personal in return but had trouble in looking for gifts as she didn’t know any of them. Erudian suggested some handwritten cards and his Yeni accepted the offer.

She had spent hours and hours in her room writing small words of gratitude and well wishes, making sure each of them had something different.

To the nobles, she offered a meeting to which Erudian reluctantly accepted but kept it to a minimum per day. To the guilds, Erudian had to step in made sure to step in and send his regards as well. And for the commoners… Erudian smiled at the memory.

_“Oh, what should I give them?” she stressed over one morning. “Should I go meet them as well?”_

I don’t think my heart would be able to handle that. _Erudian thought as he sipped on some tea._ _Still, he opted to listen to what her thoughts were first before making his own suggestions._

_“Some of them came from the children of the orphanage. It would be nice if I could go and visit them.”_

_Erudian nodded. “Another day when I have time.”_

_“You will be coming?”_

_“Of course.”_ I can’t let you out of my sight for that long.

_“Oh, I think the children will be pleased to hear that then. Now, what about the others?” she hummed in thought and Erudian once again waited for her mind to speak. “Ah, it would be good if I had some money right now.”_

_Erudian paused his drink to look at her. “Money?”_ What does she plan to do? _Erudian shrugged._ If she wants money, I can give it to her easily.

_“Well, some of the commoners might be in need? So, I want to give them some. Can I write to my father about that?”_

_Erudian huffed at his princess with a smile. “Why bother?”_

_“What?”_

_“You’re staring at the richest man in Belgoat.”_

Erudian accepted the box from Marianne, a fondness in his heart for his princess. _You’d make a wonderful Empress, my love._ He stared at the curious face of his princess. Without another word, he opened the small box, delighting in the sounds of awe from his Yerenica.

A pink crystal rose laid in the middle of blue velvet. The light from the window making it shine and reflect.

A perfect representation of his Yerenica.

“E-Eru…”

“Here.” He took it out and gave it to her. Erudian wanted to chuckle at how she seemed so nervous to hold it.

“T-This is—“

“I had it made days ago. I couldn’t forget that sunrise in my head.” He leaned to her and kissed her forehead. “You are my rose, Yerenica. My crystal rose who shines with the morning.”

His Yerenica blushed at him, her mouth opening and closing with sounds of shock coming out. They barely registered that Marianne had left the two alone as they were stuck in their own world.

“You’re spoiling me.” she muttered, looking down at her crystal rose. “But it’s pretty. Thank you.” She smiled shyly. Erudian smiled, content…

Until she kissed him on the cheek.

Erudian stiffened and blinked at her while she pulled away with an embarrassed look.

“It’s unfair how you have so much confidence in giving kisses.”

He laughed and cupped her cheeks. “Here’s a secret.” He leaned closer to her, their eyes drawn to each other as she smiled at him. “I’m always nervous.”

Erudian finished his words with a kiss and it felt like home.

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

“How do I stop him?”

Elard tilted her head, arms crossed before her. “Why?”

Erudian let out an irritated sound across her. “I believe I am the one making the questions here, Lady Elard.” A small twitch in her lips.

“That’s what you think. But unless I am satisfied, you’re not getting any help from me.”

“Freedom is not an option for you.”

Soleia Elard let out a frustrated sigh. “And you don’t think I knew that, Your Majesty? I knew from the moment you burned my study and took me here that my freedom does not matter.” Her black eyes met his. “What matters to me right now is the Estate and the people there as well as the Tower and the Wizards.”

“And I have stated previously that unless your wizards and your people act out of line, no harm shall come to them.”

They stared at each other. Him, with the most powerful divinity and descendant of Raulus, and her, a strong magician who summoned Hades.

 _If you weren’t so keen on your revenge, who knows what kind of marriage we would have._ Erudian shrugged the thought away. _I don’t even want to be married to you anyway. No doubt, the same runs to your head._

“Well?”

Soleia huffed. “I don’t know. There are certain possibilities in my mind but I truly don’t know, Your Majesty.”

Erudian glared at her, his mouth open to tell her to think more about it when a voice came to his mind.

**[Even I don’t know how.]**

He huffed. _Well, now what?_ Erudian turned to look outside the window, thinking of ways and answers.

“I need a permanent solution to this problem. I don’t want him to come and go as he pleases.”

“But Raulus can?”

Erudian turned his head swiftly to her, a glare filled with warning. “Unlike Raulus, he doesn’t strive for chaos and death.”

**[Yeah! Tell her! I’m the God of _Peace, Prosperity and Ferti--_ ]**

“No matter how annoying he is.”

“Pardon?”

**[Hey!]**

Erudian rolled his eyes and crossed his arms to her as well. “Can’t you just summon him and trap him? By summoning him, he is bound to you and your powers.”

Elard raised her brows. “You want me to trap him?” she tilted her head in consideration. “I had thought of that but what’s in it for me?”

Erudian tapped his fingers on the table. “Your life?” he retorted to which she snorted.

“Fair enough.”

A knock and the door opened to reveal Schumart. He gave them an easy smile. “Forgive me, My Lady, Your Majesty, but you have asked me to remind you when the time is up.”

“Ah.” Erudian stood, recalling he needed to make arrangements with the orphanages and some nobles in the afternoon. He sighed. _The things I do for love._

“Lady Elard,” Schumart spoke up, “I will be escorting you to your room.”

“How lovely.” Elard said with that slow smile of hers and Erudian twitched his brows. Eyes flicking back and forth to Elard and Schumart.

He knew that damned smile. He had been the target and victim of those black eyes for years. Erudian let out a silent groan when he saw more than that on those black eyes directed towards his future Archbishop. Erudian grabbed Schumart’s arm and dragged him behind him, protecting his Yerenica’s friend from the blasted snake who only let out an amused smile at his reaction.

 **“Radin,”** he called out and the knight appeared at the door momentarily. “Please escort Lady Elard to her quarters.”

“Your Majesty?” Diego questioned behind him in confusion while Elard pouted at him.

“I thought you were going to join me for tea, Your Holiness.”

 _What?_ Erudian sent an appalled look to Schumart who didn’t notice it, _Raulus bless his heart,_ and smiled— _Raulus, really, bless this man_ —at the woman.

“Perhaps later, Lady Elard. It would seem that His Majesty has something to ask of me.”

“Yes.” Erudian blurted out and moved the man to where Elard once occupied. “I have something important to discuss with Schumart. Please leave us.”

Soleia Elard stared at him before letting out a scoff. “Don’t pretend. I know what you’re going to talk about.” She said before leaving with the blond holy knight. Once they have left and the doors were shut, Erudian turned to the priest.

“ _Elard?_ ”

“Pardon?”

“What is this- this tea with _Soleia Elard?_ ”

“Ah.” The brunette smiled at him. “I had thought she would be lonely so I would often give her some company.”

Erudian stared unbelievingly at the man. “Raulus help him.”

“Pardon?”

**[I’ll… try.]**


	16. PART XVI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY MONTHSARY RAWR (my fingers were twitching to post this homacod)

Red-violet eyes met each other in a fierce stare. One alive, the other made out of rubies.

**[… What?]**

Erudian huffed and crossed his arms. “I’ve had thought of an idea. I wonder if it will work.”

 **[Say it then.]** for a moment, Erudian thought the statue looked like it was pouting. **[I would have read your mind but I don’t think you’d like that.]**

 _Thank goodness you know._ Erudian sighed. “I have spoken with Elard.”

**[And? Spit it out. I was busy. I don’t have time to gossip.]**

He barely managed to keep in the scoff lurking behind his tongue. _You always have time for gossip._

“The Richard Family had tried to summon Hades for generations. For some reason, Elard managed to do it successfully and she thinks it had something to do with her mana capabilities.” Erudian shared to his ancestor. If one opened the doors to the prayer room, they would have thought he had gone insane.

Soleia Elard has been quite cooperative ever since her time in the temple and after they had spoken. In return for the safety of her people and the wizards, she’ll do anything perhaps.

 _Perhaps… Schumart has something to do with it as well._ Erudian nearly shuddered, feeling sorry for his future Archbishop who no doubt knew nothing of how the witch stared at him.

**[Where are you going with this?]**

Erudian rolled his eyes and stepped closer to the altar. “Hades… wanted to go back to Judetta.”

A tense silence.

“You did say get to the point--!” Erudian felt strong divinity push him lightly, making him bump into the wall beside the altar. “You—“

**[So, he has been planning to come back here, huh?]**

Erudian’s eye twitched at the audacity of his ancestor to push him and ignore him. He huffed and set it aside for now, remembering how he too in the past ignored the words of his ancestor who was an incessant annoyance to his ears.

**[And how does he plan on doing that?]**

A calloused hand stopped as it placed itself on the wall for support and Erudian stared at it. “Me.”

**[Pardon?]**

“He wanted Soleia to lure me, kill me, and he will use my body to open the gates of Judetta.” He turned to the grey statue. “If that will even work.”

**[Don’t look at me like that. How would I know? None of my descendants have tried it. And besides, it was his own fault for trying to hurt my cuties.]**

… _Cuties?_ Erudian didn’t even bother to ask but he was sure it was mankind he was speaking of. He could feel a head ache coming in. _What type of god…_

**[So? What’s your plan? What can I do?]**

Erudian thought of his words before speaking. “Hades has a summoner.” He began and could sense the god understanding where he was going with this. “I believe it is only fair if you have one as well.”

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

Erudian sighed the moment he was out of the prayer room only to halt at the sight in front of him.

Dressed in a white lace dress, her hair placed on her shoulders, and a gentle and shy smile on her face was Yerenica.

“Yeni?” he blinked, stepping closer to his woman with a surprised look on his face which no doubt was the cause of her giggles. “What… How… What are you doing here?” Erudian asked as he took her in his arms and rested his chin on top of her head as she let out a hum.

“You’ve been coming here a lot lately and you never tell me why.” She pulled away her head to pout at him. “What have you been up to anyway?”

“Ah.” _I can’t say that I have been meeting Elard now, can I?_ “I’ve been dealing with the Tower.” _Damn._

His Yeni blinked up at him in confusion and fully pulled away. Erudian keeping a grip on their hands. “The Tower? Here? In the Temple?”

Erudian sighed as he looked to the sides where a small crowd has gathered and looked at them. He turned back his attention to Yerenica. “Where is Countess Iven?”

“Oh,” she turned her head, no doubt looking for the golden-haired woman. “She was with me a while ago. She was the one who accompanied me here.”

“Alone?” Erudian narrowed his eyes. He didn’t like the thought of her leaving the palace without any form of security, not with the god of the underworld lurking who knows where now.

“Oh, no.” his Yerenica smiled and stepped closer to him, perhaps sensing his agitation. “Perrik did try to tell me not to come here but the palace has been… a bit stifling and some time outdoors might be good?” she said nervously. “Please don’t be angry at Perrik. He’s the one who sent some knights with us saying it will placate you or something like that.”

Erudian let out a breathe. _I have to thank Perrik and increase his pay._ His eyes went back to his Yerenica was staring openly at the closed doors of the priests’ prayer room.

 _… Has the palace truly been stifling for you, my love?_ He let out a smile that caught her attention.

“I recall you never really saw everything of Eugel Square. Do you wish to continue our tour? It’s safe now.” _This time, I promise you._

A bright smile came to him. “Really?” she said, breathy with excitement. “I would have thought I could remain here with you. Are you sure we can’t stay here? It’s fine with me. I’ll be in Diego’s—“

“There would be no need for that.” Erudian interrupted immediately. The thought of her in Schumart’s room, on Schumart’s couch, with Schumart alone. _Not on my watch._ “I’ve finished my work here. We can go to the Square now. Do you have anything you want—“

 **[Watch it.]** Erudian blinked in confusion before hearing another voice.

“Oh my, hello.”

Both of them turned at the feminine voice and saw red hair and dark eyes. Erudian clutched Yerenica to his chest and could feel her growing cold and a slight tremble in her body. Erudian grit his teeth and glared at Elard.

 **“Lady Elard.”** He growled, **“I would have thought you were in your quarters.”**

He didn’t need to use divinity in his words, but he could not restrain the anger. His Yerenica was here, for him, with him, and the blasted woman just had to come and interrupt them. _She may be on my side this time, but alliances change. I trust her but not fully._

A smile. Amusement lacing her eyes and lips. “Forgive me, Your Majesty, Your Highness.” She curtseyed to them, hands on her white temple clothes that somehow did not look fitting for a woman that emitted darkness itself. “I was looking for Sir Schumart.”

**[Ah, geez.]**

“D-Diego?” Yerenica whispered and flinched when dark eyes went to her. She quickly looked down at Erudian’s chest while he stared at her fiercely.

 _Fuck. Is that jealousy?_ The thought almost made him laugh if it weren’t for the fact that his Yeni was scared in his arms. His hands left her arms and went to her back, shielding her from any hard. _You’re safe in my arms, Yeni. Don’t worry. Don’t be scared._

**_“-we wouldn’t want something to happen to the young princess now, don’t we?”_ **

_No._ He gulped quietly as Elard stared at Yerenica who shifted uncomfortably. Erudian let out some divinity to reassure her and remind Elard where she is. _It will never happen again._

**_“Don’t be tortured by the past, Eru.”_ **

He looked down at the slowly calming princess in his arms and rubbed her back in comfort. _I won’t. I promise. It will be hard. But I will try for you._

 **“Schumart. Prayer room.”** He called out and felt the priest rushing to their direction. “This will not happen again, Lady Elard. I do not like the thought of you walking wherever you wish.”

A tilt, a smile. “Very well, Your Majesty. As you command.” She said before turning her head at the sound of approaching footsteps.

Diego Schumart stopped behind Soleia Elard, panting from his hurry with some light perspiration on his brow and forehead. “Lady Elard, I will escort you to your room.” He said, still out of breathe but still with that smile on his face.

“Diego.” His Yerenica called out and yellow eyes went to his princess.

“Oh my, Princess.” The priest smiled before bowing to them. “Forgive my discourtesy in now knowing you were here.”

His Yeni pulled out from his hold with a happy smile. “It’s so good to see you again, Diego. You have stopped visiting the palace.” Her eyes went momentarily to the red woman in white. “I did not know you were so busy here.”

An impassive look came to Soleia Elard’s face. Dark eyes went to Erudian and he glared, to which the woman sent back with a smirk of her red lips. “It would seem that His Majesty does not share anything to his future wife. How sad.”

Erudian grit his teeth at her, his glare fiercer but it halted, froze, when he noticed Yerenica tense next to him. _Damn her!_

**[Calm down, now. Calm down. Sort your priorities first.]**

_Yerenica._ He thought as he stepped closer to her, wrapping his arm around his shoulders as he sent another warning glare to Elard who just kept smiling in amusement. _Yerenica will always be my priority._

Erudian had been through hell for more than four years. Watching the woman he loved leave his sight, hearing nothing of her, nothing except for the death, for the loss, for the pain. He will never forget what was important, what mattered most.

The thought of everything that had happened going to happen will forever be constant but he will not let it make it falter his steps. He will not be tormented by the past. He will not be tortured by the past.

His light, his princess, his Yerenica was beside him.

Erudian’s mouth was ready to burst the flames of curses for the woman but then his Yerenica spoke and he was once again reminded, that though his Yeni had a carefree attitude, beneath that pretty face, those beguiling eyes, and silky hair, was a smart woman.

“Thank you for your concerns with our relationship, Lady Elard.” A smooth voice spoke. “But any trouble in our relationship should be brought into the light by us alone, and not by you.”

There was a hint of anger in her voice, anger he had never heard except for the time it was mixed with embarrassment and exasperation when he had given her a kiss, their first kiss in both lifetimes.

Silence followed the hallway after Yerenica’s words, the chatter from the unaware crowd gathering in the temple courtyard and the subdued whispers of some on-lookers could be heard but for Erudian, there was a calm silence for him and his Yerenica.

In his grasp, she still had a small tremble and he could see within the corners of his eyes how her hands, which were on her front, were clenched tightly with one another. She was scared, she was nervous, but she held herself and it made Erudian proud.

His Yeni, no matter how many lifetimes, will always be a strong woman. A fighter to the death. He closed his eyes to purge away to those thoughts.

_Don’t be tortured by the past. Don’t be tortured by the past._

Schumart glanced nervously between the three of them. Of course, he didn’t let it show on his face or body but Erudian had known the priest long enough to see the change in those yellow eyes.

**[Give my poor man a break, will you?]**

Erudian was tempted to roll his eyes if it weren’t for the fact that Elard might take that they were for her. _But then again, it wouldn’t be a bad idea, not really._

Finally, Elard broke the silence with another smile and curtsy. “Pardon me, Princess, Emperor, I had forgotten my place and seem to have offended both of you with my words. I ask for you forgiveness.” She said, eyes directed to the floor.

Erudian looked to his Yerenica who was looking at Elard. She sighed and huffed.

“Say something.” She whispered, a tint of red in her voice. “I did enough already.”

Erudian let out a light snort, wanting to huff in laughter. She was strong, but still, his Yeni was shy. _And I would change nothing of you, my love._ He pulled her closer to his body. _And I’m proud seeing the different sides of you._

Erudian turned his attention to the priest. “Schumart, please escort Lady Elard to her room.”

A kind smile. “Of course, Your Majesty. Princess.” He bowed to them before turning to Elard. “Please, my lady?” he said, his hand raised to the direction of the hall.

Elard removed her gaze from them to Schumart. Dark eyes looking at the face of the priest before landing on his open palm. A smile came to her eyes and lips. “Very well, Sir Schumart.” She said before placing her hand on his and dragging him away. The priest sputtering and protesting.

 _Raulus in Judetta, what have I done?_ Erudian sighed before focusing his attention to Yerenica. “Shall we leave?”

There was a look in her eye but before Erudian could decipher it, it vanished and was replaced by a bright smile on her face.

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

Erudian never spent that much on himself. Perrik always handled his clothing and most of the jewels and brooches he used were passed down from his ancestors. He didn’t think of what suited him best or what else. He was not a man of fashion and the royal seamstress and Perrik handled it fairly enough.

But he couldn’t help spend money on his Yerenica who was always awed with whatever she could find in the square. From the highest quality of dresses, to the small white bunnies that were being sold.

And never, in his lifetime, did Erudian think he would be in a seamstress’ shop.

 _Why… are there so many laces…?_ His eyes squinted at the catalogue he was given with designs of the latest fashion. Lace, apparently, was a trend nowadays. _I never knew you could design many things in a different manner._ Erudian raised his hand to massage the middle of his temples.

Yerenica had been eyeing a blue dress in the shop with gold embroideries. Erudian caught her looking at it and suggested that they go in. Apparently, the shop was a popular one amongst the nobility and they were met inside with the shocked and curious gazes of the noble women who immediately bombarded them.

Erudian had to call a guard or two to help him placate them and the head seamstress had to place him and Yerenica on the second floor of the shop for privacy.

He sipped on his tea as he sat on his chair before looking outside the window of the second floor. People were now flocking outside the shop and some guards stationed at the door barricaded them. He could also hear the women giggling and gossiping on the first floor thanks to the interior balcony.

“Oh my, could it be they are shopping for a wedding dress?”

“Didn’t they have one made last time?”

“How charming of the emperor, spoiling his future wife already.”

Giggles.

“Well, they did say a happy wife is a happy life.”

More giggles.

Erudian hummed thoughtfully as he leant on a chair, waiting for Yerenica to come out with her new dress. _A happy wife is a happy life, huh?_ He pondered. _Should I buy her more dresses then?_

His face quickly reddened as he held up his hand to his embarrassed features. _What am I even saying? We’re not married._ A pause before a smile. _Well, not yet anyway._

“Erudian?” an angelic voice called out and he lifted his gaze to see her in white.

Erudian couldn’t move nor could he shift his gaze away. It felt like he stopped breathing and everything was just her, only her, only his Yeni. His Yeni who smiled and held him, his Yeni who made his days brighter and brighter. His Yeni, his Yerenica, his Yereninovica.

She was in white, lace and flowers made out of silk dripping her dress and body. She was walking towards him and Erudian wishes, dreams that this was something else. That they were in the temple and that he was waiting for her in the altar.

He could see her holding a boquet of pink and white roses, he could see the crown on her head, the ring on her finger, the smile on her face.

How long had he dreamt of that? How many nights had he prayed, wished, and dreamt of seeing her in a white and walking down the aisle, taking his hand in hers? Years and years, he went on and on, thinking of her, his mind and heart full of her. He dreamt that the black was blue, that the red was pink.

_Roses, honey, and vanilla._

“Erudian.” She called. “Erudian?”

A smooth hand touched his calloused ones. “Erudian, are you alright?”

“Yes,” he whispered, eyes still a daze at the glimpse of beauty before her.

“Are you sure?” worry flashed in those deep blue orbs that hypnotized him. “You did have a busy morning after all.”

Erudian finally managed to gather the strength he needed and stood, wrapping her in his arms and placing a kiss on her forehead. “I’m perfect.”

A laugh. A beautiful, serene, and calming laugh that reminded him she was here and that she was real, that she wasn’t just a fragment of his imagination. “Is that all you needed? Me? In your arms?” she asked with a sly and teasing grin as she encircled her arms around his waist. “Who would have thought that the Emperor of Belgoat is a clinger and a hugger?”

Erudian smiled and kissed the top of her head. “I only need you, my Yerenica.” He whispered to her. “I only need you.”

Those blue eyes met his red ones. Erudian could see the confusion, the joy, the embarrassment, and—his heart pounded and thundered—the love.

He leant down and kissed her lips.

It was hardly the place, hardly the time. The seamstress and her assistants left in a rush after seeing their affections, red-faced, but Erudian didn’t mind. The place, the room, the atmosphere, the noise. He didn’t mind. He had her in his arms, safe and alive, lovely and loving, happy and whole. His Yerenica.

Erudian pulled away and looked down, smiling in his happiness. “Do you want this dress? What happened to the blue one?” he asked, hands on the silky hair he loved. “Anything you want, Yerenica, it will be yours. Anything.”

“Ah, really. You’re being weird but thank you.”

He didn’t notice that though she was smiling, though she was happy, there was an unsettled feeling inside her.

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

Erudian sipped his wine quietly as he read the monthly reports from a merchant’s guild. Beside him was Yerenica in her own wingback that matched his. She embroidered on a handkerchief as they both sat silently in front of the fireplace of the living room in the royal suite.

It had become some sort of an unnamed nightly routine of theirs after Yerenica had accepted his courtship. They would end their evening by spending time with each other, sometimes talking about their day, sometimes saying nothing at all. Of course, they weren’t alone.

Marianne stood by the door quietly, waiting for any command while acting as Yerenica’s chaperone. In the day, when Marianne was doing her duties, Clarisse would watch over them in his study when Yeni joined him. Erudian briefly wondered how Lebovny was reacting to this.

He knew that some aristocrats would have to persuade their king to accept his proposal and his relationship with Yerenica as whether they like it or not, it is beneficial for them. Their princess would become the empress of the most powerful empire in Riker and any conflict they may have with the Glucaman Road will be resolved .

On the other hand, he could understand the outrage. She was kidnapped, taken from her family, and some would think she was being forced to accept the hand of the emperor for peace or because he had threatened her to do so.

 _As if I could do something like that to Yerenica._ He scowled lightly at the thought. In the corner of his eyes, he noticed that Yerenica had stopped her embroidering and was staring at the flames with a troubled look.

Erudian didn’t like the sight of it on her. She should be a woman with no troubles and burdens. His Yerenica was a bird who sang to the wind. “Yeni? Is there something wrong?”

There was a nervous gulp from her before she turned to look at Marianne. “I’m sorry, Marianne but can you give us some privacy for a moment? I wish to say something to Erudian…”

By then, there was a tense atmosphere in the room and Erudian placed down the papers and wine on the small table beside his chair, knowing something serious was at hand. Marianne sensed it too as she murmured a reply and left the room quietly.

“… Yeni?” he sat up, his body leaning towards her. He prayed that his nervousness was kept hidden, that she was unaware of his inner fear. _What is she thinking about so seriously that it makes me feel like this?_

“Erudian…” she called out. And unlike the tones she had used before, it wasn’t said so sweetly or with a smile. There was a somber accentuation in how she said his name while her face was grave and impassive.

Blue eyes met his and for some reason, instead of the calm and beautiful sea—Erudian saw blue flames.

“I believe you have something to tell me, Erudian.”

Fear engulfed him whole and Erudian couldn’t move as his breathing hitched. He can’t let Yerenica find out, she would hate him—no _loathe_ him. The growing love in those eyes would disappear forever and he would be swallowed with nothing but pain and longing once again.

“Erudian,” she pushed. “what is going on? What aren’t you telling me?”

Everything was going well, they were going so well and his Yeni was here, alive, safe, and breathing. Everything was perfect and now everything was going to fall apart. They were going to fall apart if he tells her.

Erudian gulped down the anxiety, the trepidation clawing at his throat, and looks away, eyes turning to the orange and yellow flames. “It’s nothing of importan—“

“Yes, it is!” she countered. “Don’t think for a moment that I don’t know anything. You’ve been going to the Temple and the Tower for _days_ now. I hear whispers but I shut them out because I want to hear them from _you_!”

 **[Child,]** that godly voiced intervened, **[maybe it’s best--]**

“No.” he said, both for Raulus and Yerenica. “It really is nothing, Yerenica. No need to worry yourself over it.”

She huffed and Erudian could hear the angry breaths coming from her. He clenched his fists tightly. _Why can’t you just…_ He sighed as she opened her mouth once more.

“Do you see me as a child that is needed to be coddled?” she set aside her embroidery, turning fully to him. “Every time I ask, you give me an answer that speaks of nothing! You keep me in the palace all day, I almost feel like a prisoner here if it weren’t for Clarisse, and-and Marianne, and Perrik—“

His blood froze at her words. “You are _anything_ but a prisoner, Yerenica.” He declared. “You know that. What do I have to do to let you see?”

“That’s not the point here!” she cried, exasperation lacing her tone. “What I want you to do is to tell me the truth!”

“I have always told you the truth!” he defended.

“You’ve answered nothing!” she stood up, looking down at him. Erudian didn’t like it and so he stood as well, his height helping him to look down at her. He didn’t like how angry she looked as she looked down at him. It felt like it came from a nightmare. Right now, it really was a nightmare. He didn’t like this, he didn’t _want_ this.

“I’m doing everything I can to keep you safe. That’s all you need to know.”

“Safe from what? Erudian, you have to tell me!”

“Enough of this, Yerenica.” He looked away. “It’s getting late, you must be tired from all the events today. Marianne will—“

“You’re dismissing me now?” there was hurt laced in her voice and Erudian turned back, shaking his head and stepping closer to her but she stepped back.

“That’s now what I was trying to do.”

“Why is it so difficult for you to just tell me?!” she stomped her feet. “I trust you, don’t you trust me?”

“Of course I do!” Erudian exclaimed. “Yerenica, there’s just something you don’t need to know.”

“Then if this is what it will be like to marry you, I don’t want it!” she shouted and everything was silent.

Everything was silent, like the aftermath of the end.

Erudian felt nothing. Erudian heard nothing. And it was almost as if he could see nothing but he could see his Yerenica, flushed with anger, tears brimming at the corner of her eyes and huffing as if she was near breathless.

Erudian didn’t know what to say. What could he say?

 _“If this is what it will be like to marry you, I don’t want it!”_ his body trembled then.

“Yeni…” he tried to reach for her but she shook her head.

“Don’t you know how I felt when I saw her there? When I saw her?” her voice cracked. “You know how I feel about her and there you were. How long have you been seeing her without saying anything to me? If you were in my spot, what would you have thought? I trust you so much but you say nothing to me!” she cried, tears springing out of her eyes and she wiped them away even when new waves came.

“I feel like a dog whose job is to do nothing but sit pretty and smile for her owner, to wait by the door and to kiss you when you come back. I feel like some sort of-of-of _doll_ that’s just-just waiting for her owner to dress her up prettily and show her to others.

"I don’t know what’s going on! One day you’re so cold to me and then suddenly you’re a whole different person! I question myself if you’re really _you_ and not some-some-some something!—that my mind came up for me!”

Erudian stood there like a statue—no, like a lifeless corpse that was hung by an invisible rope.

This was the first time he had heard of her emotions, of her thoughts. Other than that heart-wrenching night on the balcony where he pushed he away, this was incomparable.

But like back then, he was now hurting his Yerenica. Her tears, her sadness, her anger; it’s all because of him.

_Will I always be the source of your pain, Yerenica?_

“If you want me to be with you, then let me!” she pleaded before finally, _finally_ , stepping closer again to him. “Let me share you burdens, let me share your troubles, let me share your worries and your pain, your fears and your anger, your happiness and your sorrow. I want to be with you, but I can’t if you won’t open up to me.”

 _I am. I am. I am._ He thought to himself the words he wanted to let out, but his face and mouth were immovable. _I want to be with you, I want you to be with me._

“Erudian, please.”

Ocean eyes. Eyes of water and sorrow.

_They don’t suit you, my Yeni._

Erudian raised his hand and touched the pink hair he loved so dearly. _You never liked your pink hair…_ He looked down at her, to those blue ocean eyes that made him feel as if he were drowning in the bottomless blue, made him feel as if he was falling from the sky with no end.

Those blue eyes… blue eyes…

**_That never opened agin._ **

Erudian let out a sound that made Yerenica’s eyes widen. He didn’t know what it was but he knew he was crying based on the blurry sight he has, based on the moisture on his cheeks. His hand travelled from her hair to her cheek, feeling the warmth and reassuring himself that she was alive. The divinity coursing through his blood rushing to her and her body just sucked them in.

**[Tell her. Tell her everything.]**

And the floodgates opened.

“Yerenica,” he gasped, breathless. “My Yeni,…” he closed as he knelt to her, hands gripping on the skirt of her dress as his head met her knees. “Yeni, Yeni, Yeni.”

“E-Eru?”

“I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“E-Eru, w-wait, this-this--.”

“You died.” He grieved, memories of weeks ago where it should have been the future coming to him. “You _died_.”

Pink hair, pink roses. White skin, white roses.

But an unseen blue. There was no blue. And black was everywhere.

“W-What?” the knees he held trembled and shook. “W-What…? How did you—“

Erudian tensed and looked up at her. “What?”

“How did you find out?”

Erudian paled. His entire body going colder and colder as if there was a snow storm inside him that he had never encountered in the winters of Belgoat before. His face felt as if all the blood had disappeared into thin air as her words registered in his mind.

“You…” he gripped her skirt tightly as she bent to him, holding and wiping his face from the water that was dripping down his neck. “You know? You remember?”

His Yerenica knelt before him, tears and horror now flooding her face. “I should be asking questions. How do you know about my death?”

“How could I not?” he clenched his teeth, the pain in his chest resurfacing. “I haven’t heard from you in years.” He felt her stiffen but he continued on. “And the first thing I hear from you after those painful years was your death.”

“Eru,” he opened his eyes to meet her wet, confused ones. “What… are you talking about?”

He blinked the waters away from his red-violet gaze. “What?”

“Eru, I…” there was hesitance in her voice, “I don’t… know what you’re talking about.”

Erudian straightened his back, his hands reaching for hers which cupped his face and held them. “But you said—“

“Erudian.” She bit her lower lip. “Eru, I’m not of this world.”

_What?_

“I’m—I’m—I’m from—“ she shook her head, her body trembling as tears came once again to the blue sea. “I’m not—My soul—it’s not of this world, it came here when I died.”

 _She died? Soul? Not of this world?_ The more she spoke, the more confused he became. She wasn’t speaking of the same death that he had known. She was speaking of another.

 **[The soul that died before you returned, and the soul that died in her world are the same. They are one. You went back in time so the soul went back as well.]** Raulus explained but it still didn’t make sense to him.

Nothing made sense.

“I don’t—“ he shook his head.

“Months ago, I died in my world due an accident on a bus.”

 _Bus?_ His mind whirled. _What is that? How did she die from it?_

“And when I woke up, I was in this body.” She pulled her hand, eyes looking down to her body. Her hands fidgeted nervously in her lap and he could not help but watch, listening with rapt attention despite not knowing anything. “I was so confused. I wasn’t me but then I understood, I was in the world of Brisney Wants to be Happy.”

His face was showing nothing but his Yerenica smiled and perhaps saw the confusion lurking behind his eyes as she began to explain, “Brisney Wants to be Happy is a book I was reading before I died. Erudian, this world that we are living in, this body, you, everyone—You’re all characters in a book I read.”

 _No._ His fingers twitched. _That… what?_

“Brisney, is my niece, my sister’s daughter and the main character of the story, Erudian.” She then lifted a shaky hand and placed it on his cheek. “And you, Erudian, my love, you died there.” As if it was something that broke her, a fresh wave of tears streamed her already wet cheeks. “You died and I mourned for your life.”

Erudian’s throat was dry as he watched her. What can he even utter at this point? What can he even say?

_You’re not the only one who mourned._

“You—“ he began, “You died.”

“Yes.” She nodded but Erudian shook his head.

“No, no.” he summoned every strength he had left and looked her in the eye. “Yeni, you died weeks ago for me. You died four years after being sent away.”

Her eyes widened and shock etched her face. “You—came back? You… you sent me back to Lebovny?”

He nodded, looking away as shame covered him whole. “I couldn’t… I couldn’t bear it. You suffered because of me, because I sent you away.”

“… What happened?”

Red eyes met blue.

“Erudian,” she leaned to him and kissed his forehead. Red eyes closed. “My love, my poor love, tell me everything.”

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

He laid the sleeping princess on her bed and lifted the blankets, covering her body with it. Erudian watched her sleep as he sat beside her body, lifting his hand to push away some pink strands. Her eyes were sore from crying and her lips dry. She was exhausted from all the events that night, she passed out in his arms.

As he continued to sit and stare at how the moonlight covered her, his mind went back to their conversation.

Her soul had no recollection of the time that was reversed but knew of the first death it had gone through. Erudian understood that she was in some sort of transportation when it was hit and she died from the accident. And when she woke up, she was in the body of Yereninovica Lebovny, the aunt of the main character of the story she read.

_“She was barely mentioned because she wasn’t supposed to be the one who went to Belgoat, it shouldn’t have been this body that came here it was supposed to be Tezevia, my sister. And they suffered here… But you took good care of them still, so thank you.”_

He scoffed. _Why would you thank me for something that never happened?_ He closed his eyes, tired from everything all of a sudden. _Is everything here even real?_ Erudian shook his head. _No need to get philosophical._

**[You need some rest.]**

“I don’t think I can.” He admitted softly. “Nightmares might come…”

It returned. His memories from the past, from the past that will no longer become a future.

“I don’t want to sleep. I don’t want to see anything.”

**[Rest.]**

“No.” he shook his head and there was silence before Yerenica blinked her eyes open and he smiled sadly at her. “Sorry. Did I wake you?”

“No.” she said softly. “Raulus did.”

They both admitted that the god spoke to them, and thankfully, during their talks, he was silent and gave them time to speak with each other. But they could sense he was there, listening attentively.

Erudian sighed. “You didn’t have to wake her.”

**[And you don’t have to exhaust yourself, child.]**

“Erudian?” she called and he trained his focus back on her. Yerenica lifted the blankets, eyes red from all the crying. “Hold me?”

Erudian huffed, a small smile on his face as he removed his jacket and waist coat. At the same time, Yerenica unbuttoned her dress and asked for some help with her corset. He helped of course, red-faced and embarrassed, not knowing how to handle it. In the end, he just grabbed a letter-opener and cut the strings.

“You’re so shy.” His Yeni let out an exhausted giggle as she cuddled close to him, only in her chemise while he was in his shirt, opened at his chest for some comfort, and in his trousers. “I’d never thought you would be so. The confident and strong Erudian shy in front of a woman in a corset.” She said, her voice soft with the drowsiness of slumber beckoning her once again as she wrapped an around his waist.

Erudian smiled sadly at her kissing her lips. “When it comes to you, Yeni, all of those just crumble.” He shared. “You did so in the past…”

“Hmm.” She snuggled to his chest. “That’s good to hear. All my efforts had some success at least.”

Erudian placed his lips on her head. “I’m sorry if I made you feel otherwise.”

“No.” she whispered, her breathing warming his chest. “I did seduce you to survive after all.”

His lips turned upwards. “And I’m thankful for that.” He lifted her chin. “It might sound horrible, Yeni, but I’m thankful you’re here.”

“… Me too... You have no idea...” She admitted. “One day, I’ll tell you but for now, I think we’ve had too much.”

“Hmm.” He nodded and kissed her closed eyes. “Rest, Yeni. I’ll be here when you wake.”

“You’ll sleep?”

He hesitated. “I’ll try.”

There was silence before his Yeni adjusted their position. Erudian let her. And when she stopped, his head rested on the space between her chest and neck. Erudian closed his eyes as he wrapped his arms around her waist as she held his head, caressing his silver hair as she began to hum an unfamiliar lullaby.

_Is this from your world as well?_

“Sleep, Eru.” She whispered. “You deserve that and more, my love.”

A reminder came to him and he kissed her neck. “Yeni?” he said quietly, slowly feeling the exhaustion of the day, the weariness and enervation of the night come to him.

“Yes?”

“Don’t be tortured by the past.”

He didn’t see it but he knew that a smile graced her face. “You as well.”

“Don’t be tortured by the past, my love.” She whispered, landing a kiss on his forehead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uwu leave comments and kudos~


	17. PART XVII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for not updating for months! I can't believe the last update was on September 13 huhu. I have failed you all. And this chapter is shorter compared to the previous ones, I am so sorry for that but I hope the other posted fics will bring some comfort (or the lack thereof) for you.
> 
> Happy, Happy 4th Monthsary Daddycation!

Erudian felt like he was at peace; peace that he hadn’t felt in so, so long.

He was engulfed in warmth and softness, and the gentle strokes on his hair assured him of safety, of comfort, of love. With all of those combined, he didn’t want to leave, he didn’t want to open his eyes. He wanted to stay in this small bubble of simple comfort.

“Erudian,” she called to him and he hummed in response. “you have to wake up now.”

His arms around her waist tightened. I don’t want to.

“You’re so cute.”

Cute? Erudian nearly snorted but instead, he just snuggled to the warmth of her decollete, the scent of flowers, vanilla, and honey making him want to shut everything else and remain where he was. 

“Perrik has been waiting outside.” A mutter on his hair. “Your valet has walked in on us already.”

 _I don’t care_. He continued in his tranquil world, not giving a damn about aides or servants.

A sigh.

“What will I have to do to make you get up? Really, your empire might collapse and you’re here lounging.”

“It won’t collapse.” He muttered on her soft skin before kissing it, making her squeal.

“Eru!”

In one swift movement, Erudian grabbed her lithe body and sat up. He placed her on his lap and wrapped his arms around her. And when Erudian opened his eyes that morning, he was greeted by the lovely sight of Yerenica.

Her hair was a slightly tangled mess, her eyes still drowsy and filled with sleep but she looked oh-so-beautiful with the yellow light from the sun entering the bedroom windows and bathing her in its warmth.

She looked like a divine and ethereal being, and Erudian felt like a sinner just by touching her.

And she gave him that wondrous smile, that smile that could melt any man and perhaps vanquish evil itself. She looked down on him and cradled his face with her cold hands, cold yet warm for him. Cold yet lovely.

“Good morning.” She greeted him softly, her shyness making her voice go soft and the pink hue on her cheeks appearing.

“Good morning.” He responded before leaning up and almost immediately, she leaned down and their lips met in a kiss. Erudian reveled in the feeling of their lips together and their bodies touching. He wished this would happen every morning.

And ever since that night three days ago, it has.

Gone was the use of Yerenica’s bed. Her bedroom has become nothing more than her ensuite and wardrobe. Everyone in the Imperial Palace would have no doubt heard, seen, and known by now that he intends for her to stay with him, Glucaman Road or not. And of course, what happens in the palace is known by the people outside of it as well.

Erudian wanted to groan at the rumors of him laying with the princess, making her his concubine, his mistress. Just the implication of them doing such acts is enough for him to stop thinking for a day.

He was a gentleman, of course. He would respect Yerenica’s decisions, but inside he was also a man. He had lived for nearly thirty years and in all those years, he can only boast of one experience and that wasn’t even something he wanted to talk about.

“Mmm…” Yerenica moaned into their kiss and Erudian leaned more, his hand on her back to keep her from bending backward while the other caressed her smooth thighs, lifting the nightgown. “Eru.” She gasped and Erudian moved his lips to her neck, kissing it gently as he tried to calm himself.

“Yes.” He muttered, a bit dejected.

“You’re pouting.” She giggled and Erudian hid a smile on the top of her breast.

“I’m not.”

“Of course.” She teased as she played with his silver hair. 

And it was like this. For the past three days, they were filled with bliss. The burden of pain, secrets, and guilt evaporated with the wind.

When they woke in the morning after that night of confession, his Yerenica finally broke her strong façade for the night and cried in front of him. And it was Erudian this time who held her, asked her, and comforted her just as she did in the night.

She wept for him, even after everything he had done, she still wept for him. She wept for his pain, his loneliness, and his unfortunate fate that was halted because of his ancestor taking pity on him. They didn’t do anything for the morning that day. They just laid and embraced each other, whispering comforting and loving words. And in the afternoon, when they took their first meal, word has spread that the princess has laid with the emperor.

“I heard something from Clarisse yesterday.” Yerenica pulled away, a laugh in her beautiful face. “Apparently I am with child with the future crown prince of the empire.”

Erudian felt like his world stopped and he stared at her unblinkingly as she continued to tell him of what else the people has been speaking about them.

“They say I’m a few months along now and that you have become very protective of the mother and unborn child.” She shook her head before pausing upon the realization that he had not moved nor said a word. “Eru?”

Erudian caressed the soft thigh in his grip, thinking, pondering, as he looked down to her stomach.

“Oh my God, Eru—I was just joking! I’m not pregnant! How could I be? We haven’t even—!”

Erudian stopped her rambling with a small peck before looking at her in the eyes. He gave her a soft smile. “I know. Gods, Yeni, I know you’re not.” He rested his forehead on her chest. “But still, I can’t help but think of it. Of _him._ ”

“Him? Oh…”

Deckard.

Erudian let out a shuddering breath as he hugged Yerenica at the thought of his son.

In the previous time, Soleia had made plans for the boy to kill him and perhaps she still harboured those thoughts until he had captured her and they made a temporary truce. But still, the thought of his little son, who looked exactly like him, becoming his killer, becoming a villain in two decades’ time… it haunts Erudian.

How could his sweet boy, who played with the buttons of his jacket or wrapped his entire hand around Erudian’s finger become so evil? How could Soleia push him to kill his own father at the mere age of eleven?

Erudian has no problem with death. He knew one day he would die as all adults have accepted the fact, but to be killed by someone you loved?

He raised his head and looked at the sorrow-filled ocean of Yerenica before she leaned down to kiss his forehead. Erudian closed his eyes at her comfort.

_It’s no different from what I have done to her…_

“Do you think he’ll come back to me?” he asked, unsure and embarrassed with his question. Yerenica wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her cheek against his head. They both knew the implication of her question.

_If you become my wife, and you become pregnant, will it be him? Will he be ours?_

Ever since Erudian had seen and held his son, he always thought of how he could have been Yerenica’s. When he would see Deckard being carried by Elard or by his nursemaids, his heart and mind would traitorously hurt him by making images of Yerenica, in all her beauty and glory, standing there with her arms around him as his little head would rest upon her breast.

And in those days, Erudian found it difficult to do nothing but stare at the empty palace across his.

“… What happened to him?”

“What?”

“Deckard.” He clarified his question. “You said we’re in a novel and he… was the villain. What happened to him?”

And when Yerenica said nothing but clutched him close, he knew the answer and let pain come to him.

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

Erudian held out his hand and helped Yerenica get out of the carriage gently. Even with her gloves, he could feel her nervousness as the eyes of the public trained no them. To ease her, Erudian placed her hand on the crook of his elbow and placed his hand on top of hers.

“What’s the point of this anyway if they’re going to recognize me?” she muttered, her other hand on her white ladies’ round hat with a veil. “And the flowers on this is too much.” Yerenica pouted at him and Erudian looked at the pink roses decorating the crown of her hat.

Erudian sent her a teasing smile. “Would you prefer diamonds or feathers?”

“The flowers are very lovely. Thank you.”

He chuckled and they walked inside the Temple together. Whispers abounded and greetings which they returned, albeit shyly on Yerenica’s part. Erudian didn’t loosen his grip on her and guided her to the familiar halls he had walked in his childhood.

The memories of his childhood reminded him of how it was different from Deckard’s.

When he was little, his father would take him here every week, reminding him of his duties, of his responsibilities, of who he is. The previous emperor had been a serious man who married for his country, sired an heir for his empire, and did everything for his people’s security and his happiness.

But perhaps, like Erudian, he had failed in being a father to his son.

 _I won’t let that happen again._ His eyes glanced down to Yerenica who waved to a group of children giggling and waving wildly at them. _And I know you won’t let that happen._

“Your Majesty, Your Highness.” Diego bowed as he greeted them on the entrance of the priests’ enclosure in the temple. “Welcome to the Temple.” He said with a smile and Yerenica returned it.

“Thank you, Diego.” She said before shifting nervously, “Is… Lady Elard in the room already?”

Diego sent them a reassuring smile and nod. “Yes, Princess. Lady Elard is now waiting for us in my study. There is no need to worry, Your Highness. The Temple is one of the few places in the world with the strongest divinity from Raulus himself.”

**[Yeah, you don’t need to worry with some witch, Crumbs! I got you.]**

Erudian resisted the urge to click his tongue lest Diego mistakes it for him while Yerenica lets a twitch of her lips show but covered it with a raised hand and a cough.

“I see. Thank you again, Diego.”

“Of course, Princess.” Diego bowed before gesturing to the direction of his study. “If you please.”

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

The room was tense with silence as Erudian continued to glare down at Elard.

Unlike the others in the room, he had opted to remain standing. He was not going to let his guard down. Not with Yerenica here. And so, Erudian stood behind the cough where Yerenica was sitting, senses alert with any possible move that the Elard might make.

The woman had caused great harm and damage to her, to both of them, in the last timeline and he would rather die than for it to happen to them again. Elard, of course, refused to be cowed and so she returned his glare as well, her arms and legs crossed as she sat on the couch of the study, dressed in the clothes of a female temple apprentice.

A cough and Diego’s voice spoke. “My Lady? Your Majesty?”

“Tch…” Erudian scowled at the woman. He refused to lose in this match, no matter how petty it may be to the other two in the room. _As if I would back down with this woman. She needs to know who is in charge._

Of course, between them, Erudian was the least talkative and the near decade they have known each other, Elard was the one who always spoke.

“You asked for my cooperation, you asked for my surrender, what more do you want?” she gritt her teeth at him, her fists clenching at her elbows.

Erudian didn’t grace her with an answer and chose to continue his glowering, taking her frustrated sigh as a victory.

“I don’t have time for this!”

“You’re no longer a wizard of the Tower, Lady Elard.” Erudian retorted, arms crossing and letting out a satisfied smirk when she glared at his reminder. “You have all the time in the world here right now.”

“E-Eru…”

Erudian looked down to see a nervous Yerenica.

He let out a sigh, restraining his tongue as he placed a hand on her shoulder to comfort her. As if it was a natural act, Yerenica smiled at him, placing her hand on top of his before glancing back to Elard.

“It’s nice seeing you again, Lady Elard.” She said but Erudian could feel the coolness from her hand, voicing out her fright to him and he gripped her shoulder gently.

“Likewise, Princess.” The red-head said, a slow smile on her face as she transferred her attention from Erudian to Yerenica. “It would seem that things are doing well in your relationship compared to last time.”

Yerenica titled her head, her smile still on her face. “Thank you, Lady Elard. However, we aren’t here for the current status of my love life. We’re here for a bigger problem.”

Elard smirked and leant back on her chair, arms and legs still crossed as her gaze washed over both of them. “See, Sir Schumart? I told you it would work. His Majesty just needed some push to tell her.”

Erudian could feel a headache coming along when his priest sputtered his response to the witch. _I really don’t like this._

**[Bear with it. All that matter is winning this war.]**

Erudian resisted the urge to glare at glare at the ceiling. _Easy for you to say._

“Enough.” He glowered at the now-relaxed woman. “We’re here to discuss Hades. Tell us everything you know and your plans in overcoming him.”

Soleia hummed, elbow resting on the rest, the back of her hand supporting her chin. “I believe I have told you everything that I know of. And in regards on how to stop him, I would have thought that you could do that since you’re the one with the most divinity in this land.”

“Hades is here then?” Yerenica interrupted politely. “He’s here in Belgoat? But how?” she looked at Diego before turning her head to Erudian. “Belgoat is a blessed land, is it not? It should ne impossible for him to step on this land.”

**[Even divinity has its limits, Crumbs. Not all blessed things remain.]**

Erudian pursed his lips. “Which is why we need to cleanse the land.” He finished. His eyes went to the confused Schumart and curious Elard. “The only reason he’s here is because the Tower has never been cleansed and that is how Elard,” he squinted his eyes at the woman who huffed in annoyance, “managed to summon him.”

“And what are your plans, Your Majesty?” Diego approached from his place by his desk. “Should we cleanse the Tower?”

Elard let out a sound. “Several levels of the Tower were cleansed with your… fiery act of love.” She narrowed her eyes at the memory to which Erudian merely gave a pleased smile. “Any more and no one will be able to do magic there anymore for years.”

“I, I’m sorry, pardon me for a moment.” Yerenica scrunched her brows in confusion. “’ _Fiery act of love?’_ ”

“Why, Princess, didn’t you know?” Elard tilted her head and Erudian wanted to cover it with a sheet. The sight of her makes his skin crawl. “His Majesty came to the Tower with a furious look on his face and barged in my study, burning it to the very stone foundation while the near floors of the Tower turned black from his divine flames.” She waved her hands on the last part, as if mocking him and he scowled at her more.

“Y-You did?!” Yerenica let go of his hand and turned fully to him and Erudian focused his eyes on her face, not on the… other parts exposed to him. “Erudian?”

 _Ah, so it’s Erudian now._ He groaned.

“What happened that day in Eugel Square was orchestrated by someone and I know who. I have also gathered information of who that person is and investigated myself.”

“That wasn’t an investigation, that was an attack!” Elard stood, hands gripped at her sides as Schumart moved in the middle to protect Yerenica or to stop the woman. “You gave us a pretense of a search when really all you wanted to do was rid me of my position and powers!”

“Semantics!” Erudian growled, his grip on the sofa’s backrest tightening as he glared at her. “Investigation or not, a crime was happening in the Tower and as Emperor I will do what must be done.”

“Enough!”

All three of them froze and watched as Yerenica let out a sigh. She turned once more to face Erudian and let out a nervous smile. “Eru, I wish to speak with her alone.”

“What?” Erudian gaped before shaking his head. “No, Yeni. I’m not leaving you alone in a room with a psychopath.”

“Excuse me?!” Elard screeched and was about to rush to him if it weren’t for Diego grabbing her wrists and trying to calm her.

“See?!”

“Eru.” She let out another sigh, “Please? And you know I won’t be truly alone.”

 _I have Raulus with me._ Was what he knew she meant. Erudian frowned.

**[You can trust me, Child. This is my temple after all!]**

_It’s just under your name._ Erudian was silent for a moment before in acquiesce. He sent a warning glance to Elard who seemed to have regained her composure.

“You have three minutes.”

“No, we have twenty minutes, Erudian.”

“Five minutes.”

“You’ll be sleeping in a different room.”

Elard and Schumart may have widened their eyes and their brains may have stopped thinking, but it was nothing comparable to Erudian’s shock and horror.

“Twenty.”

**[You’re pathetic.]**

“…”

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

“Are you finally planning to marry, Your Majesty?”

Erudian turned his attention from the closed mahogany doors to the smiling priest behind him. He cleared his throat before redirecting his gaze to the closed entrance once again.

“Is it that shocking?”

“Perhaps.” Erudian blinked and again looked at the brunette at his blatant admission. “I have known you for many years, Your Majesty. And seeing you like this, and with the Princess, it makes me happy and I have no doubt the people think so as well.”

“Oh?” his interest was piqued.

Schumart smiled again and lifted his arm to a direction, inviting Erudian for a walk. Erudian frowned and looked at the doors once again.

“I assure you, Your Majesty. Nothing will happen to Her Highness as she remains in this Temple.”

Erudian eventually sighed and went along with the priest and they walked in the pristine halls of the building, garnering the attention of every passerby. He briefly noted that the crowd seems to have gotten bigger and no doubt the word of him and Yerenica coming to the temple has something to do with the increased number of attendees.

Schumart must have seen where his attention was going and commented on it. “Rumours have been spreading, Your Majesty. And I’m sure you have heard some of them?” Erudian grunted and the priest chuckled. “His Majesty must be understanding. It has been decades since the Empire has seen an empress beside the emperor. And even if she has become a good person, people feared the thought of Lady Elard becoming the next mother of this nation.”

Erudian raised his brow to that. “Even you?”

Diego Schumart shrugged slightly. “I have had my thoughts, my concerns and my opinions fo that. I had thought that Lady Elard was indeed a fearsome woman, but everyone knew compared to her, no one else was suitable and had done so many achievements for the empire.”

“…” Erudiian was silent as they turned a corner, entering the open gardens of the Temple. Fortunately, the peole must have seen that the emperor and the priest were in deep conversations and didn’t bother them, keeping at a distance where they could still observe. “And what about Yerenica?”

“Your Majesty?”

“What do you think of her becoming the Empress?” he asked, stopping beside one of the great pillars in the garden. “As you said, compared to Elard, no one can say she did anything for the empire.” He frowned, suddenly concerned for the public opinion on Yerenica and what he should do for her not to hear them, not wanting her to be more insecure about herself.

“I think the Princess is a lovely woman.” Schumart assured him. “She’s sincere, kind, and thoughtful. She often thinks of others before she thinks for herself.”

_“When I realized where I was, I thought for Tezevia, the duke and their child. I thought of Ferdi, of his future son. I thought of you and Deckard.” She whispered to him quietly that night. “I was so scared, so worried and I didn’t know what to do.”_

“Yes.” Erudian whispered. “She does.”

Erudian could barely imagine the struggle she had to face. Dying in another world to wake up to a new one, one that was fiction to her and reality for him. Meeting people who knew her but remain unrecognizable to her, even if she knew their roles to play in that sad tale.

_A sad tale for my generation and for my son…_

Deckard.

_“You played the role as the Villain’s Father.”_

_“What?”_

_“Deckard… He was the villain of the novel. Erudian, I am so sorry.”_

Deckard had been the planned child of Elard and Hades, a key instrument in their plans for Judetta. And the weapon that would kill Erudian.

“Yes,” Schumart spoke again, driving Erudian away from the dark thoughts plaguing his mind. “the Princess has done some charitable work with the temple and the orphanages, as well some commonfolk. While some nobles and wizards who vie for Lady Elard to be crowned empress, the Princess has several supporters as well and the majority of the population.”

Erudian hummed, still bothered with thoughts of his son. Schumart must have interpreted it as distress for Yerenica as he once again tried to reassure and comfort him.

“I have never seen you this happy before, Your Majesty. And it shows for everyone else to see.” He gestured to the crowd who was watching him keenly. “Even Lady Elard.”

_Happy, huh?_

With that word, he can only think of a woman with the most beautiful smile in the world.

“Yes.” He smiled and waved to the crowd who cheerfully waved back. “I am happy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!  
> Leave some kudos and comments if you wish~


	18. PART XVIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this was done so late! I got so busy with school and other things (muehehe) that I didn't even have time to type a single paragraph for weeks HUHUHU FORGIVE ME DADDY

“The Duke, Ferdi, and Sergey are coming as representatives of the delegation it would seem.” Yerenica muttered as she read the letter in her hands as Erudian rested his chin on her shoulder, staring at the name of ‘Ferdi’ and ‘Sergey’.

He remembered Sergey Lebanon very well. Erudian pressed Yerenica more to his chest, glaring at the name of the man who clung to her when he could. Yerenica didn’t seem to mind as she hummed, continuing to sit in her place on his lap.

Erudian would have to keep a close eye on Sergey Lebanon. But one thing that he did find curious though was where was the said man during Yerenica’s funeral? If he indeed had been a close friend to Yereninovica and to Yerenica, then he should have been there, mourning alongside his and her friends and family.

 _Was he like me then?_ He thought, moving his face to her neck. She wriggled and shied for a moment, perhaps feelings ticklish even but let him be with a light scolding. _Did he want to lock himself away in his room and be drowned in thoughts of her forever?_

Erudian tapped his fingers on Yerenica’s waist. _If that is the case then, I will need to watch him._

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

“Don’t you have something to tell me…?” Eru asked, his voice muffled by pink locks. The body in his arms hummed, her body vibrating from the sound as she snuggled closer to him.

“I do?”

“You do.”

“Eru, it’s one in the morning.”

Erudian huffed. “You’ve discussed with Elard three days ago and you have yet to tell me what happened.”

The scent of roses filled his mind when Yeni moved from her spot on his chest to crawl higher, placing her face on his neck. “I just wanted to learn more. I thought perhaps she could give me something you didn’t know.”

Erudian raised his brow at that. “And was there?”

“Hmm.” She hummed once more, her fingers, which was in his grasp, tapping on his chest. “You said you plan on summoning down Raulus?”

“Yes.” Erudian affirmed, looking at the ceiling as he steeled himself. He was sure of his plans, but even then, he could still feel the fear lingering in his bones. Especially now that Yerenica has decided to join and help him. He was grateful for her help, grateful for her undying support and love towards him despite everything he had done.

_But I don’t want you on the jaws of death again._

It was a wish for Erudian to forever see his Yerenica in a state of happiness, never doing anything but play and smile at him all day.

But knowing the woman in his arms, he knew that would never happen and that she would never sit still.

_Still, it’s a good dream._

“If Hades is truly here, then the one who would best defeat him is the man who put him on his place in the first place.”

“And then…?”

“We’ll see.” Erudian responded somberly, before looking down at the sky-blue eyes which now focused on him. “Now, are you going to tell me what you and that woman discussed?”

Yerenica pouted at him before poking his cheek. “Stop being so mean to her, she’s already on our side.”

“As long as she is Hades’ summoner, and as long as I live,” Erudian frowned. “I can never forget what she had done.”

“That was then, Eru.” Yeni lifted herself with her elbow, her hand freeing from his hold as she placed a hand on his cheek. “This is now. Soleia’s helping us.”

“With a cost.” Erudian scoffed. “I still want to dispose the dark wizards. And it’s the law, Yeni.”

“I know.” She kissed his brow. “But they’re cooperating so you can’t really…” she coughed, not finishing her sentence. Death has been a sensitive topic for her and Erudian understood. “You can keep them in the Richards’ Estate, then. Keep them there and it will become their new prison of a sorts.”

Erudian raised his brow. “And what if other dark wizards come flocking to their doors.”

“Then let them.” Yerenica rested her head back down, this time on his shoulder. “I trust Lady Elard.”

_Easy for you…_

But still, Erudian could see where she was going with it. The wizards would have their lives, but remain in the estate that they wished to keep. If he gave Elard a restrained freedom, she would be cooperative, especially sicne she valued the people in that estate as well as the dark wizards she had known over the years.

Erudian glanced back down to a now-sleeping Yerenica. He let out a small smile before kissing her forehead.

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

**[And when is this supposed summoning going to happen?]**

“When I see fit.”

**[Wha—Such balatant disrespect! Crumbs, are you hearing this?!]**

“Well…” Yerenica placed down her cup of tea and glanced at him as he pondered over documents, detailing the preparations for the Bellyugung Palace for the coming guests. “What are you going to do here anyway? Hades has made no move yet and since he’s hiding, you wouldn’t be able to see him.”

**[I can detect mana!]**

“Slightly.”

**[I can still detect some!]**

“Haaa…” Erudian sighed, putting down the papers and rubbing his forehead as Yerenica snorted. “Why are you in such a rush? I understand the want to finish this quickly however, he would know by now that releasing Elard without doing anything would rouse suspicion from him and he might start doubting her. The best course is for him to attack, trying to get to Elard.”

**[It’s boring!]**

_Mother, help me._

“If it helps,” Yerenica sent him a nervous smile, “I feel the same, actually.”

Erudian blinked at her before frowning. “No.”

“But it’s just Countess Iven!”

“She can come here to the palace.”

“But I want to see her house!”

**[Yeah! Let us have some fun!]**

_You’re a god!_ His temple suddenly started to throb. _Your definition of fun is terrifying for humans._

“Eru, please?” He opened his eyes to see sparkling blue orbs pleading towards him. Erudian huffed and picked up the papers.

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

Erudian glared down at the men who oogled at Yerenica.

_I should have never agreed to this._

With the constant pleading from Yerenica, and the bothersome comments from Raulus, Erudian finally relented to Yeni going to Clarisse’s tea party. It was supposedly for women only, but when Erudian declared he wouldn’t be leaving Yeni alone there, the Countess decided it was for several nobility and merchants her husband partners with.

And now Erudian regretted telling Clarisse as she had invited several noblemen to make him feel at ease for not being the only male to attend.

 _Not that I would mind._ His eyes went to Yerenica who was with the countess, smiling as she was being introduced to excited women, **and men.**

“Your Majesty…” the count sighed beside him before Erudian moved towards where they were.

Iven had tried to separate them, and Erudian knew he was instructed by his wife to keep him occupied so she would be able to have some time with Yerenica, but Erudian had the upper hand. And he didn’t like how close the two women were becoming.

_It isn’t Lebanon I should be worried about at this point._

As they walked to reach the other side of the garden, Erudian observed the people gathering around Yerenica.

It was normal for them to rush over to her, the future Empress of the Empire and garner attention from her. The would be clamoring to get the spot next to her, despite it being clear as day that Clarisse Iven would hold that position.

And when Erudian noticed how Yerenica only nodded her head with an elegant smile to a noblewoman curtsying to her, he knew that there would be no one else who would hold the seat next to him, no one else but her, who would wear the Empress’ Crown.

“Clarisse has been training her, I guess. For the lack a better word, Your Majesty.” Iven divulged to him in a low voice and Erudian nodded.

“Good.” He said as he finally approached the group of women, and putting himself behind Yerenica, shielding her exposed back from the eyes of men. Marianne Levisilla was a blessing and a curse to his sanity.

“—beautiful! I have never seen such vibrant, pink hair before!”

“You flatter me, Lady Dane.” An embarrassed and flustered Yerenica hid half of her face behind a baby blue fan. “Thank you for your kind compliments.” She then blinked before looking at him. “Eru!”

“Are you having fun, my love?” Erudian took her left hand and kissed it.

“Yes!” His Yeni giggled and draw herself closer to his side, Erudian instinctively wrapping an arm around her. “Everyone has been so kind and Clarisse introduced me to some of her friends. Lady Alia,” she gestured with her eyes and Erudian followed, seeing a lady who bowed her head, “says her family is holding a ball soon for her grandmother’s birthday. Can we go?”

 _Ah, they have started inviting her._ Erudian smiled kindly at the noblewoman.

“Is there a date, my lady?”

“Three weeks from now, Your Majesty.”

Erudian hummed. “We will have to see, then. Forgive us for the unsure response.”

**[I don’t like it…]**

Erudian rolled his eyes at the deity’s words. _Do you want to see a party so badly?_

“Having you think about it is enough for me, Your Highness, Your Majesty.” Lady Alia smiled, giving them a curty before she leaves, the other ladies following her after Erudian stared at them, giggling as they understood that the Emperor wished to be alone with her.

Once they were out of earshot, Yerenica let out a sigh and rested her head slightly on his chest. Erudian smiled and pressed his lips on her forehead.

“I never thought coming to these would be exhausting… and to have everyone’s eyes on me is…” she let out a pout. Erudian had to restrain himself from kissing it away in front of others.

The noise and chatter from the tea party dissolved and it was quiet in their little bubble, Erudian embracing her from behind, shielding her from the crowd as they admired the view of the greenery around them. It was peaceful.

Too peaceful.

“I’m scared, sometimes.”

Erudian looked down at Yerenica who had her eyes closed and a saddened smile framing her lips.

“We’re dealing with something no human has ever dealt with before.”

Erudian embraced her tightly. “I’m scared, too.”

Yerenica lifted her head, a look of disbelief. “You don’t look like it.”

“I don’t want you to see it.” He leant down and kissed her forehead once again. “Can you even imagine how I felt when I came back here? To you?”

Though he has reassured himself that what has happened before won’t appen again, and that he has accepted this new life granted to him, there were times when he could still feel the looming presence behind him.

Her Mana Maladjustment was still here, and Erudian feared that he would lose her to it once again, and that this time he would be a witness to it.

Raulus had reassured him that he would bless her once he came down but, the fear lingered.

Still,

“Despite all that,” he kissed the top of her nose and she smiled softly, eyes closed. “I wouldn’t change it for the world if I just get to spend a single moment with you.”

O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0O

Yerenica brushed her hair gently as she prepared for bed. She could feel the divinity coming from the second floor of the palace where Erudian was with his council. A letter from Azekien just arrived and the contents of the letter was a request to meet and have some ambassadors come to Belgoat to discuss the issue of the mana stones, the Glucaman Road, as well as the Peace Treaty.

_They must be scared that Lebovny will be siding soon with Belgoat._

It was clear to everyone that Azekien only acted the way they did because they were spurned by the actions of her father. They wanted to have higher prices for their mana stones, and knowing that Belgoat needed them, they took the opportunity.

But, hearing talks of marriage between them, they don’t want to act bold to two countries, one who was a powerhouse in Riker and their greatest source of wealth, the other their bridge to Belgoat.

Yerenica placed down her brush and yawned. She wanted to sleep but wanted to wait for Erudian to return, as he had said it would only be for a moment.

As she moved towards the small collection of books Erudian kept in his room, she stopped when she felt the horrible sensation go though her body.

**[What?]**

“Did you feel that?”

**[Feel what? Mana? Is it strong?]**

“N-No.” Yerenica bit her lower lip before sighing. “Ah, I’m getting paranoid from all of this. It might be the mana stones protecting the palace.”

**[Your paranoid self is going to be the death of me.]**

“You’re a god!” Yerenica screamed in disbelief at the ceiling. “How the heck—”

A knock on the door made her stop and turn to the closed entrance. “Princess? It’s Leria. His Majesty has requested for me to send some tea for you.”

Yerenica once again let out a sigh, placing a hand on her madly beating heart. “Hello, Leria. Please, come in.” she said, approaching the door.

The guards outside the room opened the door quietly for the maid as she pushed a tray in. Yerenica beamed at the maid from the Bellyugung Palace. Leria was the youngest among the maids there and was often a source of joy back then for Yerenica as the maid would talk about the events outside of the palace, as well as some legends and stories of Brashard and Belgoat. Yerenica felt like she had a younger sister whenever she was with Leria.

“It’s so good to see you again, Leria.” Yerenica greeted a she approached the maid, only to blink when the girl stopped when she was inside the room, the doors still open. “Leria?”

Suddenly, an overwhelming pain surrounded Yerenica and she doubled-over.

 **[Crumbs!]** Raulus shouted and sent some divinity her way, but the mana pushed it away, covering her entirely.

“Princess!” a guard shouted as the other rushed to help the royal. “Someone alert--- ahck!”

Through her tears, she could see the first guard thrown across the room. The second one, who was close to Yerenica, turned back and unsheathed his sword but suddenly dropped it in favour of holding his neck.

As she cried silently, unable to even scream through the pain, she watched as the second guard choked, trying to save himself. She tried to reach towards him, tried to help him, but before her shaking hand could even reach him, he was thrown to Erudian’s desk, the table toppling over with the guard.

Struggling to breathe, Yerenica watched as Leria approached her with a dark smile.

**[Yerenica!]**

In the second floor, inside the council chambers, Erudian panted, blood dripping from the side of his forehead as he glared at his half-possessed, and half-unconscious council.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Belated Valentines ghghghghgh (this was shorter than I had expected but meh)


End file.
